A Story to Tell...

A Temporary Farewell?

2011-03-30T00:51:00.002+08:00

why so emo wan the title? yeah la i'm feeling pretty melancholic now. thanks to the rain and TVXQ's super romantic "Confession", and blogging at 1am bcoz cant sleep, not emo then is wat????? *childish*

i kinda miss somebody now. wondering and pondering how she is now. not like she knew and probably not missing me at all, but that's how i am feeling now. been thinking bout her sometimes lately too. but for some reasons, it's awkward to even send a message asking how she is. why? i never knew. just plain awkwardness. u know how u shud sound all cheerful whenever u send those "hey, how're u?? long time no news wor!" messages and i can say everyone's pretty good in it, including me. but not this time. i have no idea why myself. honestly, ever since she met that somebody, we kinda like, u know, lost contact for a long period of time. and to think we used to be so close, it's such an irony situation. Do people really change that much when they start dating?? I dunno, i've never experienced such thing before. i dunno if people will just have time for their somebody, or izit just me being over sensitive?

u grow up earning and losing frenz, but losing them for this reason is not acceptable for me. i sincerely prayed i will not end up like that. i dun blame her. everyone's different, it's up to them to prioritize what they want in life. But i seriously hope she can return to who she is to me, perhaps to realise one day that she still have a fren like me. or a day where she felt so dejected and lost, not even that somebody could help to solve whatever's troubling her, that my name would at least crossed her mind and i, ofcoz, no matter how much i would like to despise her for letting go of me like that, will lend a listening ear and a comforting word. i promise.

Sex Chromosomes Are Transports

2011-02-19T16:35:00.004+08:00

in my opinion, at least. wacky? read on.

i hope u know how we are born as boys and girls. it needs these pairs of XX or XY chromosomes, of course. and i supposed it's general knowledge that the X or Y chromosomes come from the male, join together with the other pair from the female and thus, it produces us. for centuries, especially in the chinese traditional families, the men or their narrow minded families would end up blaming the women if they gave birth to gals instead of boys, accusing them for being 'impotent' or 'incompetent' or whatever although scientifically, it is proven that males will determine the gender of their offsprings.

anyway, we had a talk regarding this topic not long ago, and it started with someone blaming his wife for not giving him a son. and so, the convo went smth like this:

me: omg there goes the same thing again. who ask him not to be competent enough? ur Y sperms fail to make it through, so y is he blaming us?

person 1: coz he's important (pun: impotent) person ma. *cackles* his sperms swam around and got flooded in the SMART tunnel. *cackles madly again and i was about to spit out my tea trying not to laugh*

person 2: haha. the he got gals right? bcoz his X sperms use leg to walk 1. that's y can reach fast. the Y got flooded away coz only got 1 leg. *2nd wave of laughter*

me: no la, Y is a pogo stick. *doing the action of riding the pogo stick*

and that's the end of the story.

this is a pogo stick. see, it's even a guy riding on it. so Y chromosomes = pogo stick?

lol!!!!! just kidding larh, no hard feelings ok!

anyway, went for shopping at sunway pyramid last week to get myself some shoes. i wanted the Zara boots that i saw in 1U so badly but couldnt find the right size. But Sunway din have a Zara (disbelief), so in the end i shopped and scout around and i found a much better one, and i heart it sooooo much!!!

pictures below!! oh yeah, it's my amateur attempt in using PhotoScape, so forgive me for the lack of taste in the designs.

My boots!! isnt it gorgeous? bought it at Viss.

I like this type where it is just up a lil bit higher from the ankle. i think those that goes up to the knee look a bit cheapo and make me look shorter (which u need to avoid esp when ur legs are a bit modest in length)

i love it so much i'm giving u another pic of it =)

i forgotten what this is called, but it's getting trendy in fashion nowadays. something like a schoolgal shoes. normally it is designed with shoe laces and black/white in colour, but this looks unique and different i decided to get this pair! and it's damn comfortable!!!! bought it for only RM 40 =)

Adidas's casual footwear!!!!! been eye-ing this for long already. it's like one of the most comfortable shoes i've ever worn.!! it was fitted with a VibeComfort foot pad, so it feels as if i'm walking on cushion while wearing it. perfect for gals for outings if u are hopeless in high heels and want to avoid painful legs =) comes together with white, but the three coloured strips at its side are not so striking as this black one.

Sunway is the best place for shoes, agree?

I hope...

2011-01-08T19:20:00.002+08:00

... i knew how to make-up. or at least use photoshop. because i wanna make my photos look prettier whahaha!

i am a totally failed camwhorer since i can't even mastered any of these skills. i mean, i do know how to put on a lipgloss, and a lil bit of blusher, but that's all. give me an eyeliner and i'll end up looking like a panda. give me a mascara and i can convince you i will get my eyes glued. give me an eyebrow liner and i will use it as a colour pencil. give me the eyelash curler and i think i will end up curling my upper eye skin instead. give me a foundation and i will just make myself look like a vampire.

i really really wanna learn how to make-up argh!!! but u see, i was born with a sensitive skin and even with just a day of concealer, pimples will be growing everywhere the next day. sad sad sad!! oh god, grant me a flawless skin like those korean girls, glowing and smooth and pimple-free!! or at least grant me a photoshop skill like Xiaxue's!! i want to make wonders with my face wtf. not asking for alot rite? no, might as well just do plastic surgery when i strike lottery.

if i knew how to photoshop, i could make my freckles disappear, my nose sharper, my eyebrows thicker and eyes bigger. and then i could camwhore freely without even bothering to worry about angles and lightings and whatever those things u need to know to look like Barbie doll. Who can teach me??

owh, i just browsed through my laptop and there is no such programme as Photoshop fml.

HAPPY NEW YEAR HUHAAAA!!!!!

2011-01-05T17:18:00.003+08:00

Hey it's the NEW YEAR BABE!!!!!!!

say hello to 2011 ppl! (Hello!) it's the 5th day by now and i hope everyone had a great start ok! back to work, back to study life, it may be the same old thing all over again for some of us (like me eish), but hey, it gets better since it's the new year! cheerz!! =D

forget about new year resolutions, i told myself not to make any anymore, since i broke (or in another word, never tried to fulfil) those i made last year. But i guess, i should just be more concerned about the ppl around me. Not that i am an ignorant bitch all this while, i give alot of love and care, but just u know, try to notice more of the surroundings and the people and everything. I'm turning 21 soon already, time to be more alert and streetwise. otherwise, i may still get fooled even when i turn 50.

JUST HAVE TO BE MYSELF!! (and perhaps a lil better than now. Hello new year!!!!)

Christmas was a modest affair last year. got myself a new Lumix ZR-3 camera (am so in love with it!! ), an Esprit sling bag which looked really chic on me esp since i had my new hairstyle, and a box of my all-time favourite Ferrero Rocherre(ok i dunno how to spell this thing out, i only know how to eat. see, i told u i need to be more alert of my surroundings, right?) chocolates.

My next target: iPHONE!!!!!! but since i just changed a new fon last year, it's kinda kua jiong to change again at such a short time rite? sigh, datin junaidah mentioned on her 1st lecture: we must know how to separate the "wants" and "needs". but somehow we still mix them up and the "wants" overcome the "needs". 100% true. The most sensible thing i've ever heard since i started pharmacy course. but omg, everyone knows this rite? who can resist temptation???????? if ppl can resist it, then the word "temptation" will never exist in the dictionary. ok i'm speaking crap. *slap*

seriously, if i were to list down my "wants", it will be as long as a lorry. But i am sensible as well. i'm just like an ordinary gal, who loves branded luxuries such as Louis Vuitton, Juicy Couture, Coach, Che Che (their bags are like... heavenly nice!) etc etc. But, i dun feel good buying them at my age, esp since i havent start to earn my own money yet. i do have a Che Che Swarowski-crystal watch, but i got it as a Christmas pressie two years ago. if i were to buy it myself, i would be very very heartache. yeah, i'm that kedekut (that's y i was born under the Horse zodiac whakaka) so, i will wait. and frankly speaking (sorry to all Louis Vuitton and Guess and Coach's lovers out there), these brands are not worth being purchased by me because there are simply too many fucking imitations out there!!!!! When u walk around the Chow Kit road or Petaling street or Pudu Raya, u can see many of these small stalls that shamelessly sell the imitation products. And the people who bought them from these places are like, omg who're u kidding at? All the mamats at the tepi jalan strolling around with a cigar stuck at their mouths, fingernails blacker than charcoal, shirts shabbier than others and they're carrying a Louis Vuitton bag????? or a Gucci wallet? and omg, what do i see there, a fake Guess belt, with their significant plastic diamond-encrusted "G" at the front????

and there are ppl selling and wearing fake watches like Baby-G, Guess, Dunhill, Rolex and any other brand, u name it. 10 years ago, when they produce an imitation, they normally alter either the spelling or design or logo a lil bit. like Baby-G is spelt as Beby-G, Esprit as "Espirit", Guess as "Geuss" and Louis Vuitton's flower logo will be modified to look like a spade or smth. Now, they completely copied the exact thing from the real product. What, all these really make the brands look cheap man!!! even if u see a very elegant woman walking past u with a genuine LV bag, u will still think "aiyer, sure fake 1 lah her bag. see also know dy." T-shirts also, have many imitations. a real MNG printed largely across the blouse, and u go "cheh, see the colour and the way the MNG looks, sure buy from pasar malam 3 for rm10 1 lah." or if the person is holding a fake Prada wallet, u may go swooning, "omg, this fella sure has alot of money hor. i also want."

what i'm saying is, if u can't afford or simply too kedekut like me, dun make urself so despo or cheapskate by buying all these fake products. personally i dun feel good holding those stuff. Who knows if some of my frens saw me with it and asked "yor suyuen, u lucky gal, who bought this for u?" and how shud i answer it? bcum a thick-skinned and admit it was "real", or say "no lah, fake 1. bought from petaling street for rm40 only. nice right? like real 1 rite?"

duh, i cant bring myself to say any of those two sentences.

and u're being not fair to those who actually bought the genuine ones for a whooping high price!!! poor thing, ppl doubting their real LV as a fake one. So, say no to fake products!!!!

so, for me, i normally like my possessions to be of brands that are not being imitated yet. i don't think i saw any fake Che Ches so far, for the Esprit i feel sorry for it but doesnt matter, since i doubt others, i dun mind them doubting the genuine-ness of my stuff wtf. see, i'm that sensible right?

hokkien drama started. haha yes i watch soap dramas just for fun. ok byeeeee~!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011 AGAIN!!!!!!!

I Chopped Off My Hair...

2010-12-28T11:24:00.002+08:00

....again.

After so many months of telling my frenz confidently i'm gonna keep it long and nice and be real girlish, i can imagine them going "suyuen ah, u said 1 keep long hair, y go cut it ler?"

ah i dunno i dunno!!

at the salon ystdy, that guy stylist looked at it and said "did u have a style where one side is long the other side is short?" and it is a yes. It was a pixie haircut which i really love but u see, i've been watching many korean dramas lately and all the girls have these very nice long locks and i want them!! ok back to the salon story. he took the mirror out:

stylist: if u want to keep the original length and just trim at both sides to make them even, they wont look nice. so i recommend u to cut them short a.k.a bob style, den they'll look nice and if u decide to keep them long, at least they will grow into even length.

me: izit? but.. but.. *speechless* erm... ok *falling for his words* oh wait wait, i had bob style b4 and the other stylist said i need to have a higher maintenance on it coz my hair is not thick (mine is fine and thin) so it will not bob out nicely. and my back head is slightly flatter. so u think it'll be ok?

stylist: nahhh.... bob is for ppl with fine hair. *gulp*

me: hmmm....

stylist: u seriously dont want ur different side lengths anymore? it's nice actually. *spotted a stylist with that kinda style*

me: erm, nvm. just cut it. i dun think it look nice now since it's been so long time and all the different lengths of hair are sticking out.

stylist: wat about ur fringe? u want it to be aaa style, or look like bbb or maybe ccc style?

me: ................ (seriously, i have no idea wat this fella is talking about. nobody has ever asked me wat type of fringe i want) just a fringe that can see my eyes tat's all.

and the results of all the confusion..

no pictures available yet. but i look smth like Ha Ji Won in her new drama Secret Garden. swt die me wtf. i still like my pixie cut the best. annyong long hair sobs!!! and to make things worse, i suddenly remembered that PharmNight is coming oh no oh no oh noooooooooo!!!!!! how to look girlish and pretty now sighhhhhzzzz. can someone grant me harry potter magic ability bcoz his hair could grow overnight when the style displeased him? fml

I Can Has Free Tickets! XD

2010-11-20T16:02:00.002+08:00

i wanna blog today because i have the mood to. which comes every 2 months poor thing. omo only 4 more days to finals eeeeekkkk *bite nails chew skin* no no i'm not blogging on it dun worry.

Juz visited my good fren in hospital today. finally she had her surgery after having the nagging lump in her throat for so long time. since secondary skul when i knew you babe!!! anyway, it's good thing the surgery's successful, u'll look prettier now my dear! hope that sexy husky voice u have remain too kyahahaha =) take good care and the next time when u read this post, u're all healthy and pretty already *,*

am so so so ecstatic until my English goes all upside down inside out wrong (check title) because omg, i got 4 free tickets to watch Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 1 omg i am gonna pee in my pants by thinking bout it! u wondering how? ahahaha because Daniel Radcliffe is my bf and he sends me those tix specially for me.

Nah juz kidding i dun even like him that much. i won those tickets from RedFM lah, that's lucky or wat, u say? =DDDD they were giving free cinepasses this week and i thought i should juz try out my luck in it. Knowing my style, i would probably give up after the 2nd try because hell yeah, i only succeeded after the 3rd time!!! dunno where i got all those keazaman and keinginan and ketabahan and whatnot. i was juz commenting about how difficult it is to get through those tickets because they want the lucky 9th person's sms and it's like, u gotta hit the correct time to press the SEND button on ur fon. at the precise, correct time so it means u have to be the luckier person than others in the whole Malaysia who're listening to RedFM at that moment and clicking away at the same time. and it's Harry Potter my dear, not some junk they're giving out where u might be the only one sms-ing in and even if u're not the 9th lucky person u still got chosen because obviously, there's no other ppl going for it.

so on my 3rd try, with not much expectation, i got a PHONE CALL FROM the DJ woohooo~~~!!!! she asked me y do i wanna watch harry potter so i went on saying stuff like "oh oh i reli love harry potter i read their books since i was very young bla bla bla" (so if u think this sounded familiar to u, yeah that's me) i was so dead nervous and hopping around like bunny i dun even know whether i was answering her q or not. when i finally listened back to how and what i sounded like in the broadcast few minutes later, i must say it was as if someone is presenting me with that rare pink diamond worth some hundred million US dollars. i even said "OMG i finally won it!" yes i am that happy coz i am a lucky gal lol!

Random random

2010-10-02T16:15:00.004+08:00

got jammed a while thinking of my password. problems with ppl who abandoned their blogs and not even bother to look in sometimes. anyway back again. life is pretty simple recently. Pharmily Day's just ended. seriously speaking i can only feel half a joy throughout the event. i guess i'll feel more satisfied if i get to contribute more than juz collecting funds and waiting for ppl to claim money from me. (yep, i was the treasurer. High committee sounds good, but i would prefer work than name. anyway it was a great success.

attended kimi's 21st birthday last friday. Happy birthday babe i lub u so so much =) it was a simple yet meaningful gathering among us ex-st. marians at pastry chef (somewhere near desa park with lots of cakes and desserts as their main course). Although motly attended are kimi's former classmates and her former collegemates who i am not close with, i get to meet anthr of my bestie, Taufu!! really missed chatting and catching up with them. i felt the happiest when i'm with people like them, always. my old pals. looking at them and also the rest of the noisy fun-loving play 18SX-games gals there, it really reflects to me how different having them and the frenz i have in uni. they are like the opposite in so many aspects. no wonder ppl always said, appreciate frenz from ur secondary skul life coz that is the period where u enjoyed the most. positively true. u can really be urself when u're with them. they are the ones who u can show ur most childish and idiotic sides where they are forbidden in the eyes of others. coz we knew each other when we were all young and still growing. we can make ourselves silly, coz we are silly people back then in skul. which makes me think of my other bestie kki, who mentioned Hukum Nikyuen few weeks ago. i almost died from missing those moments we created that stupid law (which involve very difficult formulas to calculate the velocity of urine) and started bragging with each other that it will be made the compulsory subject in skul and kids will dread learning it, complaining how crazily difficult it is to their brains. yes, i dun think so i have the confidence in finding anyone to create such nonsense with me now anymore.

still, it is part and parcel of life. the past is to be cherished, not to be looked back. i have to grow. everyone has to grow.

now for something more trivial, i've been making some plans for my future. i ought to really start improving myself in my course. it burdens me if ppl told me i can cope in my studies no matter how much i complain about it. i mean, it's not like spm or pmr or watever exams we have in skul. it is not addmaths where u can juz use ur calculator and do alot of exercises. It is not like biology where u can juz memorize and understand things like photosynthesis. Or BM where u can juz learn ur tatabahasa or answer some prosa tradisional questions. pharmacy is a challenge for me. it has never been my choice to be in pharmacy. *hits self for not having an ambition* 3rd year is the clinical year, the key that i have to gain in order to serve others in future. but it is not helping me when i couldnt remember what i have been learning for the past 2 years. like it or not, i shud buck up. not being kiasu, but i seriously need to improve. i dont wish to be like those doctors (i am not gonna be one, juz taking it as an example) who diagnose patients wrongly and later being laughed at by the society. (who in my opinion are so smart nowadays they might even correct u ppl if u made slight mistakes). once i had these rashes all over my skin and the doctor said i have psoriasis. swt die me. summor ask me whether i have backbone pain anot fhl. so erm ya, i really duwan to be like him. i duwan to give out the wrong prescriptions and having other pharmacists or worse, aunties uncles to shout at me "bodoh punye pharmacist bagi ubat salah! u dari mana datang!?"

so this is what i have been thinking recently. i am scared. u see? and there are some messy dirty people who get on my nerves lately. for one thing i really cannot stand seeing a place where i stay to be not in order. it depresses me a few months already, having to come back to a place which is so crazily messed up. it is bad enough to see such condition, but having my own place made dirty and messy by these certain kind of people is taking a great toll on my patience ftl. it's really sickening having to clean up their mess for them. i am not complaining, coz i do the cleaning up all the time. it's juz that i hope from my actions, these people will learn that there are some disgustingly unhealthy habits they really need to change. but a person's character is not to be changed in a day's time.

these kinda things are bothering me alot it drives me mad. sighs. but there is one person who i can depend on whenever i have things to confide into. on the way back home today, mom saw how miserable i was with my week having to tolerate these things and also other matters plus my mood swings, she stopped by at the roadside to buy us cendols. what would i do without her? i think i have the answer. i'd juz die.

2010-07-27T23:51:00.002+08:00

after a long time and finally blogged, why can't i juz blog smth happy?
it troubles me to think that no matter how hard i tried, it will always seem shitty to others. no matter how much effort i put in, ppl will think i am not good enough. dun get me wrong, i never said that i am great and mighty, but i do have my dignity and it sucks when u know that ur weakness is being judged most of the time instead of ur strength. maybe i am to be blamed. i do not know how to express my thoughts and feelings at some time, i monkey and kid around, is that y ppl are not taking me seriously for who i really am? that ppl can juz hurt me like how they wish to, ignore me when i'm being too quiet, and being nice to me only when i am back to being frenly myself?

tired. sick for all these. i wanted to do my best. i am doing my best. i wanted to please not only myself, but to others. i know there are ppl who put hopes on me. that pressures me but i tell myself that as much as i can afford, i will strive for it. but in de end, wat do i get?

"u are useless". so easy to say.

enough said. reflecting myself is probably wat i need. to prove them wrong. to prove them that i am worth as a human who has values in their lives. u may take it as a joke, u can utter dagger words that u dun mind throwing them at me, but i take it seriously and get myself improved. it is hurting, it is hell miserable, but it's part and parcel of life.

Undefined Post

2010-06-14T17:06:00.003+08:00

something bothered me yesterday. something that has long buried in me haunted me again. i dunno how i got it remembered but i guess it was coz i saw someone got upset recently due to family matters. Her worries brought all the bitter memories back. things i din wanna get reminded of. i dunno why i'm avoiding. i'm not running away anymore. i promised myself to forget, but the scar is there and i will always have it within me, i know it. i'm blogging this for those who bother reading about who i was like in the past and how it changed me. A past is a past, i cant change it, nobody can. i juz hope ppl can accept me for who i am after this.

since my primary skul days, i've always been expected to be the best in watever i do. my parents, esp my mom, teachers, and even peers were always putting hopes and expectations on me. peers always comparing my work and results with theirs, teachers provoking me, telling me i failed in his paper although in fact i was the 1 with the highest mark. kids like me juz simply couldnt handle such news and i remembered bursting into tears and mom gotta come fetch me back home during skul hours(mind u this is during PRIMARY SKUL!). Mom, being very strict bout my education last time, always been drilling me up. i was terrified most of that time. the pressure and stress for a kid, i guess not many of u would und it.

and then i started to do things that i did not dare to admit until today. nope, not drugs or anything juvenile. ppl did it, my lecturer did tat b4 and they can take it very lightly and laughed bout it. but wat i did was smth so extraordinary if i were to describe wat it was, ppl would be awed at how my mind worked. it was not smth i'm proud of, but i changed bcoz of it.

when i started sec skul, i was considered as a freak. gals found their besties and own gang, and i was a black sheep among them. i din have many frenz back then. i dd tried to get frenly, but it was like this whole gang thing that no matter how nice u were, u will never be part of them. things din improve when i bcum prefect. my serious upbringing has made me a serious, no play-play person myself and thus, i earned isolation from ppl. my extraordinary acts were carried all the way up till then. until one day, i was discovered for my wrong deeds. my stupidity has never been more defined. i lied to mom before the discovery. i din want her to think that her daughter was imperfect after all. u might think that after all the years she has been teaching and training me, she reli expected me to be the best. and she trusted me. when she sat there, horrified by wat she heard, tat watever i had said were all lies, tat watever i finally admitted were all true and heartbreaking, she never lost her cool. she never spanked me in front of my vice principal. she shedded a few tears only when we were in the car and confronted me in a soft way. and that was the time when i vowed that i'd never ever let those tears fall again. i went to bed crying that day. and even when i'm typing this, i'm crying to think back all the painful past. tat night, dad was very cold towards everyone of us. mom, who i thought would be treating me the same for being so cruel to her, actually gave me a hug and consoled me everything would be fine soon. i was indisbelief. how can someone be that forgiving? she's a mom, but she's still a human! and then only i finally realised. Mom might have blamed herself for watever tat happened to me. her high expectations, her constant terrorizing methods to bring me up, her ways in making sure i excel in everything i do has caused me to my downfall. and yet i wished until now that my assumptions are not correct. it was definitely not mom's fault. she was only trying to give the best for me. but perhaps not in the right way. i wont blame her for wat i did. it was not in her control that i turned out to be like that.

after the incident, i was glad that ppl were once giving me chance again. juz like my mom, they gave me hopes tat every mistake done is to be learnt, and do not condemn those who have committed the mistakes. i remembered my fave English teacher came and counselled me. we had a talk, and i knew tat this world it's not about being the most perfect, it's to have all ur imperfections turned into lessons everyday and improve urself. my Headmistress even approached me personally and invited me to this Christian camp during skul holz.

i started anew. i built myself up to be someone who i am confortable to be. i learnt to be myself, not someone who everyone expects me to be. when i was in form 2, a gal approached me to be frenz and that was the 1st time when i actually felt wanted. i loved that fact and i would never forget it. i chased for the feeling of being who i am to ppl all the while, and finally i had it. and we were besties till today! Girl, if u're reading this, i'm sure u know i meant u =)

things improved when i am a new person. i had many great frenz for my remaining high skul days. true, i did still rebel a lil bit sometimes, like skipping sports practice for a pizza at a mall, and some other things else. my frenz and i were were even once called up to principal's office bcoz according to her, we were "intimidating to our classmates". i dun think so we were so intimidating anyway, we did wat students did best: making lotza noise. we were young, and youthful, and naive. but i loved it. it was wat all high skul meant. to enjoy while we could. i am not going back to being the devil i was. i 1 nonsense in my life. i love nonsense and laughter and silly pranks and getting naughty and breaking as many rules as possible with frenz. i am not tolerating with the no-play2 attitude anymore. bye bye to the damned thing. When i was offered a prefect post (which i stopped after the incident) again, i happily said no. who fucking cares about the cert and superior feeling and all those shit? it is so not me. i am carefree and joyful person without having to yell at my own peers to buckle up their uniforms and tidying up their hair, confiscating their CDs and boyfriend photos and spotchecking into ppl's bags like how i stinkingly did during primary skul days. nope. i dun need those. i need experience, so i joined many activities instead, and i am proud to say that i held a few positions back den. and i represented my skul in several competitions. This is wat 2nd chance meant to me. A lot.

watever i did after that were my pure effort. mom was proud and has never pushed me anymore. me entering matric was anthr great journey for me. her sacrifices to get me enrolled, she knew wat she's doing is definitely right this time and i'm thankful for it. Matric. hmm.. it was the 1st time i met ppl from all over the country. and these ppl were great ppl. they cared for me alot. and it is one place that i can felt certain that none of them knew my past and there was no need to tell them, coz in their eyes, i am also like one of them, juz a normal human being.

and so the journey continues as now i am in uni. my proudest moment. i can boldly say tat i am family's pride. and all from me striving hard. not perfect, but smth i am proud of coz it's all my own effort. pure effort. i am a leader in my own way. Uni is anthr place with many challenges, and i will take watever opportunity i have to learn as much as i could. not perfect, but taking imperfections and turn them into something that is good for me.

i am who i am today. ppl who know me for, or even wat u remembered me as, let me tell u tat i am being myself. if u rmbred me as someone funny, weird, a gal who can burst out singing Tanggal 31 Ogos when everythingg's too quiet, or who can sudd strike a catwalk while walking with u, someone who juz loves cracking stupid lame talks and annoys ppl to max, or a person who u love talking to and listen to ur stories, a gal who takes beer like it is tea, someone who loves to smile, laugh, lend a hand to u along ur path, all these signify me for being me.

i can put down my past, but i do admit that there were still some things i cant face. like there are still some ppl that i wish i'll never meet again, bcoz they were those who i knew will never be my frenz. i do put on a mask whenever i felt i'm being fragile and i don't want ppl to know what i am thinking. but i am fragile. i am strong only when i have my loved ones and ppl who cared for me. like Mayzhee quoted in her blog, a mask is not reli useful coz it'll only reveal more than it can conceal.

i hope to be a role model. there is no need for me to be a Prime Minister, or someone in the high position or someone with important titles to influence. i hope to inspire thru my words and actions. in short, myself. the reason? coz i'm a changed person, and i thanked myself for it. bcoz i changed for the sake of me. and i do ppl proud of me bcoz of being the genuine me. this is wat the whole post is about.

Smile That Charms!

2010-06-03T21:35:00.002+08:00

Rmbr when i told u that i have weakness for guys with smile wrinkles?

Hugh Jackman

Kenneth Ma(he has la)

Robert Downey Jr

Patrick Dempsey

what do u think?

yeah, they're mostly in a more advanced age (in ur words, old) lah, and i can nao tell u that i love old guys more than young bouncy types!!! i am not kidding=) guys of such age always attract me better than pretty boys coz u juz take a look at them once again and u'll know why.

Why? it gives u a feel of secure and maturity in them, betul?

like u can lean on them, listen to their deep voices and u know that u have someone that reliable to put ur whole trust.

like u can walk on the streets with him, once in a while steal some glances at him, and when he realised what u are doing, he flashes one of his heart-stopping lopsided+wrinkled up eye smiles to u

like u can go up to him bawling ur eyes out and complaining which bitch FYL today or which uncle at the road side pick on u or which naughty kids run and knock u down the stairs, and listen to him go, "it's ok, you have me" plus all his other jokes and thought-provoking stories that teaches about life

like u can always hear smth like "i'll be the most contented guy if u love me half as much as i do" from him. (ok that line is from a novel i read some time ago)

like he knows how to protect u physically and emotionally

like u know that his advices, words and knowledge are able to change a person and he himself has his own perspective, thoughts and visions of life. he is not a whiny sort of person.

awwwwWWWWWWwwwwwwWWWWWwwwwwWWWWwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tell u a lil secret la which is no more a secret nao anyway. i knew i always have a thing for older guys la. when i used to work in a kindergarten, i actually had a super major crush on this fella who has a 3 year old son back then. every morning he'd fetch his son to kindy in a van b4 he drove off to work. and i was the one to unbuckle the lil kid's seatbelt, receive his morning greetings, and at the same time threw polite smiles to his dad.(wat, i am a teacher leh, got wrong in smiling meh?? polite mah!) me and my bestie wud swoon over him and also hers at her working place almost all the time(she had big crush on anthr old guy too. we both like the same thing. besties no wonder!) like how he smiled, his rough intonation, his ice-cool looks, his intelligent eyes, and the unforgettable one from her "his popping veins along his arms and hands!!!! warghhh!"

yes we were hysterical over those guys then. and we had a thing for guys with brains for maths, how they concerntrate in figuring out the answer is something we went gaga over.

mark this: i dun reli fancy those now anyway. i like wise types, not genius. different wan, ok. genius is those who stuck pencils at ears while thinking and wont even look at u until they found an answer in a q. wise man is someone who already has an answer to everything u 1 in life and it is ofcoz, based on his experiences that certainly cannot be learnt from books.

does this explain why i dun have a bf till now? XD

or maybe i'll end up becoming people's family wrecker. choi choi choi, touch wood!!!! i dun go for married guys thank u very much.

so now u know smth about me la. better get back to my work now i cannot go on blogging need to settle things b4 i go for my vacation!!!!!! weeehhheeeeee~~~!!!!

and tomorrow is FRIDAY!!! FRIDAY means END OF SPECIAL SEM!!!!!!! i suka!!!!!

<3<3<3

Tips to Get Girls 2 (nah just forget bout it, not this one)

2010-06-02T17:45:00.005+08:00

ok i've always think that this guy here is good looking, but after watching Prince of Persia, he is NOT good looking at all. he is

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

HEAVENLY LOOKING!!!!!!!!!!

If u dunno who he is, this is JAKE GYLLENHAAL, one of the yummiest faces in Hollywood. oh and u really shud watch Prince of Persia anyway, if u dun like anything that involves turning back time and quest to save the world, at least there's this really irresistible eye candy. so with my latest obsession, i juz googled pictures of him and i almost fainted with watever i saw. i grabbed some to satisfy myself and u =) go Jake go!!!!!

wat's with those puppy eyes? i can die happily nao!

The gorgeous Prince of Persia and my heart!

have i told u i have weakness for guys with smile wrinkles? that's the 2nd tip from me if u cant look as godlike as this

PS: and i do love gigi taring that're especially sharp (not vampires ok) and jagged. like his!!!!

*Die the 2nd time*

Even with moustache he looks sooooooo gorrrrgeousssss!!!!

And i am not kidding when i say i am obsessed with him:

<3<3<3<3

who wud believe that he is actually the brother of this woman:

Maggie Gyllenhaal. The Knight's woman. The most beautiful woman, as wat stated in the movie's script, by Joker. ==""""

i'm not nasty or mean or bitchy, juz read Xiaxue's blogpost on her if u think I am. hmph.

Jake is mine. lol.

Tips to Get Girls 1

2010-05-18T08:27:00.002+08:00

guys, if u're in lurve with a gal and dunno how to confess, u can try singing this song to her (add marks if come with an instrument):

Lonestar-Amazed

i think it's nice and not cheesy=)

Outings vs yakkings

2010-05-17T12:25:00.002+08:00

ok me blogging this outta blues and waiting for my "You're Beautiful" to load ( it is a korean drama, mind you, in case u're asking how can this suyuen be so self-obessesed until can watch such narcissistic we-teach-u-the-best-way-to-beautify-yourself-and-guarantee-you'll-be-satisfied-and-introduce-us-to-your-friends-soon video) so yeah, watever. wtf.

*Lady Gaga Poker Face is on and shaking my booty*

met up with my two dear gals last thursday at the curve. goshhh i mishhh them real muchie man. panda's got coloured contact lens now which i so want since last time already(and i hate to wear specs, coz i wanna look prettier and dont wanna keep wiping my specs coz i am extremely lazy. blerrkk)

*oh yeah, pics at my fb. go see urself la i lazy upload*

and ppl said gals cant stop talking. we are a whole bunch of chatterboxes!!!!!! one conversation went something like this.

18SX anyway.

Taufu: u know, in Japan, the parents will strip and have sex in front of their children when they feel the kids are old enough. it's a way to educate them.

Me: oh? so ka? (it means reli? in japanese)

Taufu: en.

me: hick, i cant imagine that.! i mean, parents will go all strict and might ended up saying this after sex demonstration "children, do u understand!?" *kids nod nod, mom dad casually wear clothes back* "or u need mama repeat?" *kids nod and then immediately shake shake head*

ok i even made those actions, blif it or not.

yay, video finish loading. and i promise i will upload my pressies pics soon la~! byeeee

This is what u get when bombarded with holidays and stuck at home 2

2010-05-11T12:23:00.003+08:00

ok lemme tell u this i din intend to attract anyone's attention or smth but i realised after bath yesterday, i was wearing all yellow (even that so it was my sis who pointed it out first) and then my psychotic brain went "hey i grab the banana u take my pic, ok?" and then my olympus camera is yellow too! so in the end i had to use my suckish w705 so-called 3.2megapix camera for this:

trust me if u juz finished ur meal or in a foul mood, u dont want to see this. i'm helping u to save ur computer from undigested leftovers and punch damages.

well, if u wish:

yellow shot 1

yellow shot 2

yellow shot 3 and looking all bubbly

and still i am not happy coz my slippers are not yellow, my hair is not yellow and i am attracting your attention now.

hate me or lurve me, juz see this since u've already come to this point:

are u gonna compliment me? u sure need to, i am all pretty and glamorous now, aint i? XD

This is what u get when bombarded with holidays and stuck at home

2010-05-11T12:03:00.004+08:00

i was watching project alpha season 2 on youtube (a reality show featuring top malaysian bloggers. i watched it mainly coz i wanna see how cheesie and xiaxue look like without photoshop. i'm not being nasty of wanting to see their real faces ok, they admit alot about it anyway =="" and i wanna look like them, all dolled up and glamorous, coz i suck in photoshop, and that explains my lack of glam in my camwhore picz uhhhuuuuu....~)

and then something like this came up from Taufu:

and me playing along coz i obviously have nothing better to do juz like her. abandon project alpha a lil while.

ok u figure out what that is urself.

and then i decided to try again......

even i myself think i am a complete noob in drawing. but hey this is msn!

Turning tooo-wen-teeeee

2010-05-10T08:34:00.002+08:00

and i sincerely hope u know what i meant.

and i happily celebrating that i'm typing in here once again. woohoo!!!!!

be gone 2nd year, welcome 20. all twos cheh. yeah on 2nd may i sorta freaked out like omfg am i actually gonna have a 2 in front of my damned age i dont want i dont want. i still wanna think i AM(in fact i felt i am still, ntg changes, my boobs are still small, my head is still all psycho[BOO!] and i still have short hair) forever 19. who wants 20 when u know u're all sweet and young. oops am i saying 20 is old and cranky?

come to think of it, when i was 12 years old(nostalgia nostalgia) i actually wondered what it'll be like to be 20..................................

so yeah, 20 is juz anthr great journey ahead!!!!! i sounded like a bitter person trying to un-bitter myself din i? XD

anyways being 20(i'm gonna keep repeating this until i get used to it) i made a list of what i think i am and am not:

that i am 20(rolls eyes)
that i am in love with shopping, reading, lady gaga, travelling, food and holidays
that i am so not in love with rapists, bimbos, wars, discrimination, animal abuse, studies, ugly music, acne and you(nah hahaha!)
that i am a family sorta gal.
that i am single and happy to be one.
that i am not a boring person. i consider myself funny and crazy!
that i am a great person to be with(+o+)
that i am pretty. oh yeah u think i'm lacking of things to write?
that i am a ridiculously LAZY blogger. i resumed this after 30 mins of Farm Town(in case u're in LaLa Land, this is a facebook game)
that i am not a fan of gore, horror, slasher, thriller, freddy krueger-typed, supernatural, violent movies. i even closed my eyes during a scene in "Ip Man 2" when Sammo Hung got pulped up by Twister and when the editor had his hand stomped by the chief officer. i like stuff like Up. thatz coz i have a fragile heart (boo again!)
that i am a good listener. yup, blif it anot, i have a gift not many ppl have. i listen more than i speak. although i can utter nonsense and annoy everyone to the max if i want to.
that i am wondering why this list is written. i think i am undefined.

i'm juz gonna stop having this list going on. duwan u guys to look into my thoughts so much (although whatever i've written is pretty trivial XD)

anyway, i spent 3/4 of my 20th burpday preparing and sitting for my last paper. then we were off to celebrate in Sushi Zanmai. me and my group of psychotic pals. pics were up in my facebook. check it up! after that, we went for bowling session, finally ended up watching mid night movie(ice kacang puppy love. not bad lah, considering aniu's 1st time in directing. he is one lucky guy, smooching lee sinjie all over) coz i was retaliating about not having enough fun XD

the next day, we went to sunway pyramid for ice skating(in my case, shopping.) after a while, a fren called up and said he gave up skating so joined the shopping crew instead. next, we hit Red Box and scream our lungs out on every song(yup our voices were enough to make Simon Cowell sent off to hospital for noise toxication). all of us were left hoarse voiced and i reckoned we gotta start using sign languages to communicate soon. after karaoke session, we went for dinner at Dragon-i. got lengzai waiter man!!!!!!! my hawk-like eyes are utilized for this, mind u. whenever he served us, he always did that with a tiny smile. awwww i want to keep ordering more food! or better still, work there. he was way hot, with black uniform and a dragon motive at his back. *drools all over my dumplings"

on 3rd day, JJ, MF, YT and i went to malacca. yup, no sign of slowing down. we were going everywhere after exams! there were no proper plans, we juz simply asked around ppl how to get there and stuff, that's all. malacca was swelteringly hot!!!!!! the moment we stepped there, we never stopped sweating. got a budget hotel near mahkota parade. and then we were off to many historical places, did Titanic pose at the ship(pics at facebook again!), went to Jonker Street for the yummylicious cendol, had the very very nice new production of durian puffs, had nyonya food and then guess what, went for night movie again at mahkota parade (Ip Man 2. only rm6!!!!) the cinema surprised me. although it's not GSC (it was smth called LFS cinema), it is huge, clean and cold! the seats are comfortable, no foul smells or seat bugs like i hinted to my pals. thumbs up!

one thing we all noticed about malacca is, the shops closed very early. esp in Jonker Street. some were not opened at all. mostly closed around 5.30pm-6pm. at night, there were so few cars u can actually sprawled on the road and rolled around happily. life was so slow-paced and peaceful and relaxing there. so much difference compared to the forever hectic and busy KL.

4th day it was time to say bye bye to malacca. got back to KL during the noon, slept and woken up by mom's call "when do u wanna come home?" XD my next door neighbour came in, saw me packing my stuff and said "yo, finally u're willing to go home liao hor." lol, i dun think so i've played enough lerrr....

celebrated mom's day yesterday at Siang Restaurant. it is a Chinese restaurant and they served great food! we had soft shell crabs with chicken floss, the super delicious tomyam squid in claypot with mushrooms, tuna fish in thai sauce, stir-fried chicken with kerabu and the complementary lou-wong-kua soup. no pics available coz ur dear suyuen kept filling her tummy without realising about taking pics to share with u. but it is highly recommended! highest floor at Sogo shopping mall. the mall sucks anyway, juz go for the food ok. mom's birthday is coming soon in anthr 2 more days wtf i haven't got her anything yet. any ideas?

oh i'll post my birthday pressies soon ! wanna get back to my game. tatazzz!!!!

HOLA!!!!!!!

2010-03-22T23:03:00.003+08:00

YES!!!!!! finally i'm blogging. AGAIN!!!! woohoooo~~!!!!! happy anot happy anot? alaaaa i know u are la, dun fake fake anymore. if not, blah like i care!

So yeah, what am i gonna say? actually i have lotza things to tell ya. but due to the much hectic life and plus the laziness and sleepiness in me now, sorry but u juz gonna get the summary of it.

MPA1 has ended. finally. PHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. it was a world of chaos during that period. the process is chaotic, people in there are chaotic, i am chaotic, the whole thing is chaotic. there were moments of joy, moments of heart attacks and nevertheless, i still learn alot in the end of the day. there's so much about mpa1 i cant summarize in here. all i can say is that i actually broke down after the event. can't imagine i shed tears (plenty!) for it. ok not that i wasnt satisfied, it's juz that i wished it could be better. but ppl always said, there is ntg that comes in 100% perfect. if there is, then there's no point of learning.

wait. does that mean i care for what i'm handling? lol, yes!

anyway, i enjoyed going to bed at 4am everyday for 2weeks, with only 2hours of sleep in between b4 going to class, enjoyed falling asleep in class, enjoyed feeling lost and robotic due to lack of sleep, and even enjoyed more the torture i felt because i had two killer papers few days after mpa1, with nothing but air in my brain to sit for the exam. It wasnt easy, going through the 2 papers with an extremely tired mind and soul. i've never felt so horrible and fucked up in my whole life during that period.

and yeah, i got into depression after the 2nd paper. It overpowered me that day. den, right after all the thoughts of suicide, i felt damn cold. thought i was going to die and i half wished so. i got a fever. roommates came back, saw me all wrapped up in blankets with the fan switched off and it was a very sunny day. i skipped my english class coz i was so ill i cant even move an inch off my bed. thank god for my angelic roommate, she got me some hundred plus, i got some nice sleep, which is such a tranquilizer by the time i woke up, i no longer felt depressed. no longer felt sick. i felt so much calmer. falling sick due to exam pressure may seem the reason, but tiredness is what i felt all that time. now i know y ppl said lack of sleep can lead to bad health.

anyway, let's stop all the rantings. did u know i won VIP passes to Earth Hour party at Zouk?????

O
M
F
G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i thought i could juz try my luck when the deejay said the 9th person to send in their details will get the pass. and voila, the next moment after he said he'd give a call to the winner, my fon rang! it was my 1st time listening to my voice on air too lolx.....

i am going to Zouk for a PARRRRTTTEEEEYYYYYYYY~~~~~!!!!!!!! i guess. kakakaaaaa

and i AM SO happy for my bestie recently: she had a really big crush on this guy at her college lolxx. aint no revealling her name, later u guys stalk her hmph. it's great listening to her gushing bout that chap, how she always hoped to bump into him in library and stuff. how she stalks him. how she notices his every move. it kinda makes me think of my past, where i used to like some particular guys and even plotting some stupid tactics in order to get him notice me (one involving toothpaste and toothbrush. bestie, u laughing now? kakakaaaaaaa) awwwww... the past. when i was still a silly gal with so many girlish ideas. aint i not now? not really. to be honest, i kinda envy bestie actually. it's been so long ever since i like someone. i mean, i still love seeing good-looking hunks and those thing, but somehow i'm juz like "yeah, he's handsome. anything else?" i no longer have that kinda....feelings. i dunno whther u got my meaning anot. it's like i have remained a stony heart for quite a long period of time. i no longer have all those silly lil crushes on guys anymore, no matter how good-looking or how nice he is or how perfect gentleman he is. to be able to have feelings for someone, to like someone, it seems to have died down inside me.

but i am happy to know at least i am not desperate for such thing. i have my priorities, and i have my own criteria for the guy i will fall for. at least i am not those types who got themselves so upset during break-ups, and then not long later, date some other people, and making their statement clear "i am not single after all." and then flaunting their new asset everywhere they go. juz like paris hilton and her cute chihuahua~~

"hey i'm paris, and this is my tinkerbell. aint he cute????"

"yeah i know. i must have him by my side all the time. that's y i bring him along where ever i go. u like it, dun u?"

tinkerbell looks sad. u're squeezing him too tight, paris! give him some air plz or else he might run away

Yeah whatever. happy for u again bestie. lolxxx..... and what's the best thing to end this post? it's good night, peeps...... !!!

ZOUK PARTY!!!!!!!!!!! *heartz*

Angel's Voice =)

2010-01-23T21:13:00.002+08:00

If i have a wish, it is to have him in front of me in person, singing to me my most favourite song by him: Ru Guo Wo Bian Chen Hui Yi (If i Became A Memory)

and part of it is granted today!!!!!! i am so H.A.P.P.Y!!!!

Today, there was an award show organised by Myfm in Genting Highlands. Tank was nominated for the best romantic song award. i was watching this through television anyway. and kept my fingers crossed and prayed hard that he'd win. and yes, he did!!!! omg i was so ecstatic i even stood and clapped for him(was in the restaurant, but who cares i'm his big big fan!!!!). after finishing his speech, he sang part of the song.

and a few secs later............... my phone rang

"Hello buddy! can u hear me?" (behind very noisy, and he was shouting through the line)

"yeah, i think so. but u need to speak louder!" (i shouted back)

it was my junior buddy. all the way from....

"Buddy, i'm in $%@*^& now!" (reception damn bad, cant hear where he was)

as i was "Har, i cant hear u!!" all the time, i heard something. something that almost brought me to tears.

i heard Tank's voice at the noisy background.

"OMG!!!! buddy, i heard him!!!!!!"

"haha, finally. yeah that's him. live from Genting for u."

i can tell u, that really makes my day. after one whole week, this really brings me great deal of joy. thank u buddy! u're such a considerate thing lol. din know u still remember me liking that song arigatou! listening to tank through the phone is million times better than seeing him on tv. i felt he's really that near to me. thanks for the call. thank u =)

SUPPORT TANK!! ur songs, talent and voice can bring hopes to ppl like me. i wish u the best. take care of ur health and continue to make wonderful music =)

Rojak Fruit

2010-01-22T00:43:00.002+08:00

today.......

dunno what to say

happy. yeah
conned. yeah
missing someone. yeah
angry. yeah
disappointed. yeah
challenged. yeah
chasing for the impossible. yeah
dilemma. yeah
think too much. yeah

haiz. all feelings mixed up like rojak buah. i think i'm losing it.

2010 is a roller coaster and it's only January.

do i have what it takes to finish this ride? hope so.

Friends For Laughs Only?..?

2010-01-18T16:14:00.002+08:00

Something's bugging me very much when i'm blogging this. and it has been bugging me too since this morning. i remembered once when a junior confessed to me a trouble of hers, she said this: do u have a true fren now in uni? i dont have, u see. when i was in secondary skul, i used to have. we shared almost everything. but now in matric, i realise i have nobody at all. or rather, i cant depend on anyone anymore.

and with that i replied: it's what life is all about.

and now i can truly believe what i said. or shud i not? it seems so harsh that in this place, what friends actually mean is ppl who u juz hang out with, and ppl who laugh with u. but to cry with u? think about it.

u see, i have this group of friends who i'm very close with. well sort of, or juz maybe a bit, i dunno. whatever happened today seem to let me doubt my relationship with them. i dont wanna talk about what led me to doubt them, but i juz wanna confess that, dont ever take me for granted. for one thing, i am NOT a cnn. i dont have an antennae attached to my head, or a satellite that floats around PJ detecting all the information. and i hate to say this, i really really despise ppl who come to me and tell me "i thought u shud know so-and-so" or "i thought miss who-and-who has informed u" or whatever crap that starts with I THOUGHT. look, u guys are my frenz, i'm not gonna be hard on u or hurt u intentionally through this post (if any of u are reading this). i juz want u to realise that in being a human being, it's not juz about u. does it kill u to juz send a msg of what shud be done, or what shud be worn on a photography session, or what shud be brought for next day's lesson? i mean, whether i already knew it or not is another business (or rather a business of mine) but if u think it is right to inform me, i'll be happily and gratefully to thank u! i ain't gonna scold u or tell u off for giving me same info, u see. a human being, esp if u call urself a friend, shud take notice of all these. it's not juz about u, like i said b4. sometimes i wonder y i have to think so much for others when i can simply choose to ignore. no, bcoz i'm not such person. i know, for some reason, that eventhough we might not be that close, we have to help others, tel them whatever they need to know, lend a hand whenever they need it, be proactive eventhough they didn't ask for it. it makes me feel good for not being self-centred and selfish. maybe u guys are not what i described, but u guys really really truly desappoint me today. the reason i am sad is not bcoz i'm having any family troubles or what, it's bcoz of u all. my friends. ppl who i care alot. and they have disappoint me. if this is de first time, i can forgive and forget. but i've met many ppl with the phrase "i thought...." and that's y when it was my friends who do it to me, i crumble. some of u are juz too ignorant for this. and u might think i am such a whiney to get upset over such issue, but i tell u what, this really matters alot to me.

i dont need u guys to feel sympathetic, or giving me a shoulder pat, or promising me empty words. i am a very simple person , with juz simple wish from u. i will continue to care for all of u, continue my way of helping others. i juz wish u guys will not take me for granted. dont ever assume anything in life. not juz for me, but for others. bcoz ur assumptions might lead u to things u wish will never happen. this is juz a small issue, but in the future, u might face something worse than this. for those who're ignorant, u know who u are and i'm not gonna pursue about it. i don't mind u treating me such way, but please for ur sake, learn to be someone who not only think for urself, but the ppl around u. esp those u call as friends. u need them, and they need u.

family, yeah right. sharing. yeah right. for now i cant look into these two terms. i juz hope i can find a way to forgive and forget.

ps: the photography session today, i've missed it. was in the elective class. i dunno whether any of u notice it anot. i dont expect much from u guys either.

disappointing....................................

Random Part 2

2010-01-10T23:10:00.002+08:00

u know what, college projects are always worth joining for experiences and the joy of meeting new ppl. however, sorry to say this, but i've never heard or seen or experience anything stupider than DONATION DRIVE. it is basically an activity which insults a human's intelligence and abilities. and for the many reasons of it, i still dont understand y our uni can permit the students to have a life of a beggar on the streets. trust me, if i have to do it again in the future(i mean donation drive), i'll rather swallow live eels.

donation drive itself is horrific enough, what really make me ultimately unhappy was the fact that some people who have more responsibility in marketing is not around to beg with us. pathetically there are only 9 of us that day. and so i thought one of them should be the manager for marketing. but she was not there. busy for something only she knows. a very quick and easy excuse actually, ppl with no common sense can also say that. all she has to do is to wait patiently and happily for us to bring back the money and business cards for her, us bearing the humiliation. anyway, we went to somewhere, a market actually, where ppl are busy shopping for their groceries, butcher chopping meat away, the stench was unbearable, someone beside me advised us to put on a smiley face when approach them for donation, aunties with grumpy looks passing by with trolley bags, uncles puffing cigarettes and reading newspaper, not one of them looked as if they're ready to hand in some cash for us. and so we started going about the whole area, 'asking' for them to donate generously. the ugly truth is, they not only donate un-generously, also we got to see the colours of their faces. we ARE like beggars:

some happily ignored us even when we greeted them good morning at their face (check, we ignore beggars, and they dont greet us, that's a difference)

some said no before we can finish our 1st sentence (check, we do that when a beggar waved a cup in front of us and mumbled smth)

some wiped their hands after handing us RM1 (check, we know beggars can be filthy)

some said "oh no, asking for money again!" (check, some places, like St. Anne's church, have lots of beggars)

some gave us a piece of their minds, and never bother to donate. "u guys are like beggars! bringing down the name of ur uni!" (check, even the public thinks we are beggars, is ther any more to say? only beggars dont have any uni name to be brought down, that's anthr difference)

some give unforgivable excuses not to donate, when there are lots of grocery bags on the floor (check, we do that too when ppl begs for money or to buy their goods)

when it was almost time for us to gather, i was totally buffed. i cannot imagine y i ever land myself in that situation. y do i ever go begging for smth, esp where money is concerned? y do i get myself humiliated in such way? y did i give up on my saturday for a crap like that? y?????? bcoz of responsibility? that we need enough funds and me, as a bureau manager myself, has to be part of it? y is there a thing called donation drive in the 1st place? y bring down our morality juz for a college project? y rob our own pride juz for it? someone said this: get more funds, then we can have a better feast after the project.

what? did u juz say feast? no i dont want to get more money from begging juz to have a nicer feast!!!! what's the difference of that with a beggar!!!???? i mean a beggar begs for food and clothes, and we beg bcoz we want better feast (which is also food). if we could juz be modest with the feast, we can actually save the trouble and humiliation from donation drive.! it was my roommate who pointed this out. and thank god she did, now i finally see the whole horrible picture of it, and it upsets me even more.

after that day, i was so affected with misery i din even appear cheerful when celebrating my friend's birthday. my pals thought i was sick or smth. i rather be sick than to feel awfully beggar-like. i was so devastatingly miserable i even took the KTM back home, which is a last minute decision. i juz couldnt stand the sight of college and the awful things it can offer me.

maybe some ppl enjoyed it, some thinks i'm being unfair to say such things in this post, but for me, this is juz so unnatural. it is not normal, esp if the public criticize us. if ever there's anthr fund-raising again, i'm gonna splurge my own money out, even if i have to go penniless for next few weeks. bcoz no amount of money could have buy back my pride, which is half robbed that day.

I BAN DONATION DRIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random

2010-01-08T19:10:00.002+08:00

blogging this out of the blues. this week's been such a tiring week for me
and frustrating
things juz dont run smoothly, do they?
no matter how i try to make everything perfect,
somehow there must be a twist and
force me to change plans.
and i tell myself to start studying, get a grip of myself
sem2 has really started and dont deny it anymore,
yet i'm still blogging here.
ok i promise to do it after this post.

First, the registration really give me headaches i even dreamt of it yesterday night.what really happened was, i registered for an elective that clashes juz a lil bit with my timetable. but it is settled now as the lecturer has been really nice enough to put me in another group of different time so that i can catch my breath and have some lunch before class. (elective's in Linguistik faculty, that's 15mins walk!) but umisisweb stopped me from registering as it computerize the timetable. so i've been meeting the dept's office everyday, asking them about the situation and all they tell me is "terus cuba daftar. sebab kita sudah hantar surat ke SKR untuk remove timetable dalam umisisweb, tapi mereka belum ada response."

so finally, after so much of worries and fumes about how inefficient the SKR is, i called them today and talked to the person in charge with the registration. that fella told me it was my pharmacy dept now that's not updated with the info they sent. and accused them for not reporting this to SKR early.

WTF?????? pointing fingers at each other when things go wrong, is that what u only know how to do? anyway, i dun care what they say. i juz want some solutions. and he told me to have my subjects registered manually. to avoid being fined, get the office to do for me.

ok. juz hope that's what will happen soon. if i have to pay rm50 for smth that's not my fault, i'll make the office pay for me.

still, i felt recently i've become more matured. lol, i know it sounded horny la but i know myself better k. i stepped on the grounds more firmly nowadays, tackle things myself better, hold my responsibilites which are meant for me. i guess it's because of all the things i've gone through for the previous months, see how others carry themselves and not crumble over petty things. they grow up, i'm growing up, this is what life is about. i want to be a role model for myself and for others too. yes, not trying to be mushy or what, i think it's everybody's dream to be one.

there's still something i need to learn, which is to get used of being away with my loved ones. i'm starting to miss my family dy. the news of me cant go home this weekend really devastate me so much i lost my gutsy way this afternoon. ok i know i have no rights to say this coz some ppl cant even be back home for months and i consider myself lucky, yet this is part of my routine. i spent a week in college, burdened with all the troubles and worries and work, home is juz a way for me to relax and forget everything. i admit, i'm not so in love with my college life, i dont stick much around here, i juz need to get away from here once a week. get away from seeing the faces i see everyday, get away from the college food, get away from the busy life of college and uni, get away from my troubles and stress, and most important thing is, to spent time with my family for as long as i live. sometimes i think over this:

is it worth for me to continue staying here? some ppl grow to lurve this place so much, but i've been here for almost like 3sems. which means 1 year plus. and yet i felt ntg from here. no warm feelings at all. i dun mean to be cold or what, i have very nice roommates and floormates who i laugh, talk, joke, play and sleep with. i have friends around college, and they're all nice to me too. i busy myself with college activities, get to know more ppl, adapt to independent life. in the end, all i felt is not contentment. i fell into depression and emo whenever i'm alone in my room. i felt distance from laughter and merriness. i need to hear voices. ppl speaking to me. when the lights are turned off, lying on my hard bed, there's not a sense of comfort at all. all i think about is the stressful college and uni life. sometimes, i cry myself to sleep and wake up with puffy eyes the next morning. but this is what i did last time, i dun do that much now unless i really feel sucked up that day. that's what i meant by growing to be a more matured person now.

i aint complaining, staying here has given me convenience, sweet memories, happy moments too. juz that the feeling of being lost is always felt whenever i'm here. i dunno, maybe i'll leave next year, maybe i'll stay and continue to find my comfort spot here. i dont hate here, but i dont lurve it either. only empty feelings, that's all.

owh, btw a good fren of mine has juz started dating lolx. really happy for h aer, and we're gonna celebrate it tomorrow. my gang and coursemates are really teasing them alot about dating. i'm trying to prevent myself from doing so. their awkward looks whenever we tease them, i know how it felt like. and i hate to be in that situation too. so i aint placing myself into the group of ppl who talk and laugh about it. i'm not gonna talk much about it either, it's not gonna change anything.

and i got a feeling someone's blocked me from MSN. whatever la. like i care.

Christmas Buffet =)

2009-12-25T17:57:00.002+08:00

yooohooo~~~!! went for a Christmas Promotion Hi-Tea at Grand Seasons Hotel just now. The food were awesome!!! among the highlights were roast turkey stuffed with the chef's special recipes and lamb cutlet. and about 80 more other dishes including yummy desserts. yumz!! we were all filled up to the edge of our throats and were all knocked out the moment we reached home, except me of course, coz i'm still blogging here. i'm a Supergirl!

ok since i'm so free and have nothing to do, let me share a few tips when having buffet and making ur money worth every single penny. i thought about it during the meal. lolx.

This is very important. dont go for a buffet if u're a light eater, or a bulemic.
Keep ur stomach empty b4 going for buffet. dont worry u wont be deprived of any food there. it's enough for u to go hibernating after the course.
Dont start ur meal with RICE! omg u eat that almost the whole of ur life. u dont want to get urself filled up b4 u get to devour other more delicious food. go for those u seldom have, like lambs, turkeys, scallops, mussels etc.
Take everything u can reach in small portion. try 1st, if nice only go back for more. then u dont have to waste any food in this case.
Always save the best for the last =)
Dont attack the food like u've never seen food b4. =="" be patient and relax, coz they'll always refill if almost empty.
Take ur fruits only when u've almost finished. This will make ur stomach bloat and u can hardly eat anymore after it.
For desserts, if u're not a sweet-toothed, avoid taking large portion. as i said, prevent food wasting and u can even reduce sugar level. whatever.
Enjoy buffet with those who can eat like a cow too. it's pretty inconvenient if u join a couple of friends or relatives who are on diet and stuff. they might leave when u're halfway through ur favourite dish.
Sit back and relax after it. u'll see what i mean =)

lolx, hope this helps. am talking lotza crap lately. btw i'm so addicted with Facebook's game (FarmTown) recently. i took almost 2 hours blogging this, thanks to it. XD

gotta go now. ciaoz

Quick Update Xmas

2009-12-25T12:09:00.002+08:00

Merry Xmas!!!!!!

My pressies were AWESOME this year!!!! omgggg!!!! will upload photos soon, yay!

Welcoming New Year too soon XD

2009-12-24T10:41:00.005+08:00

whakakkakkakaaaaaaaaa Merry Xmas Eve to everyone!!!!!!

Jingle bells jingle bells falalalala~~!!!

been in a real happy mood since yesterday lolx. that's y i take the initiative to blog about it. good things must share ma.

first, christmas is coming, means unwrapping presents coming soon! not that i din know what my present is, but the FUN of christmas always jig me up! ngek ngek~

then it was Avatar movie which really rockx, and i darn mean it. if u havent watch it, then better hit the cinemas as soon as possible, it's one movie i find worth watching after a long while, besides 'Transformers' and 'Up'. watched its trailer few months back and i swore to myself that i really must watch the movie itself and i must say, James Cameron has done it once again, exploiting his mastermind for anthr great movie after the legendary "Titanic". The characters and graphic settings are so convincing u really can believe that they exist for real, as what millions of ppl have claimed for its incredulously breathtakingly awesome CGI-ed effects. though i have to say that there's nothing much to shout about(according to the reviews in The Star) since its release takes place at this era with movies like Transformers and 2012 taking away some of the limelight, and will look better if it is produced few years back, still i give it double thumbs up! (and include my two toes up as well, Avatar deserves it!). I just wanna watch it all over again. perhaps 3D this time. eek, this is the 1st time i ever have the feeling to watch a movie for a second time. bring it on! who has no partner to watch with, call me!!

And i'm so in luff with Jake Sully's avatar omg!!! he's Jakesully(pronounced jek-su-li) and gosh, y does Cameron have to make him look so gorgeous even when he's all blue! lazy-looking eyes and the mischievous grin and all hawt when handling machine guns, i loveeeee him more than Jake Sully himself omggg!!!!!! i even have his beautiful face as my desktop wallpaper lolxx

see!!! all HAWT and HANDSOME!!!!

ok b4 i pledge my eternal love to Jakesully (James Cameron, how dare u play with a gal's heart!!) better stop gushing and proceed. 1st sem's results were out too (at last!) and i passed everything, wippieessss! even dare to say i think i did fairly well too and my grades improved alot compared to last sem lolx. not trying to boast or what, but i am so proud of myself.(considering the level of difficulty, number of subjects *9!!*, and amount of palpitations and breakdowns) u dont like what i said, den dont read this blog. everyone was happy for me yesterday and was especially chatty (love them alot) mom even said she'll give me a treat to seafood soon!! my FAVOURITE!!!!

in the car that night, we talked about almost everything, including Avatar.(XD) one went like this:

me: Pa, go watch Avatar leh (hopeful for a 2nd round of drop-dead awesome Jakesully)

mom: eh how they know that u are buying tickets for ladies price ah? (since wednesday is Ladies night in TGV, tix are cheaper, and i went with my sis)

me: do we look like guys?

*sis laughing her head off*

apparently she meant something else but it's irrelevant for this post.

two days ago, bumped into Panda coincidentally in Mid Valley (she's working there, i'm shopping for Xmas Gifts) and we were all huggy in public lol. i mean, i really miss that gal, man! been such a long time since i saw her. lurve u to bits, babe. she looked so different! with those makeup and new hairdo and formal clothes, i almost couldn't recognise her until she gave me a reaction that she knows me too, only i lunged towards her. chatted about the ol' stuff and catching up with each others' lives. i 1 her to bring me go clubbing soon. yay!

life's looking pretty good lately. Things like this make me happy, i guess i'm just a simple girl after all =)

New Year's coming, new term is just around the corner. i'll continue to work hard, strive for the best and make everyday worth living. i promise!!

wishing u a Merry Merry Jingly Christmas!!!!!~ *winkz*

Another Christmas is here....

2009-12-20T17:25:00.003+08:00

some update since i have so much of free time for me to laze around and start thinking lots of things, like i said christmas is coming and i've came up with several resolutions. ok, u make these during New Years which are normally blissfully ignored (yeah i did, so?) and then carry on with ur life, getting ready for another new year and make a whole new list again. gosh. who created resolution this concept? =.=""

so for this christmas(and also the new year) i am gonna:

be nicer to people (yes, i'm not exact perfect. but dun get the idea that i've never been nice to anyone. i said nicER)
be more cautious with my speech and action. at this point, seriously, u cant blurt out anything as u like anymore without having someone to judge and hate u.
be a more filial daughter. stop making ur parents worry by giving them unnecessary calls in the mid of their dinners some nights, dang!! ok maybe this doesnt consider as unfilial, but whatever la.
care more about people, less about me. this is gonna be hard. hmm... hey i'm not the only one acting like this ok.
get a grip of myself. do i really need to quit something i like just bcoz i dun wanna face someone who i have ntg to do with anymore? nah...
stop being self-conscious and take matters personally
cut down some weight!!!!!! whakakaka i've been saying this for years until it sounded like a slogan to me now
get a nice bronze skin. yes maybe i'll start hanging out at some beach next sem break and have myself tanned. is this consider as a resolution anyway?
do something different for my 2oth birthday(omg, old dy!!!!! i refuse to get old!!!) like maybe hitting the clubs. *somebody from somewhere: what u never go clubbing b4, and u're living in KL!* whatever..

the list is still counting but i dun think i wanna blog much about it lah. got better things to do. oh did i mention 2nd semester's starting soon? wont be blogging this rate anymore i guess, coz i can actually smell life's gonna be like explosive bombs soon. really busy like the bombs come flying at ur face, 1 avoid also cannot. stupid comparison.

talking bout bombs, i had this scary dream few nights ago...

i was in afghan, walking at this deserted street with some kids in front of me where they suddenly looked down and exclaimed "my leg is gone!" coz they stepped on some landmines. so i was really careful i even squatted down walking as to check thoroughly on the ground for the mines, and the whole night passed with me reaching my secondary skul (which was also in afghan, and i never study there in my entire life) still searching and careful on not stepping on bombs. finally there was a van which would fetch us back to my hometown, but seats were limited. and i started walking real fast to the van, meeting many uni mates along the way and when i finally arrived there, the last seat has just been taken, and the person was waving at me......

k thats all, thanksforreadingbye

YAWNNNNNN

2009-11-29T17:36:00.001+08:00

guess what, i dreamt that i failed all my papers except English.

aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

scared!!!!!
scared!!!!!
scared!!!!!

and i cant go to ipoh with buddies dy, coz it clashed with land of eagles.

alamak.........

Pharmacist and Wong Kok

2009-11-24T17:03:00.003+08:00

so mpa1 camp is over. what's next on the agenda?

IPOH!!!!!! woohooo~~!!!!!

lurve holidays so much. lalala~~

so anyway, today i was reading my Empress Orchid and then mom suddenly stood right in front of me with the freshly laundered clothes, and said smth reli flattering:

"ehh, i've come to a conclusion where pharmacists are mainly pretty girls."

*put my book down, and beamed at her*

"juz now i went for body check up and then the pharmacists at the counter reli very leng lor. got 1 gal, she looks a bit like u. with big eyes, her bob hair like urs, but she pinned her fringe up..(quickly pushed mine to the back and flashed my smile) yaya exactly laidat. and her other fren has long hair which is tied up."

"en lo.. here already got 1 example liao ma. but too bad lengzai obviously don't go for such career."

"yaya.... i guess they have to face the public, so they gotta look good."

i think i could yodel with those statements whakakaaaaaa.

and i SWEAR to god's name that i'll NEVER EVER enter WONG KOK CHAR CHAN TENG ANYMORE!.....!!!!

1st, we were served by a waitress who has no proper manners at all. she came around, looking hasty. and then mom asked her smth about sausage. she looked blur, asked loudly in mandarin:

"sausage? shen me sausage!?"

mom looked at us, asked us what sausage is in mandarin. no response. sis thinking hard, me obviously din have enough mandarin skills to tell what sausage meant.

the waitress started to get impatient and then looked at me:

"shen me sausage? what is ur mommy talking about?"

erm, are u supposed to ask a customer laidat? there is no respect at all. what if we are not asians and some caucasians walk in and mention sausage to u, are u gonna ask the other caucasian to tell u? i dont even wanna look at her, coz, omg for manner's sake, she has bad breath!!! i cannot stand bad breath!! she was standing, i was sitting, and her foul odor can even reach my pityful nostrils.!!

finally, when she got what we meant, we gave her the number for the food.

mom: ok, i want 416.

waitress: alright 417.(notice this: it is 7, not 6)

mom: har? er, i want 416. this 1. *point to illustration*

waitress: ya la 416 la!! i said 416 juz now!

mom: aiya... i old dy ma...

later, we told mom that all of us heard that waitress said 417. walao!! she was the one who made mistake, den still wanna argue. anyway, so what even if she's right? she should not say things like "well i told u so!" and made as if the customer should apologize for their mistakes.

horrible waitress. wait till u see the thing they called as food.(see the word "thing" i used means i dun know what they actually served.)

It is something called "banana pancake."

so i thought it is gonna be like roti pisang or those delicious pancakes i had in cameron highlands whenever i went there. and it is highly recommended by the i-dunno-what-sausage-is-and-what-ur-mother-is-talking-about waitress.

and it turned up at my table looking like this:

this is how it looked like after i stirred and flipped and dug around for some corners i felt was edible. looking at the portion of it, means i din see any. it had sooo much of cheese in it (and not like those cheese u find on pizzas, it is flowing like mushroom soup. ewwwwweeeeewwww!!!!), loads of onions which i friggingly hate alot(is that y the waitress loves it? and the reason she has bad breath?), and NO sign of bananas at all. i saw a teeny weeny bit of the banana, tasted it and ended up gulping lotza water coz all i could taste is the yucky cheese and the yuckier onions. mom was away at the time that thing arrived to dapao our fave milo toast. she called:

"hey, ur pancake arrived liao ah?"

"ya. and i cannot bear eating it. it is beyond horrible." probably if u give it to a starving beggar also he might just sniffed it and threw it away.

and so, i abandoned the whole crap. with a notice:

"NO GOOD!! HORRIBLE!! DON'T LET ME SEE THIS AGAIN. PS: YOUR WAITRESS IS NOT SO FRIENDLY AND DOESNT KNOW WHAT SAUSAGE IS. =( "

after we left, we saw the lousy waitress looking at the notice and then her other colleagues also came around. ya, ofcoz she needs them to help her read. coz if she doesnt understand simple english, she definitely doesnt know how to read simple English too. we're not mean. merely pitied other customers and wanted them to improve. lolzzzzz....

PEA IS NOT ONLY A FOOD, IT IS ALSO A BRAIN

2009-11-20T12:30:00.004+08:00

U know how some ppl are born with pea-sized brain?

i dun care if this post hurt anyone's feelings or make the whole world hates me, coz i'm reli very unhappy with these pea brain ppl.

being a PP is reli not ez, esp if u ended up selecting an AJK who can give u the worst nightmares. what about getting someone who confidently presented himself during the interview, accepted ur offer fast enaf the moment u told him he's selected, and then u never hear from him anymore? i've sent numerous msg, wasting my time and money, telling him about meetings and camps and dedications and stuff, and not once he replied me. i have to personally find him and chase him around for smth all the time. hey, come on who's pp and who's ajk?? so we have this camp on saturday, and i told him long time ago to confirm he's going anot and yet he still din reply. since it's compulsory for everyone, i registered his name as well. during ajk meetings for the camp, i called him like mad and he din pick up my call. i know tat fucking bastard is avoiding my call. even if he din mean to avoid, at least if he's seen my miss call, he could at least msg me back or smth. juz need to tell me his excuses of not attending. and MPA1's dedication been given to him long time ago, he still din manage to sell them. ystdy i called him personally, asking him when is he gonna pass me the dedication money and wat to bring for the camp. u know what that motherfucking bastard told me?

"Camp, what camp? now i'm back home."
"oh ok, there IS a camp tmr. when are u coming back to coll?"
"coll? no i'm not coming back to coll anymore. sem dah habis dah."

WHAT!!!!!!

"so, maksud u, u takde pergi camp la?"
"yah, i tak pergi. saya rasa mau quit la."
"kenapa?"
"sebab banyak project la i tak boleh manage."
"erm, itu bincang kemudian. bye."

he wanna quit when the MPA1 dedication money is still with him and camp is somewhere in the corner and MPA1 has not even started yet? can u believe this???? how dumb can all these ppl be? dumb is not a good word to describe this fella. he's mere a hopeless daft who doesnt have enaf brain cells to keep him as a normal human being. is alot of projects sound convincing? no i dun think so. if u know u have so many projects and u're plain busy, y choose to accept it in the 1st place? wanna show u're reli good and then in the end only ended up like a loser? and y choose to quit MPA1 instead of any other projects? i'm not shallow ok, i have more brain cells than u do. MPA1 is an established college project and u're selected for smth in u, not because of ur kacang sized brain. so now i think if u reli wanna quit, i'll be happy to chuck u off my bureau coz obviously i cannot tolerate ppl with no brains. no more wasting my time and my money. go busy with ur other projects and hopefully the other unlucky PPs who have u in their bureau will survive with such goddamningly lousy AJK like u.

good luck to those who's managing MUHD HAFISZULLAH, he's 1 AJK u'll find happy to work with. oh btw, if u think he's capable to handle whatever work u give him, think twice o. he might do the same to u in the future. dun say i never advise u.

LALALA.....

2009-11-11T17:27:00.003+08:00

hoot hoot, suddenly i got the mood (which is soooo rare) for blogging today. left 3 more papers to go, and this actually cheers me up a bit. (yeah, i've been living a life of a deranged zombie for the past few weeks, it's a miracle i still know how to type in english)

so what i'm gonna talk is, anything. if u hate me or this blog or juz couldnt bear to face another boring post of the day, u may juz click the lil X button on the top right of ur computer screen now.

...

....(checking on nails)

...

ok so basically u are interested with my sordid affairs.

u know, (no i dunno) yesterday i was having a 3-hour chat with my BFF about almost everything, from uni life to exams to bitching to iphones and whatever u can think of. then she started to mention about her being..:

vonz: yaya, i ben lai also very cute 1 la but cuteness cant land me with a guy in Armani suit driving a Lamborghini also

me: lolz. Being pretty like me also still cant land myself with a guy who has private jets and holiday homes in Miami la.

vonz: how ar how ar?

me: erm, let's go lelong ourselves whakakaa

vonz: ok. let's try ebay. with statement of goods sold are not refundable

me: huh, laidat ar? later ppl duwan buy lor coz the terms and conditions apply (check: armani suit, lamborghini, private jets and holiday homes) will frighten them only ler.

yeah whatever.

anyway, let's stop talking bout boys.

there's this book i'm currently reading it is called 'Empress Orchid'. hold on while i google for the picture of it.

aha, what stress for exam, still got time read storybooks. nah i've only juz started it today. so basically, it's about this gal from the poorest province of china competed her way thru to bcum concubine bla bla bla seduce and have sex with the emperor and finally bear him a son. and with lots of power-hungry concubines trying to plot murders to make sure they get to the throne, leading to the downfall of some sort of dynasty.

yeah, it sounds so much like all those TVB hongkong drama like "War and Beauty". but this is a book ok. language used to describe a story is always much more beautiful. only a few pages of reading, and i've already love it! Anchee Min is reli good in her usage of sentences to picture a scene. i always appreciate those lil details of a writer's imagination. there was this part she described a character who dressed up magnificently but din seem to love taking baths. and she was infested with lice, scratching her armpits raw and crushing those creatures with her teeth.

ewwww..... lol.

and only den i knew an Emperor has about 3000 concubines fretting around the Forbidden City. some din even get to mate with him. urgh. rich guys are so limited during that times, i assume. that's y the gals were dying to get in there. coz even if they're ignored completely, they still get annual taels.

and i bet u know this, eunuch is always a castrated boy coz the emperor wished to be the only sole-seed bearer. lol that sounded so damn funny, but it's the exact words the author used. he din wanna have his sperms being replaced by someone else. sweet.

am gonna continue reading it after finishing my exams. argh!!

PS: leehom's Man in The Mirror is a must-listen!!!!!

PSS: see previous PS, kakaaa

ciaoz!! watching UK gladiators now. i'm soooo in love with Spartan. He's the exact guy i wanna marry. XD if u dunno what that is, u're basically living under the coconut shell.

MY MORTAL ENEMY

2009-10-29T18:15:00.002+08:00

I'M GONNA TYPE THIS IN CAPITAL LETTERS BECAUSE I'M SO

PISSED NOW

AND U KNOW THE ULTIMATE REASON WHY I

HATE FINALS SO FUCKING MUCH IS

IT STOPS ME FROM ATTENDING A BUFFET DINNER AT ARMADA HOTEL TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK IT, NOW I HAVE TO LIVE ON FRIED KUEY TIAW OR SOME STALE BREAD OR SOGGY VEGGIE FOR MY DINNER TOMORROW!

KILL ME PLZ. DO IT NOW, AND I'LL THANK U.

randomness

2009-10-20T14:12:00.002+08:00

i hate ppl who love posting all their pictures online and giv captions like "i have such big head" "look, pimples!" "how come my face so fat?" etc. if u know u're ugly, dun put it up lor, for beauty's sake. nobody's interested to measure ur head size or count ur pimples, so plz dun give ppl eyesores by posting those so-called pretty pics that u happily criticize.

watever. i dun normally thrash such thing but obviously, my mood is spoilt by the goddamn lousy college food today. recently juz gained back my appetite after previous sufferings of whatever nonsense the college provide us for meals. and now it was totally ruined again.

shit.

tonight's meeting with the mpa1 adhocs. gotta prepare wat i'm gonna say.

bye. class's postponed anyway. and it looks like it's gonna rain soon.

moody and hungry.

Another boring post out of the blues

2009-10-19T21:30:00.004+08:00

blogging this after fed up of looking into my immuno notes with no input at all. i should be working super hard now, come on!!! finals is coming omg, that's like about two more weeks, omg. seriously if i dun buck up i might as well juz tell the lecturer i couldnt bear sitting for the exam, it's gonna be a waste of paper.

haiz.. even when i was napping juz now, i thought i was reading my damn notes. but it was juz a frigging dream. see, it cant even let me have my rest, waduh...

and when i signed into msn, i dun see the person i wished to see. whatever la. not that the person will speak to me also. obviously he's too busy for ppl like me. whatever. like i care.

monday blues for me as usual. how come i always have to enjoy myself so much at home and then suddenly got slapped on the face with boring lectures and stupid tests. sien. i want to go for a vacation now. fuck exams. fuck finals.

and i skipped it again ystdy. i guess it's juz anthr consequence they have to face for the bad decision. read me. bad decision. sometimes( no, i mean everytime) i reli feel like quitting. it's juz not my thing to be involved. blame me for being irresponsible? nah, i know what and where and when i should be responsible. and for this, what can i say, sorry i'm juz not interested.

but how to approach them? i dunno. it guilts me to think about someone who has the trust on me, but somehow my heart is juz not into all these thing.

can i leave?

can i??

dunno. i should continue with my studies now.

Appreciation.....

2009-10-16T12:36:00.003+08:00

Juz read someone's blog post about her memories of her deceased dad and how much she missed him. it simply sent my tears flowing. her guilt of not visiting her ill dad coz of her exams, how her dad showered his undefined love to her and the family, his deep thoughts in protecting and keeping his family safe while he's no longer with them. It made me think of how i've been treating my family this whole 19years of living. am i a filial daughter so far? have i done things that made them proud so far, or am i just a parasite at home and in this society?

Humans only appreciate something when it's no longer with us. we tend to make mistake, hurt other ppl without realising, being stupid with ourselves. people always said i'm too dependent of my family, whenever i told them that my troubles and sadness and thoughts are only shared with my family, they told me that i'm such a mommy gal, daddy gal, family gal, etc. i can go to the extend to cancel all my plans and go home juz to be with them, celebrating each other's birthdays, anniversaries, sis's success in her projects and exams, dad's employment, mom's payment increase etc. there's ntg fucking wrong with it. my family is more important than myself. loving them means my whole life. the comfort i feel in it cannot be compared to anything or anywhere else in this world.

i have my way of appreciating these ppl, and i dont want to regret in the future for the times when i could have be with them and i din, when i could have hold my mom's hands but i din, when i could have listened to my sis complaining about her lousy teachers and bitchy frenz but i din, when i could have help my dad to make his cup of tea for him but i din.

i reli dont want to regret.

for the gal who misses her dad, stay strong. whenever u're crying under ur blanket at night, whenever u're looking back at the photos of u and ur dad sharing moments together, rmbr that he's not gone. he lives in u and ur family. he's alive wherever u are. close ur eyes and u'll feel his presence, keeping u safe and warm with his tender heart and spirit

2009-10-16T11:02:00.002+08:00

testing.. testing...1, 2, 3..

phew, it's soooooo dusty in here oh man~~!!! when i logged in and i saw the date i last updated here was 4th july. sorry bloggie, for abandoning u for so long time ==""

ok there's no way i can splurge everything out in 5months in a blog. being busy is part of my vocab for this sem, not including all the times when i procrastinated, gave excuses bout connection slow, laptop no battery, tired, haven't bathe, etc when in fact i'm juz too lazy to update in here.

whatever la.

so what am i so busy this sem?

life's pretty good lately. 2nd year is definitely a roller-coaster ride, no kidding. the moment u're going high up, u come down screaming ur head off. and being a senior has definitely some change in uni life. let's hear it from the mighty me.

starting of sem:
-MMP. organised the moral slot. at least i felt more spirited to start my new sem. kept myself busy is what i love, ignore assignments plz.

-pharmacy orientation. woohoo.. call me orientator suyuen. it went on 3weeks, we helping those new kids adapting to pharmacy. it felt a bit weird for me though, coz they're either older or same age as me, lolll....nevertheless, i've found myself a very chio lil buddy. (ps: i'm still the youngest in line, coz he's a few months older, whakaka... big buddy complained that her graduation next time will be full of small kids attending swttt.)

-3 pieces of adorable assignments. on the 2nd week!!! omg~~!! dun remind me about it, tq.

-tests after tests since 4th week. until today. every week, yeah. it would've taken all 9 lives of a cat

middle of sem:
- tests. i'm gonna type this word out till the end of this post.

-and this 1 too. assignments

- pharmily day. performed again this year =)

-cc interactive games. chaostic.

-mpa1. organising camp now =)

-pharmacy's COP. working under my big buddy. tension. whakakaaa

end of sem:
-found time for my bloggie. lolx. nah i've finally decided to do some justice for it, poor thing. and also to those following up my blog and complaining no updates. lalala~

basically that's what i've been up to.at least these are some things i remembered doing. and what has happened with the way i'm blogging, the words and ideas din seem to come up. swt. will do better in the next post. if there's one. coming up next, it's my finals. c u guys in another 1 month, perhaps lol.

oh yeah, am hoping to be able to make it to sarawak this coming sem hols. cant wait!

AZA AZA FIGHTING FOR COMING DAYZ!!!

2009-07-04T16:51:00.002+08:00

aww..... finally the teacher's day is over. marking de end of my two weeks of teaching =) let's start with our grand entrance into de hall. but for me, i was feeling super awkward. we walked into de hall with students at both sides staring and clapping for us. good thing for my dark skin, i was blushing so furiously i can feel burning hot sensation on my cheeks ==""

and i got to sit on the stage!!!! lolx now i know how it felt like to b up there and looking down to the many heads. coz i used to b with the crowd last time wat.... >< as usual the event started with all those anthem singing and finally, the part which i hate most most most: speech giving. during my school days my frenz and i chatted all the way thru the speeches. now being a teacher, i could only sit and day-dream and parayed the thing would end fast. but eheh i wanna bocorkan all the bad behaviours i observed on stage. i'm no longer the teacher of that skul wat so no need worry XD teachers talking with each other too. summor some laugh till so loud loud my mom also went "shhh!" and a teacher was caught dozing off. whakekekezzzz.

next was those performances and award giving. ok ok lar. ntg much special but consider quite entertaining for a secondary skul standard. they had dance, band, choir, chinese orchestra, a boy singing "sway with me" which i tink was the most successful performance of all (his moves and characters were soooo farnie haha and he got the crowd so high=D ), there was a drama too. a normal Cinderella story but their dialogues and way of executing were worth thumbs-up. and the funny boy was in there too lolx.

and i got gifts! can u blif that haha. well ofcoz i can expect it coz wat i heard from mom was the prefectorial board and some other clubs will prepare gifts for every teacher. i tink the main motive was to make sure no teacher go back empty handed, in case some of them can b reli unpopular among the students. mom, no doubt, received lots. i know she's very popular, and perhaps a good teacher as well. bravo, mom!!! she even got a starbucks coffee, hot and nice and ready to drink, omg i'm so envious! the students actually rushed out before the event started to get her a brew of it after she mentioned about how she thought mamak kopi is better than starbucks ^^ mom, i din know u are THAT good. kekezzz *hinting*

it ended around 11am. den we went over to Ancasa Hotel for buffet, juz for us teachers. cool!! de last time i actually joined these ppl was about 3 yrs ago, but i was not a teacher den. de food is average only la ntg special. we had spaghetti, mutton, salad, fish, puddings for dessert and wat else i cant rmbr. took some photos but not posted up here coz they were blur, kudos to my mom. ==""

met up with chrytzall after the buffet. my, we finally got to hang out after so many yrs not seeing each other and she has changed!!! alot.! new hairstyle and she even dyed it! nice, gal=) met a gal named Manni(dunno how to spell) who is fong's fren. we went to cineleisure to catch a Transformers movie. i aint gonna say much but 1 word to describe it: Awesome. *nods furiously and drools*

it was a great day. now i've done my job which i hoped i did it well, i'm so ready to go back uni and start my new life there. new sem, new challenges, new experiences, and with wat i've gained, will strive for better days=) finish packing all my stuff for tmr's registration. even after throwing so many rubbish away, my stuff still looked mountain-ish. grrr.... i'm capable in keeping craps. duh.

hey, i actually missed those kids ya know haha... thx to all of u for being so cooperative and sweet. ur jokes enlightened every lesson together. u've taught me new things and i hope i've implied smth in u too. at least i know ur version for AIDS and y the patients only get to live up to 4 days. it was a lame joke lorrr!!! XD and i love the way my bird looked like, no matter wat u say kakazzz...and i've got new frenz among u guys! yay i love it! plz keep in touch and dun forget to ask me out for yamcha and movies la k. kekezz *evil grin*

for my beloved students and i: gambatte-ne!!!!!!!

EWWW... LOOK AT URSELF IN THE MIRROR B4 APPROACHING PRETTY GALS K....

2009-06-30T22:10:00.003+08:00

i finally realised i have market around the old men too. was at popular yesterday. reading magazines while waiting for mom and sis for lunch. den suddenly tis reli slimy old man came around and asked, "u chinese or malay?" i looked at him and had him repeated 3 times only iunderstood wat he was asking. after telling him, he walked off and i tot case settled. den he came near me again and..

"today no school?"
"no"
"where did u study, wat name?"

ok u tink i'm a small lil gal talking to a stranger. but i always talk to strangers and ntg has happen to me so far. and i tot he was the manager of the store or smth trying to make some conversation coz i've been there for quite a long time.

and then.."ur fon number?" and took out his fon, ready to save those lil digits he was quite incredulously convinced i would give him. excuse me even if u have no ethics watsoever, at least ask may i have ur fon num. u're talking to a temporary moral teacher, for fon num's sake.

waved no nicely to him. and he kept his fon and walked off. swtttt i wonder wat he saw in me. i dun exactly look pretty. in normal tee and shorts with my glasses on. and large acne around my face. but i consider him good taste anyway. my advice is clearly written as my title.

few mins later, i heard someone mumbling behind me. looked and saw anthr filthy old guy, looking worse den me in his shorts and white tee. mumbling mumbling mumbling. not a slightest idea wat he was talking. in fact i tink he was a bit loose in the head. din seem to know what he was doing. den he stood beside me, opened the mag i took and started browsing thru. and then continued mumbling. omfg~! i gotta pretend i've done reading and went off. popular had so many weirdos lurking around me!!

went for anthr shopping spree with bestie at midvalley last week. we were darn determined to buy smth from there. robinson's kononnye sale. so, went over to gardens. yeah sale. even with 90% discount i still gotta think twice. but it was at isetan i found my current dream boutique. Iora. fell in love with its clothes at 1U. yeah it wasnt tat cheap but i love the blouses, skirts and everything! so very sophisticated and exactly the styles i like. limiting only 1 blouse from there, i had a hard time choosing, kept changing after one anthr to compare. and finally i picked tis

my gorgeous new lime green blouse from Iora! love the comfortable material and nice design. and it makes me look slim in it. thumbs up! =)

and i dun have this colour anyway.

check out their purchase bags.

so nice for a bag!!!!

that's my keychain. bday pressie from sis

lol i love tis bag. tat explains the reason for the many pics of it.

von dear also got a superb blouse from there. gals, u wanna pamper urself? go for Iora=)

got smth from gardens. so headed to midvalley once more. i wanted a dress. so here it is. found tis sweet lil one in Colours.

look at the pretty floral print on it!!! and tis dress makes me look slimmer lolx..

now i am waiting for my salary to arrive. wanna sew the hole i had in my wallet. but hey, spending alot on things i love is part of me. i enjoy pampering myself =)

ok bedtime for me!nitezzzz

CONFESSIONS OF A DISAPPOINTED STUDENT AND A USELESS TEACHER

2009-06-26T08:28:00.006+08:00

a happy belated father's day to my dearest daddy. u're growing old with grace, and i still love u like a great daughter does. ^^

and let's pay a tribute to the late Michael Jackson, the legendary king of pop. von dear, dun be sad anymore la k. i'll giv u a big wet kiss tomorrow when we meet. *hugz* lol... (von: =.="")

i'm getting into the life of teaching. things happen yesterday that makes me open my heart to notice and feel stuff that i never get to have before this. i look at things on someone else's point of view, and before i realise it, i'm sharing the responsibility, joy and sadness for the students. i never knew with only juz a few days in this school, i actually have such compassion for them.

in the morning class, my dear students and i were enjoying lessons together. i was so excited about a boy knowing how to cook it sent the front few rows of pupils i'm talking to laughing. gave them some notes to copy which were asked to b pass up b4 school dismissed. then my class ended, the same boy came up to me and asked bout culinary courses and stuff like baking classes. omg can u blif it, he is into french delicacies!!! and he wants to learn those pastry making, bread, chocolate, cakes and watever sweet other foods u can think of. guys, buck up plz. if u wanna make me fall in love with u, dun come telling me "eh i can cook. maggi mee, u want?" only. yummylicious. too bad, he's too young for me. whahaha....anyway, everything went well until i went for next class in form5. the kids were anthr nice bunch, cracking stupid jokes with watever i taught them. it was during recess, then i stayed a lil while again to chat with the boys. that was when i listened to a confession.

"how were ur sivik classes b4 this? i asked.

"sux. we cant und a single thing at all. language command not good. but teacher din seem to bother. so we also totally giv up during her lessons. either pretend to listen or sleep. if we have a teacher like u to communicate with us, we're happy. but other than that, we juz simply waste our time away. as a student b4, i tink u've experienced it, dui ma?"

"wo liao jie.."

anthr student pipped," teacher, how long will u b here b4 leaving for uni?"

"erm.. let's say until around july?"

"wat!!? walao, means we'll have lessons for juz anthr few more weeks den no teachers again."

u see they were devastated. not exactly happy to be abandoned by the school having no teachers for so many months and kept having new faces to teach them and then leave. it's like Touch n' Go. how sad. it made me felt worse when the confessed student said in that disappointed look "it's laidat 1 la. we change teachers till we dun even mind anymore who actually comes in."

these kids, they knew wat they want. and it's not being left having no lessons. they wud prefer someone to teach them even in these minor subjects. there were no happy or excited or we-dun-care looks. only dejected. which made me recalled how we sometimes used to groan and complained hoping we have some free time and not going for lessons, skipping classes coz we dislike the teachers or the lessons. it's not how things were supposed to be.

the whole day passed quite peacefully until the form4 class monitor came to hand in the books.
the english teacher of the class saw it, and she said smth that broke my heart.

"this class is very very terrible. 20 of them failed in my english. i told them, i said, u better come up with a solution on this prob. if there's no solution, i will not teach. i will do my work, u will do ur own work."

and then she continued. "i can see not everybody passed up the books."

wtf!!! hey does it matter to u even if nobody passes up my books?? juz bcoz they failed in a language which is not their strongest, u condemned them, boycotted them, forced them to come out with a solution which i tink supposed to be part of ur damn job as a teacher. u're paid to teach them, not ignore them! omg this donkey of a teacher dared to talk to me laidat. she has totally given up on her pupils. no wonder she was late to class ystdy and i had to tell the monitor to find her. and she was not even in the staffroom. she went gambolling around to photocopy smth. supposedly u tink she has smth urgent to do and no time to enter the class. eh come on la, it's ur lesson time. u mean to ignore them juz bcoz they failed ur paper and go on doing ur stuff???? no wonder they have no respect for u! u're obviously delaying all ur work for the last minute and den finding excuses not to enter the class. wtf if u're so not willing, stop torturing the pupils and hand in ur resignation letter!! the students deserved someone better to be their teacher. call urself a master graduate. it's worth ntg if u cannot deliver ur knowledge to the students. fucking lazy. like as if the students love to fail. like as if they're born to fail english tests. i hope ur son or daughter fails in all his or her papers, especially english. den i wud love to see how u can come up with a solution and probably have enaf neurons in ur brain to apply it to the students.

omg, i cant blif i rant over ppl like her.

and the school. plz for heaven's sake. u leave them at those arts classes having no teachers for so many months. 4 fucking months, to be specific! i was telling mom ystdy that my hope is tat the school will be able to find a substitute teacher asap to replace me. plz dun ever neglect them laidat anymore, it's heartbreaking.

my best wishes for the kids i love alot.

STORIES AGAIN

2009-06-20T16:59:00.002+08:00

haha b4 i start crapping, lets take a look at this gorgeous face. recently i'm into uploading my photos everywhere. for ur benefits la, duwan ppl complain y i seem to have lack my power in ss-ing liao. swttttt.. anyway, sum1 saw this and said i've turned into a lady. whakaka wat is tat supposed to mean? lol. personally i love this pic. it kinda makes me look like a graceful ballet dancer or smth. dun agree? go away. XD

anyways, u know wat suyuen has been up to recently? no shopping, no. though i wud love to go poking around in Pavilion's Juicy Couture to see if there's any nice bags or blingblings i can pamper myself with. ok i went to take up the temporary teacher in my mom's skul. teaching moral and sivik haha can u blif tat? the subj i hate the most. i scored A for moral only once in my whole life during sec skul, and tatz during spm. and wat the heck is sivik besides being the new subj i've never taken b4? =D

yesterday's lesson was only 1 period. with a form4 class. i spent 10minz looking at "Melindungi Hak Kanak-kanak", the value i was supposed to teach tat day. den the rest of my time is spent facebooking, reading, sleeping, nervous-ing, going to bathroom, yawning, nervous-ing and... nervous-ing. i knew dealing with 16 yr olds are not the same with kids. kids are more carefree and innocent. these ppl, if u do any mistakes, they'll talk about u, laugh at u and embarrass u. eurgh.. dun "ya meh?' me. u're also a student ok. haha.

when i entered the class, students gave me this oh-we-have-a-young-teacher-here look. the greetings part was pretty funny. they chanted it so slowly and having to be called teacher again felt nice. haha but tis young teacher leh she was not happy with the speed they greeted her, so she told them to repeat. lol.

started by introducing myself. 1 of them was cheeky enough to ask for phone number. =="" den someone asked me how i managed to enter UM. and i went on explaining bout the pathways after spm. many seem to have given up the idea of not able to enter uni, and i found myself being a grandmom again telling them the usual thing of "dun giv up, blif in urself, ntg is impossible" yada yada. added bout moral being not ez, but also not hard.

left bout 15minz for the lesson. talked to them bout children's rights, child abuse, wat a child deserve, life experiences and found myself being relax. they were listening, i knew they were. coz i spoke to them in my abysmal mandarin, and whenever i couldn't find a word, they helped me to complete my sentence. well. good sign.... there was a time i mentioned about premarital sex leading to abortion, they started to make such a racket. 38 betulll.... maybe they've never had such open-minded teacher telling them straight about all these lol. there was this particular boy. i thought he looked kinda cute. he was always asking me q. tat helped me quite alot coz at least i had smth to talk about. once, he even asked me whether there's any case of children wanting to sue their parents coz he had a fren wanted to do that. i was like "well yeah...". and then anthr case was i asked if they've watched "i not stupid" movies. and he was like "i got. but i like crayon shin chan more."

me: yeah i love him too
the cute boy: he's my idol!
me: he's my idol too, dun rebut with me.

he gave me tis look of disbelief, dunno whether to laugh or not. and his fren turned to laugh at him haha...... so damn childish la me. but hey, y so serious?

i cant blif i actually "argued" with my student bcoz of u. hng.

and i loved the way the way they said they'd block the door so tat the next teacher cant come in when the bell rang. kakaaa... when pupils came in the class, i stopped telling stories and the same boy said,"lao shi, continue. ignore them." lol. muz find out wat his name is next lesson.

will be reading on Carmen bin Ladin's story(Inside the Kingdom). i tink it'll help me in getting some ideas for next value(melindungi hak wanita). Souad's tale (read this book: Burned Alive) which i've read b4 will be an asset too. thanks, u both ladies!

oh yeah, let u guys see my new ugly eyebrows.

dun ask me y.. devastating right? spoil my pretty looks only. T__T

something random. i saw this in Giant supermarket.

toilet paper sale. the white tag was BEFORE discount. and the yellow 1 is AFTER discount. wow, i saved alot of money!! thanks Giant!

wanna go bathe. byee

TRAIN HARD, EAT LESS!!

2009-06-15T09:24:00.003+08:00

with tis, i proudly announced that for two days i went swimming, i did a whooping total of 229laps!! whakaka ofcoz, it's the 25m 1 lar. (i can almost hear some green monsters making faces at me and mumbled "cheh, 229 only mar, very geng meh?") whahaha i dun carre wat u tink, it's a great achievement for me. haven't been training ever since SUKMUM ended. which was like... 5months plus ago? =="" watever.

1st day was 100 laps. whoa, i was dead hungry by then. went to a restaurant near mines wonderland. one of my favourites. the paper-wrapped chicken esp. omg!! i ate like all those ppl who were starved for days. (paisehnyer..) so the 100lapz made no effect in reducing my layers of fat. huarrghhhh ~~!!!

2nd day better. got intention to swim 150 lapz. but c c only 129lapz. sis stopped after 100+ not as many as mine. swimming on my own bored me. called mom and went somewhere for lunch. yikes, anthr few thousands of calories consumed, including my yummie McDonald's green apple sundae. sis was trying to force me into eating my Possessed (tatz my nickname for my most most fave, the goodest, the betterest, the bestest Big Apple Donut-Duren Duren!). tis round, innocent-looking bread with durian feelings in it can actually makes me go ecstatic with the 1st bite. de way it tickles my taste buds makes me shudder. ok so now i'm talking like a possessed gal. and thats where the nickname comes from too. mom and sis also started using it. ystdy mom was like "gonna eat ur Possessed today?" uh huh. no. i wanna lose weight ==""

ooohh..... look at the texture. i wanna squeeze it !

Possessed in a seducing voice, "eat me, suyuen babe. i know u want me.."

anyway, i give up dieting and making myself thin. swimming doesnt help. it'll gimme a bodybuilder look. and i cant be suyuen if i starve myself. i live to eat!! tried some clothes at Comma ystdy. the sizes were only meant for: skinny models and anorexic gals. in de end i only managed to get a blouse about my size. is the economy tat bad till cloth is not enaf, or juz gals are getting more skeleton-like nowadays? haiz dunno. jealous betul. i mau kurus...~~

updating anthr bloggie. byeeeeee

SOME EYE CANDIES KAKAZZZ

2009-06-12T22:58:00.002+08:00

i know u wanna see tis. XD

SUYUEN FOUND SOMETHING CUTE!!

2009-06-12T22:09:00.004+08:00

today went shopping at sunway pyramid. bought my pretty Hush puppies blouse. finally i found the correct size and correct colour, yay!! ok i sounded so childish, summor go "i want, i want!" like 38 gal. salesboy also looked at me and quickly yanked out the hanger for me. *embarrassed*
anyway, it made me happy wat, u dun jealous wor! XD i know u feel like slapping me. i stand here and wait for u to do so. ^^

den proceed to a shoe boutique. not for me lor, i tink i got enaf shoes so far. 1 high heels, 1 gladiator type sandals, 2 pairs for my lectures, 2 for casual wear. cukup la kan. den i entered the shop innocently, no intention to buy 1. mom suddenly, "eh, tis 1 nice!" and threw 1 on the floor. for me. i looked at it. omg...... orgasm! my nafsu membuak-buak like boiling water. it was these super gorgeous white-like-ur-face cream heels. yikeesssss!!!

no i duwan.
yes i want.
no, i say i duwan.
duh, who cares wat u said. i want it.
eheh, u cant influence me. when i say i duwan, i will keep my word.

and i walked out the boutique. with that super gorgeous white-like-ur-face cream heels.

XD i cant help it!!! but i swear i'll have this as the last pair till a few more months. if not, all my shoes will disappear and i'll have ntg to wear. i promise. i promise.....

hunted for my buddy's bday present as well. found smth tat made me faint with awe. smth so cute i cant take my eyes off it. bought 2 of diff types. one for buddy, one for me. even now when typing this out, i was throwing admiring glances at it. ok go ahead and laugh if u want to. but wait till u see it, u'll come back visiting my blog all the time juz to have a look at it. whakakakaaaazzz~~

presenting....

TADAAAA~~!!!!!!

MY CUTE LIL PIGGIE LITTER BIN!!!!

XDXD *blow flying kisses*

u like u like?? *winkz*

the function hor, u open the piggie's head, and it'll reveal a compartment..

see it????? lolz

u can either throw ur unwanted papers in it and make it as a rubbish bin or...

u can put ur stuff in there (my idea)! multi-purpose!!

dun u tink it's juz too adorable to be true?? XD

u make me happy, litter-bin!! kakakaaaa

gave dad his father's day gift juz now. which i bought from mid valley. eii i choose myself 1 leh.... let's see how good my taste is.....

DANG!!! nice rite nice rite??

lol mom and sis were also impressed with it. said it made dad looked so much younger. aww... i never doubt my taste, man!! it kinda made u wish i'll get a gift for u too rite? lolx ok i'm so perasan, i know. thanks so much for the compliment yah! ^^

let's see wat i can get for mom next. i still owe her a bday gift. daaaa....

DILEMMA

2009-06-09T21:59:00.003+08:00

there was this particular dialogue which i really like and most probably has some meaning to me. from Nana the movie. After a long time separated and her passion for her singing career, Nana komatsu confessed tis to Ren when they were in the bathtub together.

"ren, we can't continue to be like tis. maybe sometimes we can meet up, make love, chat like wat we're doing now. but my ego wants me to go on with my career. maybe one day, when i'm tired of singing, when i'm old enough, i'll return to our home with u.."

dun feel like elaborating much. but this dilemma of mine is making me so miserable. ir made me think whether meeting that person today was a correct move anot. maybe yes, at least we're clear of the prob we're facing. maybe not, it made me felt like an idiot. it was definitely not wat i wished for a happy hi-long-time-no-see trip. nobody wished for it in fact.

anyways, dunno whether my misery is obvious on my face or wat, many of my frens and some strangers had the ways to make me feel better. it's funny how things work. normally ppl can juz dun bother bout u and u dun give a damn as well. but when u need someone, there're these tiny lil incidents which'll cheer u up heaps. 1st, after i stepped out of the shopping mall, 2 ppl approached me for charity. 2 different ones. even when i tot i might get conned or smth, i still decided to donate. juz to make me feel better by doing charity, if it's reli for real. (hope so!) one of them, which was a woman, even chatted with me a bit. the other 1, a guy, gave me a cheerful bye. when i boarded the train, i met 3 aunties. one of them were grumbling about the terrible crowd and surely things will get stolen. with my earphone blasting music away, i could hear her still. amused though, i grinned at her cute comment. she saw it, and decided to talk to me. repeated the same thing, den her fren looked at me and said "u all also muz sometimes touch ur pockets and take care of ur bags to check whether ur stuff's still there." lol. funny ppl. again i laughed. my friendliness(whakaka) had me talking back to them. i said "yeah reli very dangerous. juz now i was near the entrance also, but too crowded lar, i moved in here". (and met u guys the funny aunties XD) later when one of them was offered a seat by a malay gal, they started to make fun of her.

1st aunty: "wah, she see me very old tatz y call me to sit."
2nd aunty: "haha u very old meh?"
1st aunty: "eh, 60 smth liao lor me. not old ah?"
she caught me smiling at her. and ask me the same q.
her frens all laughed. i looked at her.
me: "hehe,u still look young o." (mygod, i know how to sweet talk 1 ke??)

they got down at the station before mine. so when she got up, she went "lai, xiao mei, sit. sit."
me: "oh it's ok. i'm getting down right after this." *smiled*
"ohhh.... ok la!"

me: bye bye..!"

in the car, when i saw mom and sis, warmly welcomed me back, sis with her new tomato-styled haircut (she said tat, not me kaka), mom talking bout the new restaurant with great spaghetti they had juz now, i felt so damned good. this is where i belong, no matter live or dead. nobody or nothing has the right to be better than this. when i had my msn on, frens find me to chat. a good chat with my bestie thru msg also made me felt alot like myself again. only left to patch things up now. tatz all.

and a quotation from mayzhee: all good guys are taken. yeah she's true.

wow i actually had the mood to blog today!! edwin, happy now? whakaka. no more dusty dusty blog. help me clean next time k whahaha.

2009-05-26T14:49:00.000+08:00

Bila bertalu,
rentak di kalbu
hasrat yang tersirat semakin kuburu
bila bergema laungan gempita
harapan bernyala nadiku berganda~
Gemuruh Jiwa, semangat membara...
Dari puncak ingin ke angkasa
berkalungkan bintang berkelipan
menyerlah jauh dari yang biasa~~

6th May 09
Went back to my 2nd home, kolej matrikulasi johor with YW. in that memorable Cepat Ekspres. journey was great coz were excited and chatted all the way about how the orientation would be. being the 2nd intake and having no idea wat the whole thing was about, u can guess i was a bit nervous with it as well.arrived around 11.30am. after registered, checked in and settled down, started our work with arranging some documents into files for the juniors. stared around. HEP, tutorial rooms, lecture halls, the gorgeous dataran temenggung, all the 6 blocks.... ahhhh!! i'm back finally!!!!! misss euuuu soo soo muchyyy!! *smiled*nite was ice-breaking session. met some new frenz in my group. man... was i grateful to know them!! the guys are sporting and funny, esp my leader who is also our senior.(Aiman lah~) so how did we intro ourselves to the rest was we had to do a drama on fairytales. so mine was Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs. Snow White was Faerdaus (aww man.. i'll nvr forget ur charming ban-cute look when u did the Bollywood-like chasing on the beach scene XD), the bad witch was me (as usual,i dunno y i enjoy holding evil characters lolxx), the mirror was YW, 7 dwarfs were the gals (soli, cant reli rmbr ur names ==""), the hunter who was sent to kill snow white was Azim ("ok i'll release u, if u promise to perform aerobic and gelek dance for me." whakakaka), Prince charming was jeannette, and the funny durian golek was Amir (dun ask me y there are durians involved in here, thanks to the mastermind+director Aiman lolxx pengsan listening to his storyline) Amir went rolling to Snow white and going "ahh ahh pening aku!" which got us all bellies with laughter. he replaced the poisonous apple to kill Snow white. but the story got a twist by giving her diarrhea instead XD so in the end when snow white met Prince charming and getting all lovey-dovey, sudd she farted and spoilt the mood. den Prince conjured smth called........

the pill chi kit teck aun..... just for u...

ROFL LMAO LOL!!!!!and they lived happily ever after.... so the conclusion is... this is an advertisement on diarrhea!!!wat creative minds u guys have. whakakakkakaaaaa7th May-10th Maylet's just summarise it by us having lotza refreshments to learn, cheers, fun games to be played (the 'scariest' was the 1 having us to surrender rm10 each. i tot my money will never return again, seeing them being so dead serious into keeping our money if we lost. ><), in the evening would be the riadah session (poco-poco, chicken dance, j'robik. now i'm expert in those dy whahahahaaa).on 1 morning, we were told to paint the tutorial rooms. extra 08/09 shirts were distributed to us to be worn (thanks, u know i need that). it went very smoothly until i kacau my leader, Aiman. saw him walking and fooling around."aiman, curi tulang yeh.!""mana ada, org dah siap ah."sudd he ambushed me with the roller and painted my hand "dah kotor pun, tambah lagi takpe!""arrrggghhhh!"so i revenged lar, "attacked" him with more paint when he din notice. den the Star Wars battle occur, with us being Jedi and paint rollers as our swords XD soon, the whole tutorial rooms were filled with screams and yells as everyone were painting and being painted by each other. main culprit was the Naga gang (Aiman one of them)it was the best moment during training week haha ("very childish lar u guys!')
*at this time my laptop is repeating Gemuruh for dunno how many times dy*

11th May
Alas, KMJ welcomed its 1st batch of 09/10 juniors!!! my group was in charge with block F (my previous block) and i was in protocol. which is cool coz i got to interact with student and parents and answ all their q. registration day went fine, and that evening was our 1st meeting with the non-muslims students.

12th-14th may
everyday's sleep was around 2-3hrs. woke up around 5am to get ready for the exercise session with the non-muslims. gosh juniors, some of u were complaining of the harsh life just bcoz u need to get up early. hng... but luckily they were very cooperative and things were sweet and smooth. games and refreshments were conducted. applied watever we had learnt during training on them ^^moral sessions were always sharing time for all of us. we answered their thoughts and troubles during then. almost cried when answering a q on being homesick but had to stay strong as she din want her mom to worry about her.(been alwayz touchy when it comes to family issue. guess i wasn't that strong after all). time to say goodbye too coz it was the last moral session with them (14th may)

15th may
Majlis penutupan orientasi. we facilitators performing "Gemuruh". and it was a surprise performance for everyone. which i think was pretty cool coz nobody would be expecting it. ^^ rehearsed some time, touched up here and there, added some faci cheers(the significant faci fighting cheer) and off we go!!! as i was standing the front row, i could feel all of us were so spirited, danced and sang like there's no tomorrow, the burning feeling in each of us as we went "gemuruh jiwa.." and we can feel the crowd felt the same way as us too ^^ cameras flashing every corner, senior facilitators recording every single of that glory moment... ahhhh........... i do feel like a celebrity whakakakaaaa~~ we are celebrities!! as we got down the stage:ingat ingat itu rememberjangan lupa itu dun forgetfaci sayang adik, we love uhanya adik only u.....awww...took photos with some juniors, gave them last few bits of advices, some came to say thanks for everything, gave me hugs (sobz), my LDK group member called and asked me whether wanna gather to have last meeting anot( gawd, u know how much i appreciate that? coz i was trying to fight for the microphone to announce H23 to gather, but good thing u guys were so proactive!! muahxxxx! ) nite was emo. after farewell party of BBQ and secret recipe cakes, we facilitators gathered at JPP room. sang "gemuruh" again for the last time. then arms-in-arms, we sang kenangan terindah. that was when my tears came rolling down my cheeks T__T it's hard to say goodbye guys. this whole journey and u have taught me so much of things. i found my inner strength and wat i'm capable of. i boost my confidence and knew how to have fun, feel the joy when together and pain when leaving, knowledge and experience that no books can provide, gawd reli thanks to all of u. the tears is not bcoz of regret, but bcoz of the sweetest memories we planted in our hearts which will be carried with us forever, and until we meet again ^^

to my dearest LDK (H23): u guys were darlings, u know. though we've only knew each other for 1 week, and only met during LDK sessions, which is not long, i appreciate every single one of u. from ur notes, i know i've done a good job in guiding and helping u all. my facilitator job is done, but i'm still ur fren, ready to lighten ur burdens and reduce ur sorrows. i'll remember how u cried for me when we were about to say goodbye, how u yelled in unison "kak suyuen, we love u!" how sporting u are in watever tasks i entrusted u guys with, it is an inspiration to me to improve myself for the future. and i hope u'll appreciate the lessons u've learnt during the orientation week as well. lub u guys!!!!

Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau kenangan
Yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupku
Yang telah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah

lolxx..

2009-05-06T00:20:00.003+08:00

not gonna update for anthr 2 more weeks. going back to KMJ. so the latest two posts are to make up for abandoning my blog about 1month plus. TT

i have so much to update about!! i need more time!!

AEE 1688.

2009-05-06T00:19:00.000+08:00

this part is the real mood spoiler during the penang trip. Beware!after a long tiring but enjoyable trip, a relaxing journey back is all we want.12.45pmtransnasional's earliest bus was 3pm. impossible for us to wait for 2+ hours ma, so we went around looking for anthr bus. found one departing at 1.15pm. tis fella told us loud loud that it will reach kl by 4.30pm and latest by 5.15pm. ok lor so we trust him lor. when the bus arrived, wow it looked so grand. no scraped off paint, no dusty muddy body, with "malaysia coach" printed nicely. good 1st impression there. but when i entered, ohmigod tis is a pure horror. gloomy looking seats, with some of them kept sliding backwards bcoz lack of the thing to adjust it. ok nvm i still can forgive that. ants crawling along the edge, i still can tolerate. smelly seats i also can be patient. i wanna arrive kl safely, that's all. 1st, the bus delayed for 30mins, wtf. how to arrive at 4.30pm wor if laidat?? so finally when the bus started to move, we were happy. next, it was travelling at a speed even the beca in malacca can overtake it. MF told us the lorries were passing it like nobody's business. definitely no 4.30pm business. but that was small matter. den it started to stop at several places. and the most tragic 1 was when it stopped at a deserted area for about 30mins. u know y? the bus has broken down, for heaven's sake. so ppl started to get down and tried to repair it. bus driver was being so irresponsible and din check his bus properly b4 fetching ppl. so, we wasted so much time in that stuffy bus. finally when the engine was roaring again, we were damn relieved. plz oh plz, no more breakdowns anymore.travelling in tortoise speed, it stopped again after anthr 20mins. every1 were losing patience. and i wanna curse him properly. then, he switched off the air-cond and open the bus roof. i could smell some petrol leaking as well. so pathetic man.. off we go again, stuffy but at least we hope that the prob was solved. good thing no rain. somewhere in the middle of the highway, suddenly he blasted the honk. guess wat, he almost crashed into a car. we almost met in an accident. i almost din get the chance to facebook and post tis note up. plz, everyone. if u were desperate for transport, dun ever risk ur life with tis killer bus. rmbr the number plate. it's stated at the title. i'm helping u to save ur neck.8.15pmat long last, a torturing 1, we arrived pudu. the moment i saw kl tower, phewwwwww..... lega aku......and the closing ceremony for the "worst journey in history" event was he dropped us in front of maybank tower. actually, i wanted to thank him, but yeah the enjoyable ride he gave us had me got down as fast as possible without a second look at him and the bus. that's all for now. rmbr ah, AEE 1688. dun get hypnotized by self-proclaimed time.

penang trip!!!! 2nd-5th may

2009-05-06T00:16:00.003+08:00

yeeehhhaaaa!!! juz back from penang island ystdy after a thrilling 3 days, 2 nites there. trying to upload some photos here, but my stubborn card reader refused to detect my memory card. and my abysmal mind tells me that i've forgotten to bring along the cable yikeesssss................. dieeee....2nd mayso yeah, we ( man fai, jia jen, swee yen, li wen and i) arrived there around 1.30pm, took the rapid penang to batu ferringhi and got a guest room there. it was right next to the beach! ^^ after unpacking our luggage and a quick rest, we went to enjoy the sea breeze. my my.... batu ferringhi's beach is so different compared to the pityful 1 at non-island penang. there were so many happenings going on there, u can see horses, kids runnung around building sand castles, banana boats, jetski, the lil turbo car scooting around and so on. we saw this kid trying to bury his torso into the sand. omg, he's so Q!! so we these group of sampat jiejie and korkor got so thrilled looking at him and started taking photos with him. ^^ photos update soon. if only my abysmal mind improves. sobssssok, so i kept telling myself i wont go to the sea, i wont get wet, i duwan to be covered in salt water and sand, but SY was like 'wei.. wo yao xia hai leh.... suyuen, ni yao ma?" i... i.... i actually wanted to quite badly so wat actually happen was, yeah i went in the sea in the end. XD took chance to drench her and she retaliated. so i was wet also (i could feel my earlier promise is shaking its head. wait.. promises have heads???) then, my kind hearted frens decided to bury me in the sand. thanks ya, this is how u treat a bday gal la har so nice lorrrr haha~ ^^no photos available dudududu~~after shower, we went to the food court near our chalet and ordered some penang famous local food. char kuey tiaw, ikan bakar, sambal sotong, prawn noodles, etc. then hor, our stomach still managed to go for 2nd course lolxxx... so we ordered capati and puri (dunno wat tat was, but tasted good ^^ makan je tau.. XD) pasar malam was on that night too. one thing i realise was, the sellers simply shouted prices, and they were always killing ones. tourist area ma, tourists felt the stuff were cheap, but we local ppl tau u're trying to slaughter us. so we ended up bargaining threatening to walk away if they refused to listen to us. the night came.... but too bad i was exhausted.. so missed my 12am XD3rd mayvery wet day.after breakfast at the nostalgic dusty kopitiam that we dreamt of, we went to bukit bendera aka penang hill. took the trem up the hill, and all we saw there was... mist. raining lor tatz y apa pun tak nampak. nvm, this trip is not gonna be spoilt bcoz of this. was lucky coz when we arrived there, some kind of snake performance was going on. if u are a huge fan of dirty fierce pythons and slimy cobras, this 1 is for u. and i am a fan XDyay!journey continued with me getting myself a tattoo, den we were off to kek lok si temple. along the way to the temple, there were many tiny stalls at the rickety pathway. ppl selling amulets, t-shirts, bracelets, keychains and all those buddha figurines. but we got ourselves neckaces, with our names written on a grain of rice. ^^at the temple, we saw about 50 tortoises about the size of my head. and ppl were throwing veggie in the pond for them. i dun see y they should. basically the tortoises would be so full to their throats they might throw up if they swallow another leaf. so the public is actually polluting the pond water only... up we went again to the temple. the moment i stepped in there, i could feel sense of calmness. the temple was great. we said our prayers, took some pics, shared a wish with a lotus candle, LW bought smth for her dad ( i dunno wat that is, but it was this two biji of large marbles where u turn them around with ur hand) and me banging on the huge huge bell that rang the whole place. wanted to visit the new temple, but the lift to bring us there was off duty ady. T__Taround 5.45pm, we departed and again, we stopped by at the shops, where the shopkeepers were screaming prices as low as possible juz to attract customers. "keychains 6 for rm8!"me: wow cheap lor. cheaper than the one we bought juz now *heartache*shop uncle saw me whispering"y? not cheap enaf? ok i give u rm6."our eyes bulged in shock"nvm, i can also give u rm4!"walao uncle!!! ><><

so we took this bus home and i wanna comment smth on it. not in this note. coz this 1 is gonna be a happy memory for all of us. next note ba. arrived at pudu-8.30pm. y so late? next note.best quotations during the trip:at pasar malam"lai lai lai, shorts for rm28. u can wear it both sides."me: one side rm14. recording a video b4 leavingme: LW, wat do u think of gurney?LW: hoho... best. u reli muz go there with empty stomach.sharing sessionJJ: after exams, i'm no longer a human. XDguys, i hope u enjoy reading tis. coz i have a great time typing tis wonderful memory out. i hope we can still continue going for holidays together like tis in the future. love u all for spending time with me during my bday, tis is the best gift for me. friendship that cannot be bought with money. thankssss!!!

MASUM AND MICRO 1410

2009-03-20T14:50:00.002+08:00

was browsing thru facebook ystdy and came across my fren's photos. omfg, she uploaded pix on MASUM man.. i cant blif i actually decided not to take part in such event.!! fuckingly mad with myself. if i actually went for it, i would've been able to meet my idols (national swimmers, no play play dere) T___T but thatz not the main purpose.

the reasons i was so heartache over it was i missed the times when i was in SUKMUM, the anxiety and extreme nervousness while waiting for own's events, the cheers for own teammates when they were competing, the glory we shared together whenever we won, the exhaust felt when we were back in college, the celebration and moments of joy, the pride felt in one's heart as we received the medals, and the idea of meeting great ppl in the same sports field is so overwhelmingly meaningful to me. the most important is, SUKMUM has planted the love for swimming deeper in me, which i've come to appreciate with wat i'm capable of. unfortunately, nobody understood this ystdy. nobody at all. Mom even thought i wanted to enter MASUM so badly juz to take photos. =="""" arghh.... i could still feel the bitterness while blogging this. T__T so i came to a conclusion, that in no matter wat happens, i'm gonna join MASUM next year. even if i've to miss a test or fail my assignment or watever fucking business, i'm on with it.

aww..... man..... (takes deep breath)

gonna train hard hard for the competition. and control my diet. and stop having lots of chocolates (mom juz bought old jamaican dark choc ystdy. practically torturing me T__T). learn my somersault and diving properly. I. Want. To. Go. For. MASUM. And. I'm. Serious.

anywayz on the brighter side, i got my new camera today!!! woohoo!! itz olympus micro 1410. gorgeous yellow. man, i love it so so so much after few minutes in playing with it. mission accomplished. XD

yikes, ntg much else to say. tmr starting class again. biochem test is next. watever.

WULALALA~~~~

2009-03-09T17:06:00.007+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST DADDY!!! woot woot...!! went to the Ship ystdy to celebrate. dad ordered seafood platter, and the rest of us had Spring Chicken. had a great lunch (tasted mocktail for the 1st time too... damn nice!!!)

got dad a pair of trousers (man.. he likes it, oh yeah~. thanks to u for choosing it yah, u know who u are XD) mom and sis bought him a new set of keyboard coz his current 1 produced intolerable click click sounds everytime got pressed.

newayz happy birthday again. though i hardly (in fact i tink i never did) say this but i love you dad. u're a great person. might not be the best, but ahh accepting the flaws is part of life isn't it? anyway, wishing u all the joy and happiness in the world, dad!! ^^

newayz.. let's c... i havent been blogging lately. no prize for guessing act wat i've been doing recently lolxx..... tests are coming all over again. and oh oh... finally.... MPA1 is over!!!! wuahahaa!!! i can actually dance with shakira's "hips dun lie" now gawd damn relieved!!! on the other hand, i can say i reli enjoyed the whole process la.. esp on the real night. EMCEE SUYUEN!!! XD skipped evening's class tat day (4th mac) juz for the last rehearsal. den bathed and changed into my pretty suit. seniors did my makeup and hairdo for me. oh man they're reli pro lar.... thanks to lixin and sylvia, both of u made me look so pretty o~! *whistle*

Tatz me....~~~

my partner, Ashree and i

event started at 8pm. we both were there on the stage, making pre-announcements. not many ppl have arrived yet, and i felt so weird while announcing to the few guests and to the walls and chairs and tables. =="" stood there and smiled for 1 hour while waiting for the VIPs to arrive. it was.... i'm speechless.... with the spotlight shining down at me, all my make up luntur like t-shirt kena bleach only. luckily i had my technical room peeps to chat with me lolx

so after 1 hour of torturous waiting, finally "ladies and gentlemen, announcing the arrival of our guests of honour......!!" the whole event went as smoothly as my oxy10 cream. was even better than i expected. ignore the fading make up, i was so proud of myself for having the courage of doing smth that i've wished for all these while. only few weeks ago i wanted to juz giv it up, but that'll mean betraying my own dream. and i've juz made everything looked good on time!! ^^

then, there was this mpa2 few days later. at crowne plaza mutiara hotel. the moment we arrived there, i was like "wow.....!" the view was amazing. and i reli mean it. glamorous entrance, beautiful lounge, and there was this gorgeous piano at the side of the circular stairs. aww man....... heartz!

i was even more impressed when a waiter carried a tray with drinks to serve to the guests. sheesh tis was so much better than wat we had in pharmnite..!! ^^ the ballroom was superb and our table was situated in one of the best locations u can ever wished for. juz right beside the red carpet itself. and it was full of dedications XD and i act received roses <3>

ok tatz my blur blur morning look ==""

went to watch "love matters" with peeps tat day at midvalley. gawd, it was such a shitty yet funny movie! XD honestly, i reli salute the actors in there for being so bold. was laughing like an idiot throughout the whole movie. the funniest was that married couple. i dunno who was more desperate: the man kept wanting to "do it" with his wife and complaining bout himself being impotent, or the woman who after listening to some stupid theory on men, started buying all those tongkat ali-typed of drinks for her hubby. swt"" anywayz, it was enjoyable la but my advice is" dun watch it with sum1 of diff gender unless u're very open-minded XD

gotta go out now. oh btw, i bought myself more clothes today. orgasm. XD

FINALLY..

2009-02-23T19:57:00.002+08:00

ahhhh!!! finally the tsunami ended. 3 killing papers were over today at last, after so many many weeks of pia-ing =="" oh btw, congratz on xiejiao for itz own official blog now!!!! lolxxx...

APK was as usual very meaningless today. watz de point of learning all those peluang pekerjaan and strategic places to set up ur business for a pharmacist, may I ask??? adui.... uni life is not only tiring, but very ridiculous and unexpected too @__@

newayz, today was a relaxed day. ppl were glad tat the tests were finally over. ofcoz, most went out (SS2's pasar malam, mid valley, sunway were among the most popular for UM kids ) and can u blif this:

i'm stranded in college for MPA1's work. wtf!! y did i ever get bureau logistic ah????? its still an unanswered mystery till today. it was the busiest, most time-wasting, most %$*#@% etc etc. do i look like i'm a hardworking person who can handle all these stuff?? if it is den i take it as a compliment. but blif me, i wouldn't wanna b in tis bureau anymore for the rest of my life.

swttttttt. if i could have condemn more, i will. but watz de point of complaining??

nvm. i'll find some time for myself tis week. i muz go out i dun care. come on la... been facing the books till can kisiao tat type 1 u know... i deserve a break..

letz proceed

ystdy's community service was a great success. !! yoohoo~!! it was this programme organised by pharmacy society at Rumah Amal Cheshire, which was a shelter home for unfortunate kids and the disabled ones. i was in logistic bureau, again. But hey, tis is 1 time that i reli enjoyed being in it. ^^

anyway, when i first walked in, there's this rather pityful atmosphere around me. been alwayz touchy with all these stuff. and looking myself and feeling so lucky to be in this state. as they say logistic bureau is like tugas khas where u dun have a proper duty, but juz hopped like a bunny from one place to anthr and helped other bureaus. preparing facilities were also part of our jobs (and that meanz putting up garbage bags around the area. duh~). was so excited with the whole event that i juz couldn't stand still and reli wanted to do smth. went to the exhibition crew to help them with their boards, den oh yeah came the best part: i went to join the children programme bureau. which meanz, fooling with kids!!! it was colouring contest, and i sat with a few kids, get to know dem, guided them in their arts, chatted with them and so on. it reli feels to be back in kindergarten where i worked b4. i missed it so so so much! enjoyed kids asking me wat colours they shud use for certain stuff( "kak, mata kena warna apa?" to which i replied,"apa warna mata u?" XD) juz loved to be with kids larr basically. itz amazing to listen to how they speak on certain things, the q they asked, their laughters, their never ending "look at tis!" when u praised them for their work 1st time. i felt like i'm shut off from the community service and had fun with kids on the other hand ^^.

oh i even taught a kid manners. he saw a colour pencil he wanted from other ppl. reminded him to ask for permission b4 taking, and he actually did. and told him to practise such habit in the future as well. lolxxx.....

den, joined the games session where there was a time when a boy was given a task b4 he can claim his prize. he was to shout "mom, dad, i love you!" . so i was ushering him so much, in the end i stood far away and told him to shout till i can listen to him. whahahaz... i know i'm bad, but it was for fun XD

went strolling to other booths to c wat others were up to. saw dr.mike and his family. den went out to distribute flyers. it was oh man... dunno how to describe. the area around there was a market. it was stinky and the weather was hot. yet i actually went to help the publicity ppl with their flyers. there was once when i passed by a indian mutton seller store, and he had his whole gang of frenz there. he shouted "sudah siap ke? apa tu?" and i had to promote bout the whole thing. and then he joked smth lame like "darah kambing boleh guna untuk test tekanan darah tak?" aduhh... swt me... was about to leave soon den anthr indian old man even asked wat my name is. walaoooooo, run for my life!!!! thk god my fren was there with me. phewwww....

had lunch, den helped the Cheshire Home workers to throw garbage. passed by few of the kids i met earlier. they were so cute, they actually called me and shouted "kak, rajin la!" whahaha.... laughed with them, told them to repeat wat they said kakazzzz.... ^^

after photography sessions, went home. totally knocked out. slept like a pig. but nevertheless, i reli enjoyed the whole day. and to think tat u carried this job with a pharmacy name in urself, it was a very proud moment for every1. we're serving the public, healing them back to health, guide them thru a healthy lifestyle and being there with ppl who needs us. man.. reli touching

late for MPA dy. who cares. gtg XD

LET THESE BE OVER SOON....

2009-02-15T19:29:00.003+08:00

examz and examz. i tink i'm going mad soon. least is depression ( and i got a feeling i've ady had a gist of it T__T)

better not pressure myself. wouldn't wanna enter asylum b4 i could get my degree. but wargh.. i reli cant stand it anymore!!!!!

spent my pityful valentine's day with books and notes and headaches. but i was grateful. had frenz who greeted me. thanks guyz, for remembering me ^^ mom got me this lovely wallet, as a small token for v-day. u know mom, i've alwayz wanted to say tis and i've been repeating for like zillionth time, u are a darling to me!! i cant imagine life without u. dun need to imagine, i'll take my life if u left me. mom, i love u alot. the way u support me, guide me throughout my ups and downs, the love and time and care u poured on me, itz undefined and not even all the money in the world can pay for this. u were there when i'm dealing with depression and misery, u were the angel that i worshipped since i was born, u were everything God has blessed me with. gosh, i shud keep this for mother's day i think. XD

proceed.

anyway, a good fren came to my coll to watch the sukmum basketball competition. gosh, so unexpected, but nevertheless i was glad to see him and the rest of the KMJ-ians that i missed so so so very much. they're like the coolest frenz that i ever had the fortune to meet. no matter how many palz i earned in UM, it's juz never the same with all of u ppl. hopefully we can go out yamcha one day la, if pharmacy hasnt turned me into a mad woman yet.

received a valentine's msg from someone. my gawd, i cant blif he did. ya lar i admit, i got a crush on him la. like him for his fun-loving character. ok stop. aint exposing too much in bloggie.

ciaoz... 2 hours of freaking on9 and acting like tests are ages away. benkyou!!!!

ERRMMMMM........

2009-02-11T18:28:00.002+08:00

started the week feeling bored and perhaps not in the mood at all.

aikx dunno watz wrong with me

feels like i cant reli feel
as happy and carefree as last time
izit the aura here tatz not suitable
or the prob is with me
still undefined...

anywayz,
physical pharmacy test today
it was erm... haizz did some silly mistakes
and even forgot smth that i juz memorized
damn sad
tis subject
i could only hope to score from these tests
coz it seemz tat this lecturer
he was very very stingy in markz
seniors said u'll die kao kao in finalz
worries me like hell
and now i go put myself in tis situation
kanasai big time....

ppl were happy with the test ended
a fren even sounded grateful
tat i told her to memo a part
that actually came out in test today
but fuck it, that was also the smth that i forgotten
i hate mental blocks

T__T

and heterocyclic test results was out
3 more to full marks
but dunno watz wrong
i was disappointed with it too
y cant i learn
the meaning of gratitude??
upset coz i was a lil bit lower than the rest
but y cant i stop myself
from comparing
and juz judge myself????
damn stupid, since sem1 also laidat
keep telling myself
i duwan compare i duwan compare
but y still laidat??
make myself miserable for ntg nia~
u muz learn to let loose, suyuen!!!!!
asyik like tis,
u gonna kisiao b4 u graduate!!

chatted with mom,
spilled out all the bu shuang-ness
feeling much better now
still got more tests to go!
stop thinking wat has passed,
focus on the upcoming ones!!!

valentine's day coming
adui..... so wat...
itz juz anthr day for me
celebrate myself lorr!!

FAMILY DAY 2009-HAPPY PHARMILY

2009-02-07T17:29:00.003+08:00

ystdy was full rehearsal for performance family day till 7.30pm. and suddenly they decided to add two more characters in the drama.. and of them was held by me.... try guess wat it is b4 u scroll down...whakakakakakakka

as early as 7.30am, medic fac was never that cheerful with loud music blasting away and 3rd years arranging the game stations and registration going on etc. after we got our badges, we did some last practice, laughing at each other's extreme SS-ness and great expressions.

started off with some aerobic
den it was time for the outdoor games
there were 10 stations
and they have all sorts of games
it reminded us of the fun fair type
u know
throwing coins into the boxes to get points and stuff
it was quite fun act
but the mood is spoilt with the increasing hot weather
and we din wanna get ourselves sweaty
coz later wanna make up and look nice
for drama ma....... XDXD

due to some technical error we couldn't take part in the indoor games
so we rushed to the bathroom
roomie was a great make-up artist
i couldn't blif she could act make me
looking juz exactly the role i'm holding

she's marvellous, i can't ask for more
drama crew were amazed with it too
plus with my glare and evil squint
gawd.... i'm purr-fect XD
now juz gotta depend on my acting
which i was feeling good with it
coz i actually offered myself for it
was excited with such cool character
i wanted to bring out
the nastiness in me
not juz remain sweet and simple
all the time
i know i can do it, coz i have
high confidence in myself.
yeah~ bring it on!!

letz check this out......

wat will u do if this thing sneaks behind u when u're looking at urself in the mirror..?

yup, i'm the evilish, scary Devil!!!!! grrrargh!!!

i knew i was half successful

when a kid passed in front of me

and he shouted, "HANTU!"

ok i think i sorta scare him too

coz i was making all those scary looks at him

baring my teeth and looking at him fiercely

the playfulness in me is boiling up again

it has alwayz been my favourite to

get playful with kidz

and then, he started to show those stunt moves

of Ultraman-like

and me also followed the same

but i did a wong fei hung version

meihui: "u also gila with him ah!"

and then that boy,

he ran to abang najib, our dept.'s assistant,

and tried to hide behind him

pointing at me

abang najib laughed

and said "itu orang lah!!"

whakakakakakakakaka~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!

drama was about to start *heart thumping*

we went in, stood beside the stage

waited for own's turn

and then this same boy

he came in with a balloon

and then he spotted me

laughed and called me hantu again

gave him my best cruel evil smile

this time he was braver

came to me and stood beside me

patted him on the head

kidz are so adorable!! gosh~

juz simply love friendly kidz

hmmmmm..............

told him to sit with the audience

so that he can see me clearer later

he did XD

finally it was my turn

went up the stage

hunching and extended my hands

glanced at every1 evilly

and then

A HIGH PITCHED SHRILL LAUGH

and

A DEEP SCARY VOICE( like i'm about to swallow u)

did my role so well

i was even surprised with myself and my acting skills XD

ahhh... love every moment of it!

frenz were congratulating

"my god, u're so scary!"

"i can never do tat. it looks so real!"

lolxxx.... see? knew i can make ppl say tat ^o^

too bad i forgotten to ask sum1 to record it for me

aikxxx

anywayz,everyone was fantabulous

in their parts contributing in this drama

they're all great actors and actresses

with creative storyline and cool music

it was a booming success

considering we hardly rehearsed

and my role was juz only included

the day before ^^

i'm sure if there's an award

for best performance

it'll be the first years (tatz us!)

FIRST YEAR POWER!!

more pix. enjoy, peeps!!

the best drama crew pharmacy ever had ^^

third years were great too. theyt were the ones who organised tis family day.all the backdrops and decorations and the flow of the whole event and the MOST important, their hard work and spirit. i juz have smth to say: CONGRATULATIONS!! u guyz rocks!!!

gotta get some good rest b4 starting intensive revision soon..... ciaozzz

2009-02-06T11:40:00.002+08:00

in computer lab now. waiting for the drama rehearsal to start.

ntg reli happen recently,

family day's tmr

going to watch my fren's basketball match today

mpa1's starting work soon ==""

and i realise, i reli miss them alot

T__T

peeps been caring towards me

advise me and stuff

thx guyz

things might not be as easy as it is

but i appreciate the words u gave me

tat family is alwayz the one for us

i know

i felt the pain when i'm typing this out

the pain of being far from them

and tat i shud learn to accept them for who they are

the pain of listening to their voices

of comfort

gosh gotta stop it b4 my tears rolled down for the whole lab to laugh at me

anyway will be back home tmr, and tis time

i'll seal all unhappy feelings

try to make up with dad (if tatz possible)

get on with some family meals

bore them with rants on how stress pharmacy is (lol..)

spend more time with them

and appreciate every single moment we have together ^^

ok shifting to life in UM..

things have been under control so far
but pharmacy aint looking good
tests and more tests are coming soon
and omfg, the topics covered are huge!!!
physio, physical pharmacy, ppku and biochem
they're all coming like tsunami
and they're juz exactly like tsunami
destructive, dangerous, massive
heavy subjects
i wonder whether i have enaf time and brains
to even pass the paper, put aside scoring it
aikxxxx..... terrible
y do i land up with this course anyway
ystdy was debating with frenz bout
how life shud be carried out
enjoy and experience wat the world's gotta offer us
or bury in thick books and endless formulas
and hair-tearing theories
i mean its reli a waste of time going thru all these
going for exams(which is the only thing tat drives us to study)
and then *poof* we forget wat we learn
try throwing me a q on wat the structures of stomach is
and i'll stare at u blankly

see? see wat i mean by meaningless learning?
we dun reli apply wat we learn now in future
when i graduate(which i still doubt whether i can or not)
i wont be telling patients wat carbohydrates are
or wat is renal system
i'll juz prescribe them the medicine they want
for their headaches or severe skin allegies wat
reli reli dun und......

am gonna stop ranting.

rehearsal's starting. byezzzz

WOW.... ENJOYING LIFE RECENTLY....

2009-01-28T15:36:00.009+08:00

whalala~~ juz came back from penang. oh btw.... happy chinese Niu (moooo~) year!!!! with cash coming in now.... i juz wanna splurge it in shopping again!!!! woooohaaa! but aikx.... holz meanz study to me, coz my dear lecturers will never let me forget tat i still have mid-sem tests after cny ends. aduiiiii~~~

anyway, itz a week full of (^o^) to me so letz not spoil the mood! last monday and tuesday(20th-21st jan) :

SWIMMING COMPETITION, SUKMUM 2008/2009

well... on monday morning, i woke up with a lump in my throat. i was sick. diu... but tatz not gonna affect my spirit for the competition tat night!! aza aza fighting!! so we went to the sports centre where UM had tis large swimming pool. honestly i was very nervous, coz i've never taken part in such competitions b4.. and i dunno how good other competitors are.. and i got a feeling i shouldn't be there on that day. (a senior tricked me by saying "aiya... UM galz not many can swim 1. u sure can win de!")

ok cut short the crap. so, with juz three times of training after 2 yrs of quitting the swimming arena, there i was with my teammates, feeling all clammy inside. and then it rained alot, but luckily it stopped juz for the competition (phewwwww~). it started a bit late but splash splash and cheers, it was my turn. 5om freestyle was my 1st event. few of my frenz came to watch the event, and while i was on top of my lane nikku arrived and called out on me. i could only smiled back weakly ^^

Get set....... PHEEEETTTT!!!!

and the next moment, i realised my sprint has given me 1st place in my own hit. i was like.... ecstatic!!! i was 5secs behind to get the bronze thoughhh... so i juz settled with 4th den. but hey, i lost to ppl who represented the country and also those who took part in competitions b4. i was satisfied enaf, yet i was shuddering when i saw my teammates up there receiving medals. i'm gonna get 1 of those the next day!!!!!!!!!

2nd day: my back hurt alot. ystdy sprained it while i dived.(the cause: i've never dived b4 and i never knew how to and it was only ystdy i decided to. ==""). and i got a flu. caught a cold during the rain. warghhh!!!! competition was still on, muz continue aza!

anywayz, today was 100m, 4x50m and 4x100m for me. very heavy events. but it was also my last chance to win a medal!

it was a great day. for 100m, i actually competed against my buddy, MY! she was juz at the lane next to mine. whakaka. one of the rarest thing ever happened i think. XD

and...........................

yeah!!!! i'm proud and prouder to announce that i'm the gold and bronze medallist for 4x100m and 100m respectively!!!!!! whakakakaka. let the pictures do the talking~

Daniel and the galz. he was like, the superhero. 8 medalz in his possession! ><

1st college POWER!!!

ok, tatz me for 100m. haha. the gal in blue: she was the national swimmer! aww man... i'm so lucky to be standing beside her!!

4x100m powergalz! (i'm beside HJ again XD)

ME!!!!

My babies~

oh gawd, i've so much to talk bout the competition but i'm juz too lazy to blog it up. i lurve my teammates, and the bond we've formed was like so strong nobody will believe that we only knew each other within two dayz. (well, maybe only between me and the seniors XD). i lurve from meeting new ppl, to having ppl cheering on me when i was competing, the tiger souvenirs, the medals, the rain, the flu i caught, the backache tat was worth it, the competitors, the referees, the this and the that. ahhhh!!!! cant wait for the next SUKMUM (if i'm still staying in coll then) gonna train harder ady. yesh!!!

anywayz, let proceed. tat was me during last week's kempen derma darah (saturday, 17th jan). i was one of the AJKs but look at wat i did when i was too bored during my shift.....

Yupz, i donated blood!!! whakaka. again, it was my 1st time. i cant blif i was available to donate anyway, i alwayz tot i have a bit of anemia.... but doctor said my blood pressure was low so... wat shud i do then? hmm.... anyway, it sorta hurt a bit ( i felt tat probably coz i dislike needles ><) but imagining those sick ppl out there who need this 300ml blood of mine to save them from death, the pain was bearable. (as a medic-line student, thatz how i tink lolx). but surprising;y, the blood came out fast (the gal beside me: "wow, blood pressure low but y so fast the packet ady full?" me: "dunno la, weh..") and i didn't feel dizzy at all. in fact, i was practically turning around and wondering when can i get off the bed. (the nurse was fusing over so much. "sakit tak? pening tak?" waduhh....)

great experience..... ^^

and then on the same day, i had my pharmnite. it was at grand seasons hotel. ntg much to blog la act... kinda boring punye event... the best bit was able to dress up and looking like a princess. one time i was sitting at the lobby with my frenz to get some drinks, and there was this group of japanese tourists. one of the old ladies came over to our side and looking pleasantly surprised, and uttering smth in nihon at the same time. probably saying "wow, wat gorgeous ladies..!" XD

some ss picz...

lolxxxx~~~

oh yeah... i was chosen as MPA1's emcee! gosh.. anthr great news for me! ^^ i mean, i never tot i'll get thru tat. being emcee is smth i wanted for some time now, and then i wasn't very confident with it (many ppl auditioned for it, and some were emcees b4. me: nil experience) . but yeah, i got the role. i'm gonna give my best. i'm partnering a malay guy who was like so good, he's been emcee in several occasions b4. gonna take him as my sifu liao kakazz.... i juz knew i din wanna be sum1 unknown for this big event... *smiled sheepishly*

after term starts, there'll b Pharmacy's Family Day and also coll's CC dinner. surprised i join smth cc organised? haha yeah tis's my 1st ever activity i'm involved lerrrr..... i'm juz gonna enjoy, have fun and b myself. coz i knew.. i've achieved so much so far and it has done me proud of myself. needless to say, i'm still trying to gain the self-esteem back in me and i knw i can do it.... to seal any unnecessary feelings tat can upset me, to be sum1 happier, and to take things step by step. one day.. i'll make ppl c who the real me is and to discover tat i'm not juz a nobody. i may not prove it today, maybe not tomorrow but i'll b 1 one day. i will not bother bout those narrow-minded ppl who only getz around friendly with the hoohaa ones, and hardly smiled when the quieter ones waved at them with a hello. tatz hurting man... but look at me, wat i've gotta tell u. i dun care.

do i sound cocky? no no no... i'm juz expressing wat i feel. lolx

wat long post. *tired* enaf laaaaa......

A BITTERSWEET WEEK =)

2009-01-16T10:07:00.004+08:00

blogging this while in the comp lab for kemahiran maklumat. one of the most sien subjects i've ever seen in uni, besides titas and h.etnik. ==''''

this week passed faster than last week, and i can consider it as a very roller-coaster type of week. started off din reli feel happy with everything, with my old 'disease' attacking me again and needed 45minz of counselling from mom. plus with some bad news here and there had upset me real alot.

exhausted and fed-up

T.T good thing i left my stuff at home and needed mom to take it for me. she gave me a hug which almost made me burst out crying again in less than 24hrs but hey, i felt so much better and optimistic after that.

ok stop blogging so emo-ly. proceed.

it was wednesday when my mood finally improved. had english on that day (oh gosh, i love miss steffi alot. she reminded me of miss sheeda, my english lecturer when i was in matric. how come they alwayz managed to gain my admiration? XD) and we had this lil role play regarding different types of communication, and my group was supposed to act out downward communication, which was about a senior speaking to the junior.

MF came out with this fantastic idea on "eh, let's do orientation week. we're orientators, then we get the others to b the freshies." we agreed on that instantly.

it was hilarious and quirky, i'm telling you. MF and i were like yelling at our teammates (they were the so-called freshies) and threatening them with the same pattern as wat we hav gone thru last time. the prob is, we were stealing silent laughters all the time bcoz it juz din feel right to be doing that on our peers. one of our frenz recorded the whole play and i still laughed at it till today

=D

anyway it was definitely enjoyable. and miss steffi was amazed at the way our orientation is carried out. lol....

too bad my sore throat gotten a bit worse on that day and i couldn't eat properly. that night, after i finished my coll project, a fren of mine gave me his medicine for my throat. much better now. ^^

will blog bout my swimming competition soon.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, PEEPS!!!!!!!!

2009-01-03T14:48:00.002+08:00

rite i'm not gonna repeat that.

HAPPY NEW YEAR AGAIN!!

well today's 3rd jan ady and i din get to update it right after 12midnite on 1st and all i did was laze around and going to the bookshop and pouring over lilian too's 2009 feng shui book and oh come on, itz still new year guyz!

anyway, with 2008's gone now meanz i'm having new resolution(s?) for this yr:

a) i want to be slimmer and 45kg. possibly wearing S-sized shorts. yeah yeah, it's alwayz de same ever and i'm still saying this for anthr yr *threw dirty looks at the potruding tummy*

b) i'm not gonna procrastinate in watever i do. esp in my studies. (22 credit hrs, omg!)

c) i'm gonna b more ladylike, and that meanz HEELS! dear was juz telling me ystdy how she was addicted to heels and (with capital letters) told me to get a pair too.

and tis's wat i said: "ok. i'll b getting it on my 19th bday." lollxxx

talking bout heels, i lurrrrrve Prada! wait till i got ka-ching 1st.

and also their totes.

and that LV! *dreamy*

anyway moving on. has anyone mentioned to u a story about a girl with two plasters on her foot and whining on aching arms for some bad incidents the day b4?

u c, wat reli happened is ystdy i went to the library after class to borrow some reference books. (resolution (b) in progress keke). so i found two which i wanted and goddamn, they were like all 7 harry potter series stacked up together. plus with my file, i had to look sideways for me to walk without tripping on rocks or stairs.

and then to make things worse, my shoes were biting off my skin. (can my feet have grown over the holz? ToT). so i walked from faculty back to my college by taking exactly 20minz, with two books and a file in my arms and shoes that were killing me. raindrops can b felt on my forehead and i was like, "oh no, not now. i dun have 3rd arm!"

so tatz it. gonna wear sneakers to cover that ugly plaster-ed foot next time

WAT A BORING FIRST DAY BACK.....

2008-12-30T10:30:00.002+08:00

juz came back from dept. dr.mike came in, talked for about 15minz, persuading us to buy a book tat cost rm76, and then elected a new class rep, and thatz it. worse still, i saw the timetable for this sem and kns! itz damn packed. even on friday we hav lectures till 4pm. hopes to go home early came crashing down on me. T.T

aih... i'm plain homesick now. hate it whenever this feeling comes. new sem juz started and i'm already dreading it. grrrrrrr.............

bored.. later 3pm is physio. wat am i gonna do for this 5 hrz..???? arghhhhhh.........

dead miserable.

RANDOM PICZ~

2008-12-25T22:37:00.005+08:00

let the picz do the talking~~ cheerzz! ^^

tat day my bureau was supposed to draw stage design for MPA1 and it shud b picturing the scenery in the pyramid. and all i saw when i searched on it on9 were stone walls, rocks, and stairs. even the Queen's chamber looked more like prison in Harry Potter's movie, only that it is surrounded by rocks.

during the process of drawing the design, smth came out..

i wonder wat reaction will the advisor give if i submit this... XD

final result.......~~

tadaa~!!

letz continue.....

xmas tree made of roses in sunway pyramid.

tang yuan day. see the green 1. extra large done by me

lol... nicely arranged by me

camwhoring at fitting room

dadadididudu~*

oh for the singapore trip picz, plz feel free to visit my frenster profile. lazy to upload twice, esp in blogger. nyak!

nitezzzzzzzzzzz

MERRY CHRISTMASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

2008-12-25T13:21:00.004+08:00

HOHOHO!!!!! santa suyuen wishes everyone that reads this a very very merry xmas! XD last few days went shopping for xmas presents at everywhere in kl. i was the last to get all the gifts due to my cerewet attitude =="" mom brought me to mid valley bcoz i wanted to get my Momoe bag as well. since the model i wanted is sold out, i console myself by getting two different ones but simply gorgeous from the same brand.

*happy*

den, we looked around for sis's present. mom wanted to get her a sling bag, so i helped her to choose this very girly but suitable for my sis's taste (i guess) from Lulu Belle. den i got her a wallet from Girls. a shiny purple 1 and definitely girly too. hmmm.....

for Dad, i got him a Forest t-shirt. beige with gold designs tat formed beautifully around the chest and shoulders. for mom, it would b pair of nice sandals. cant stand her walking around malls with slippers.

oh, i'm so in the mood for xmas. love this festive day ever since i was young. den we bought this cheap baby xmas tree from jusco ( mom said: let's put our presents around this tree on xmas. juz for the feel of it. wat do u think? me: good idea.! u're a darling, ma ^^) and i rmbr standing at the gift-wrapping counter where mom was having our presents wrapped, i uttered nonsense to her. i said, "i wish that i would wake up on xmas day and santa claus had my pimples removed permanently from my face." an indian lady in front of me turned and smiled at me. mom laughed. me smiling sheepishly. oops there goes me making fun of myself again.

on xmas eve, we had smoked turkey for dinner. den we put those presents out. gah, mom insisted on us opening them on xmas day, so sis and i were there admiring the nicely wrapped pressies. dad kept telling us santa claus will b coming from the window( i would like to c that if it reli happens. santa claus pushing his way thru the closed windows.with his cute round belly and large sack of presents). he reminded us about our tradition: hang ur socks up plz, or santa'll think u dont want presents.

ok..ok......

gahh, though santa never came to our house, i wanted my childhood memories to remain. when i was young, i believed in santa visiting us, hunting for our socks and placing pressies in them. every xmas eve nite, dad would play santa, sis and i would b pretending to b asleep. den he would come around us hohoho-ing and muttering "santa claus is here. are u asleep"? den we would wake up and catch him. holding waists, he would bring us around de bedroom to his 'home' and played till mom called us to keep our voices lower. lolxxxx.... i missed those times. on xmas day, we woke up early and screamed like lunatics coz we had presents from santa!!!

=D

den there comes the adolescent period where all these bedtime-santa is stopped but santa was still out there. i believed in it even during secondary skul!!! and then 1 day 'santa' sent me a wrong present. it was a M-sized pants. "mom, santa din know i've grown fatter this yr. how now??"

"nvm, we'll bring u to the mall to change the size later. i still have the receipt here."

well, reality hits den.

so, since then xmas presents are exposed. we asked each other what they want. lol.

*jingle bells, jingle bells
jingle all the way~*

take a look at the xmas celebration in my house:

ok those momoe bags are not counted. i syok sendiri put it there, juz to make it look like i've got lotza presents whakaka

P/S: can u c the socks at the tree and the red 1 behind? XD

dun touch those pressies k, baby.

guess wat i got tis yr!!!!???

dang dang dang dang!

-majolica majorca lipgloss and blusher *squeals hard* (mom, lub ya!)

-card reader

-a cosmetic set from sis (muaxxxx....)

-reload card (thx dad.. ^^)

-bracelet from vincci

omg, i lurrvvveeeee xmass!!! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

den we went out for shopping today. dad wanted to belanja us at The Ship, but they only had xmas offer meals. nahh.... maybe some other day.... so he told us that wat ever we wanted to buy will b on him. but the tarikh luput is today. he said the santa in him gotta back to north pole later. alaaa...... if only the valid date is due tomorrow. coz we're going pavilion and i can splurge on some expensive stuff... shhhh...... XD

merry xmas everyone!!!!!! i'm sooo happy ^^

my family roxxx.....~

DISAPPOINTING DAY.... T__T

2008-12-18T21:23:00.002+08:00

soli for the very long absence. been quite bz recently and plus with my laziness, tis blog seems abandoned by itz owner.

anyway, juz back from singapore last week. it was a 3 dayz 2 nitez trup. will blog bout it soon with picz if possible. definitely not in the mood for long post today.

YYYY?????

i felt so miserable for wat happened today. never in my life was i so disappointed when shopping. and i've learnt my lesson too. tat is: if u like them, get them FAST!!!!! dun f*ckingly waste ur time trying to "aiya, giv it a few more months 1st la, maybe will jatuh harga". DON'T!!!!

wat reli happened was, i saw this superbly gorgeous bag from Momoe. and it was 83bux. for my std, it was considered pricey. ok fine, i wait till sale. now sale, it was 70bux. and yet with my "save more" attitude, i decided to wait la. since i saw that bag in almost all outlets in KL shopping malls, i tot i'll get it after i got my salary from my tuition sessions.

so i went to 1U today, and i walked in Momoe with high hopes, and dang! that bag was gone. frantically i searched the whole shop for 3 times, scanning every angle and nook and junction and corner. and i still cant find that darn thing. so i requested for the shopkeeper to giv a call to other outlets. and can u believe this?????

"sorry miss, the bag that u wanted is sold out in other places too."

no way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how can this b happening to me????????? i was like "u muz b kidding me, i dun blif that bag is selling like hot cakes ever since i fell in love with it. watz tis????"

haizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... someone, plz console tis poor lil dejected gal. till now when i'm typing this, i still felt like crying and the disappointment is seeping all over me. T__T

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~~~~~~~~~

MADAGASCAR-ED TODAY XD

2008-12-03T23:23:00.002+08:00

went to midvalley(again!) today with my senior. and thank god my eyes weren't swollen. (thankx to 10 promises to my dog, which made me cried b4 sleep) wouldnt want to go out for movies looking like a retarded human fish. ==""

anyway after collecting our ticketz (good thing we booked it early, the queue was mad. ) we walked from midvalley to the gardens and back to midvalley. juz to find a place for lunch =P partially it was my princess attitude tatz so choosy whakaka~

watched madagascar after that. which was a reli funny movie ^^

then, we went shopping (it was me). he kinda surprised me coz willing to look at clothes and accessories with me. i alwayz tot these stuff would bore guyz XD

later, i even had him going for gui ling gao coz i nvr tried it b4 lol.

reli had a great time today la basically. was greatful of him being so caring. (thankx yah!!!)

"plz, even if u're not happy today, tell me that u're happy."

lol, dun worry. i am.

THE LONGEST DISTANCE EVER~

2008-12-03T22:54:00.002+08:00

there was once someone told me this

itz saddening when u actually like someone but he seems so far from u
u could only look, and not a chance to speak to him
to know him, to share his ups and downs
the twinge of jealousy when u saw him
with ur gal frenz
and u wish u were beside there
laughing and joking away
smiling at the look of his face

fairytales reli do not happen to me
but i recalled
that someone ask me this b4
which is more hurtful
not being noticed by the guy u liked
or breakups
i took the latter 1
for me
looking from a distance
and supporting him quietly
making sure his burdens are lessened
probz are solved, sadness is eased
and a smile is alwayz dere
i guess
thatz reli meaningful

so tatz exactly wat i'll b doing now
and still believing tat
my fairytale will become a reality soon

SHOPPING AND MORE SHOPPING

2008-12-01T22:11:00.002+08:00

went to 1U today. bought myself more clothes and a pair of gorgeous strapped sandalz from Vincci. reli spoiling myself like mad lately, and i'm loving it. XD

next week is anthr shopping spree with von dear this time.cant wait!! ^o^

camwhored with sis in Padini & Co. (P/S: look at those heelz. *sweet*)

newayz, went to a dinner with mom and sis ystdy at the Chinese Assembly Hall. then, mom only had two ticketz, and i was supposed to be the 'outcast'. and guess wat, they had extra ticketz and i was actually placed at VIP's table!!!!! the most front and centre of all with yellow cloth! whakaka

next to me were these two kidz, and i can c that they're also separated from their parentz, juz like me. so i got to babysit them lik taking food for them. i felt so old =P

and then they hav this lucky draw in the end where at one point, they act gave out these as prizes:

yup, chairz ==""" i was like, if my num kena for that four-legged thing, i'm juz gonna pretend itz not me. fancy having to travel in the car with this troublesome lucky prize swttttt

gotta zzz now. giving tuition tmr.. add maths == bitezzzz

SIEN SIEN SIEN!!!!!

2008-11-28T22:33:00.003+08:00

after blogging tis, i'm going straight to bed.

been spending my time watching 'corner with love' nowadayz. man, my hubby was killing me all the time with his charm!!!! let me introduce, the forever drop-dead-reborn-and-dead-again gorgeous human ever walked on the surface of this earth:

those beautiful eyes and crooked smile got me in heart attacks al the time. omggggg!!!!!!! and he's like so funny in there, especially with the appearance of his bestie, xiaogui who's also very kawaii in there!! lurve both of them!! support xiaozhu and xiaogui forever!!!!

whenever he sent his electricity all over me, i've got to

juz like this. ultraman defending himself from big ugly monster

if not i'll get short circuit XD

i wish and wish and wish i can meet both of them some day!

XDXDXD *lil galz dream*

seen such beautiful thg b4?

wu zhun, u're taking my place there XD

nitezzz XD

TIRED UPDATE ON SHOPPING and stalkers

2008-11-19T01:11:00.004+08:00

i'm gonna go straight to bed after this post.

basically i'm juz too tired to type out anything

but a great news: i've finished my examz!!!! wow, at last after months of tiring and stressful time, finally i can rest lerrrrr.......

so there goes my holidayz!!!!! yesh!!

today after examz, went out with a couple of frenz to mid valley. they wanted to watch movie, but i have a better idea. i wanna pamper myself with some expensive stuff (i mean, i deserve it ok....) so with liwen and jiajen, we went to the gardens to shop for evening dresses (for pharmnite la whakakakakakaka. jiajen: walao so early buy ah. later fat ady den cant wear.)

gosh, i never knew li wen was as materialistic as i am. both of us were like so fanatic over those designer wears and simply gushing over beautiful gowns. found someone who can join me in shopaholic club at last XD den we went over to midvalley, bought Gelato (superb ice-cream, but quite pricey there. tatz me and liwen XD). walk here walk there and finally reach jusco.

hands itching to shop (and i'm darn sleepy now), saw a nice t-shirt from chic avenue, grab it and headed to the cashier.

next was Marks&Spencer which i reli muz enter for itz chocolates. gawd, i actually found the mint choc that my family and i love soooo much( and which cannot be located at anywhere else ^^) but i din buy it. instead i saw anthr equally delicious choc cookies and bought it for my mom. (thx for everything, mom. u're such a beautiful gift to me. muahx)

next, itz time to hunt for nice clothes. went to many shops and finally settled at ROMP. when i alwayz thought that shop offers only faded jeans and dull colored t-shirts, i realise most of the style i'm looking for are in there!!!!!!! happy!!!! bought two gorgeous blouses (smth sophisticated yet young-looking, i'm dying for this style. lurve ROMP!!!)

prices are reasonable too XD

ok i've to admit, my wallet has a big hole now. (liwen was hinting tmr she wanna go sg.wang. and i'm like' "come on, babe. lets go. shopping queens cant stop 1.)

i dun care. i havent bought nice shoes and accessories yet. XD

normally i reli dun shop like tis, but i'm juz so in the mood for it today!!!!! wargh!!!

went to ss2 for steamboat, but mana tau ady bankcrupt. den went to murni, which has so good business there's only left a place of two for candlelight dinner. and there's 7 of us. so how???? simply find 1 restaurant to eat lorrrr.... whole day walk2 ady wat also can eat de.

and a senior msg me later. " eh juz now u're at murni?" , "ya, i was. how u knw de?" "saw u ler, but not sure coz din wear specs." hmm....

*yawn*

tmr going sg.wang!!!!! lollll!!! enjoy 1st b4 i've to work hard for mpa1.

and i fuckingly hate someone right now. call me rude, i dun care. he's like, half a stalker. come on la, watz the matter with u?? i'm not close with u at all. y ask me for lunch together, ask wat am i doing, ask eat ady anot shit ady anot exam how was it. today i got so pissed off. i din reply him. and he sent 'yerrr no reply de. wat u doing now? outside now?' god, plz make him disappear. i hate ppl who's laidat, esp guyz. probably itz bcoz i have similar experience in KMJ and the whole thg turned out sour. till now i'm stil quite traumatised (it sent chills down on me =( ) whenever i thought bout it. and now, itz happening again!! i'll do anything to stay outta all these freaks' wayz. i'm mean, so wat? plz larrrr... get lost la.... u're fuckingly wasting ur time. dun make me hate u more than i do now. though i may not display it. fuck off la. leave me alone.

disgusting.

guyz, plz learn: this's not the way for u to show concern ok.

and he's hinting to treat me a meal if i'm still in college. wtf! meal from stalker is poison to me. i'll give any excuses, as long as i dun have anything to do with him. help me arrrrr!!!! can someone plz invent stalker-spray ah???

hope he doesnt read this and thinks itz him. i hate certain ppl, but i dun make enemies

going to zzz now. nitez

EXAM PERIOD TOO LONG LA... BOH MOOD

2008-11-16T16:27:00.002+08:00

and with tis, only left 1 more paper to go.

last week's statistics:

2 hourz

finished answering and checking after 1 hr 15minz. one guy ady left the hall.

decided to jangan berlagak pandai sangat, so checked again (this time slower)

after 15minz, walao eh still got half an hr! ==""

looked at my fren. seemz to be still writing away. the gal behind me pressing the calculator so loudly. checked again XD

"ok first years, u're not allowed to leave the hall 15minz b4 the paper ends."

studentz leaving the hall like mad

scanned thru the buku sifir out of boredom ( duwan leave hall la.... not used to it)

after the paper:

"suyuen, if juz now i leave early, will u follow?"

"yup."

"den say earlier ma. i also wanna come out 1, but i scared later u still wanna b in there."

"walao,aunty.. i also waiting for u de leh.."

so tatz basically wat happenz when the time duration is too long.

now left basic pharmaceutical chemistry, which i hate alot

those notes looked as if the lecturers were in bad mood when they prepared it. one word: useless

==""""

and i've ady finished designing for the backdrop whakaka XD hopefully it'll b chosen for this yr's MPA1 ^^

planz and more planz for holz.

who has 'lan qiu huo' and 'ming zhong zhu ding wo ai ni'???????? plzz lend it to me lerrrr~~~~~

and who wanna watch madagascar with me? (can hear von saying: duh madagascar... twilight's better) i dun care. i wanna watch them move it move it XD

ok. study. wont zzz at 12am to9 (say only....whakaka)

2008-11-11T07:30:00.001+08:00

2 more papers to go lalala~ (sipping coffee)

XD

i can already imagine myself vacation-ing by now lolll

2008-11-09T23:29:00.001+08:00

there's a damn big ulcer in there, and i've alwayz tot itz sore throat. kns

pain~!!!!!!

tmr organic chem and i'm still blogging here

to nikku: i hate u XD

ANOTHER LAME POST XD

2008-11-08T16:43:00.002+08:00

bila suyuen penat baca buku kan (ya ke..?), apa dia suka buat???

time to crap again.

since i cant talk much, i'll type it out. (sobz, sore throat's killing me) whenever i swallowed, i go ouch and "pain arr!"

=="""

ok anyway.. recently (not exactly) in friendster, i spotted some 'cutesy' behaviour from some galz profiles.

and that is indulging into typing wordz like

orhx, yarhx, larhx, lorhx.

can someone explain to me where does this word came from ah? or where have they take the initiation to learn it?

i reli dun und leh. i've some interpretation for those wordz

orhx =ox = kerbau?
yarhx = yucks = disgusting?
larhx = lucks = tuah banyak banyak?
lorhx = locks = mangga pintu?

aduiii....

fren: u look pretty in this primary photo

'cutesy' gal: thankx yarhx. u also veli leng orhx =)

translated in my version - thanks disgusting. u're pretty too ox.

gawd, tatz scandalous.

and anthr thg that i cant stand is ppl putting up zhilian photos with captions like 'i look fat' and ' my face is so ugly'.

uhh, y put it up for the public to see if u knw u look bad in there???

swttttttttttt""""""""""""""""""""

dunno which is worse, the photo or their pretentious attitude =__=""

and with posting bulletins like "lololalalililulu upload new photos orhx,plz give commentz yarhx"
reli irritates me big time. are they so desperate in seeking for attention ah?

*suyuen faints*

ok, go study. 3 more papers to go. XD

2008-11-07T15:34:00.002+08:00

ok, i'm supposed to find ideas for my MPA1 backdrop but all i did was

busybody-ing ppl's friendster profiles
msn-ing with palz
walking around and complaining about hot weathers contributing to sore throats

aikxxxx!

anyway, physiology juz over today. and gawd, the way we're acting, itz like as if finalz has over! coursemates ran out to sg.wang for karaoke (i ran back home XD), some were let's c.. onlining now, go for yamcha bla bla bla.

give us break lor, been working hard like bulls cramming in stuff like anemia and respiratory disease, heart disease, watever disease and facts that will never end. ==""""

one guy was even heard saying, "ohhh finally the largest burden is over. the next few subjects were my strength. good."

urgh, u wont catch me uttering that till i graduate.

will study tonight. not in the mood now XD weii, help me think wat to design for eygptian nite lerrrrr....

pharaoh?

big big pyramid?

weird symbolz with dog-like creature and semi-naked men?

cleopatra? (mom was talking bout women in veil juz now. hope we get to dress like those on MPA day XD)

good thg my pal will help me with the designs (guyz, i suck in adobe photoshop nor...)

but she need a draft from me

and i need ideas!!!!!!!!!

CUTE SHOTZZZZ

2008-10-29T18:25:00.003+08:00

meet our baby lollxxxx

help me!! molest ahhh!! hahahaaa

watching me when i'm benkyou-ing ^^

no matter how stressful and busy u are, i'll be with u =D

If u want, i can accompany u to study too !

aikxxx sleep liao wer????!!!

lol........ i'm so pathetic XD

URGH...... LAME POST

2008-10-29T17:51:00.003+08:00

short random post to compensate for the long abandoned blog. been very bz preparing for (aikxx) finalz...

sobzzz plz plz plz let it end as soon as possible... reli beh tahan liao

got my holz plan properly. and the first thg i'll do is to go shopping for pharmnite with meihui. and i'll brush up on my driving and cooking skillz. go yamcha with frenz and catch up with old times. go for a vacation. watch and drool over xiaotian in his new drama. watch and drool more over xiaozhu in lan qiu huo XDXD and if possible....

i wanna meet up with KMJ DS-es!!! gawd i reli missed them like hell. that's where i actually found myself, having fun and laughing and crapping away. haizzz..... itz so different compared to uni. i mean i still clicked with my new frenz, but it was never the same as before. kmj was reli a happy memory for me. i had a past that will be envied by some ppl. smth tat i cherished and hope to create the same in uni as well............

talking bout uni.... i've decided to (lalala~) stay in college no matter wat! if i dun get it, i'll appeal sampai dapat. lol...

reason???? i want to see that person till he graduates XD then i'll move out XD

cough. (=.="")

go benkyou now!!!!! byeeeee! jiayou jiayou jiayou!!

PoPuLaRiTy. DoEs It MaTtEr???????????

2008-10-05T18:55:00.002+08:00

since there's nothing much going around lately, so i'm gonna start crapping again. our topic today is:

Popularity among us

XD

Case No.1
-in high school-

there was this notice on the board for the Top 10 studentz in Final Examination, and my big name was there. Staring at it, sudddenly a gal came with her fren and looked over my shoulder. "Wong Su Yuen? Shui lai de?" (meanz 'Who's that?') Irritated, i turned, gave her my sweetest smile and said, "Su Yuen is me lor." and pointed at my nametag. that gal saw it, with a stunned and sorry-i-din-know-it-was-u look, gave an "oohh.." while i walked away.

Case No.2
-also in high school-

"eh, su yuen ah. u c there. c that senior ma?"

"uh huh. Y?"

"i tel u hor, she alot of admirers wan leh. tat day they held a birthday party for her. her phonebook ah, so many frenz oh. so nice..."

"uh huh. so?"

"u feel she apa macam?"

"er.... u learn her la. tomboy haircut, change ur specs to those thick thick frames 1 (well, it was considered trendy among teenz), talk and walk cool, dun smile so much, juz laugh only when it was u who joke. confirm u can get admirers too. Mau ke?"

"wat la u...."

Case No.3
oh gawd, i cant believe this's happening to me. i'm talking too much. too hyperactive ady. now everyone knows me. too popular jor. i have so many nicknames from them. plz dun add anymore. beh tahan leh. but i still wanna mix with many ppl! i want know more of them. not only with the same ppl i'm hanging out with. veli veli sien de leh..

someone else: haiz.... i'm too quiet. nobody notices me. not like her/him, can talk talk talk and play here jump there. aiyor.... want learn meh??? difficult leh. later ppl say me this and that.

so, the question is:

is popularity so important???

reli dunno.... anyone can tell suyuen??

Gui Ling Gao yang sedaapp.... XD

2008-10-03T16:43:00.002+08:00

been hibernating in home lately. good thg the fungi havent grow around my butt yet.ystdy instead of revising, i actually spent 6 half hours WATCHING TV!!!!

-MTV asia awardz
-victoria beckham and princess diana's life story
-hokkien drama (walao suyuen watch this 1 ah??? lol)
-taichung dance concert

tatz y pia organic chem till 1am... whakakakaka

sis said smth thatz reli funny (for me la) ystdy:

after questioning her taste for lengzai,

sis: "beauty's in the eye of the beholder."

me: "oh ya.. u're rite.... watz the real meaning of this whole proverb act?"

haha knew wat it meant ady, juz wanna bully her

sis explained.

me: "so u're which 1? the beholder?"

sis: "ofcoz! if not?? the beauty ah?"

*ROFL*

ahem.. maybe it wasnt tat funny but it got me laughing even when i'm typing this out. XD

mad suyuen....

oh yeah, i'm obsessed with xiao chu!

went for lunch juz now at my fave restaurant.

after finish eating,

mom: "eh u say want try gui ling gao rite? neh, here got sell. mau ke?"

me: nodded and smiled like idiot

sis: "very bitter and nan sek 1 leh. muz put honey only nice. like herb taste."

me: "ahh, wanna try only. never eat b4 ma..."

came tis black black thing called gui ling gao and also itz partner, honey.

scooped a bit (mom: take more la, so scared for wat? XD)

poured alot honey (in case if itz reli very bitter)

mmmmmmmm........... one word.

NICE!!!!!

whakakaka living this 18yrz and i've actually never tasted this stuff b4, so ridiculously pathetic punye human. and if itz not bcoz my fren once mentioned to me b4, he said:

"mid valley's gui ling gao got eat b4 ah? very nice man.! eat once and u'll want to go there eat everyday ah. eat tat ady confirm exam score well!"

wow, got so geng!!? *naive*

ok, enaf of crap on this black jelly. i'm a fan of it now XD

the damn ulcer is killing me

T__T

ahhhhh....... 2 more dayz b4 returning to uni....
Gambatte-ne!!!

Be strong..

2008-09-27T18:13:00.002+08:00

Posted the song below as it represents exactly wat i'm going thru now...
it painz me deep inside.
it tires the hell out of me.

y shud i try so hard to
be in a position where i know
i'll never be happy
it'll only make me
feel inferior
all the time

ppl said, u juz have to be urself
yes i wanted to
i told myself
that u're who u are
u're not someone else
u dun need to
the mask shud be thrown away
reveal who u are exactly

but y do i push myself
to a limit in this society
causing all the misery in me

i know the feeling of being overshadowed
i suffered from it
i wanted for ppl to notice me
for who i am
and not someone
ppl wanted me to be
yet i still hold the mask
walking around and fooling myself

am i happy with it??

shudn't everyone b given a chance
to prove who they reli are
instead of only noticing
the greater ppl around them
and sideline the rest
itz unfair
life's unfair
i've never been
more disappointed with life
life's so fcuking unfair

mom, u're such a darling. ur wordz have been comforting ones. i appreciate it.

i promise u, i'll stay strong.

2008-09-27T18:07:00.001+08:00

REFLECTION

Christina Aguilera

Look at me

You may think you see

Who I really am

But you’ll never know me

Every day, is as if I play apart

Now I see

If I wear a mask

I can fool the world

But I can not fool

My heart

Who is that girl I see

Staring straight back at me?

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

I am now

In a world where I have to

Hide my heart

And what I believe in

But somehow

I will show the world

What’s inside my heart

And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see

Staring straight back at me?

Why is my reflection

Someone I don’t know?

Must I pretend that i’m

Someone else for all time?

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

There’s a heart that must

Be free to fly

That burns with a need

To know the reason why

Why must we all conceal

What we think

How we feel

Must there be a secret me

I’m forced to hide?

I won’t pretend that i’m

Someone else

For all time

When will my reflections show

Who I am inside?

When will my reflections show

Who I am inside?

WOKE UP FROM NIGHTMARE, FINALLY!

2008-09-23T23:36:00.002+08:00

eurgh wifi's so lagging recently, so this post is kinda ystdy's newz XD

finally i've found the 'lost me' back. so happy with my lifestyle these few dayz. back to myself again is smth i've been seeking for previously. lolxxxx~

and then, heard a newz from my coursemate and it makes me feel even better whakaka. aint no telling but juz have to wish myself: suyuen, jia you! XD

anywayz, juz came back from helping out the ppum's kempen derma darah and also MPA1's meeting (lol the best AGM ever i think, if u knw wat i mean kekeke *sneaky*)

was great having ppl all around me again, smth that i enjoyed now and alwayz. unlike the times when i was still having those nightmares and decided to 'bury' myself, unseen and unheard. my gawdd...... i cant believe how stupid i was then. but yeah, good thg i'm back to being me again haha omedetou!!! XD

anatomy test tis coming friday *shivers*

11.50pm: msn-ing with pikachu and senior CT. and juz only arrived, sam. XD

so i guess thatz all. wanna chat with them now nitezzzz bloggie.....

DO BETTER FOR THE 2ND TIME!!

2008-09-17T21:44:00.002+08:00

anatomy resultz out yesterday.. well, it was ok i think but i wasn't that satisfied. a bit frustrated act coz i expected higher, and considering that many scored so high, i was feeling quite inferior. worked so hard for it but it din turn up as wat i've expected haiz... anyway... i wont be giving up that soon..

next FRIDAY: 2nd anatomy test. Jia you!!!!

been feeling more relaxed with who i am recently. learning to cope with my messy troublesome lifestyle that i had for the past few weeks, and happier now.. sometimes i still find myself wearing a mask and impersonating, like an actor. but it tires me alot. working hard to put a stop to those stupidity....

stephanie sun's 'wo de ai' on my media player now.... nice feeling

roomies not in room.. only me by myself. love it.

and is CC activities reli that important?? i mean, they keep pushing us to join this trip and go that activity. swtttt......... not being anti-social but i reli have no interest in those stuff and it irritates me whenever they do those pushing behaviours. drop it k....

and 1 more thg is, i actually got biro logistik and kemudahan for pharmacy's community service. omfg...... 3rd 1!!!! i was in the same bureau for coll's kempen derma darah and MPA 1 ady. shit..... dunno whether to say itz a good or bad luck. i mean, it wasnt even my top 3 choice. wanted smth more interesting but din get it. looking at the brighter side, at least i'll gain experience in erm.. setting up booths and exhibitions and helping ppl to carry stuff???? i dunno......

argh!!!! y is this happening to me.... TuT

i guess i'll juz accept it and give my full commitment ler.....

there they go again... anthr yamcha session. and i'm not going.. izit bcoz of exam stress or wat???? haih... watz becoming with my social life....? ==""""

SO TIRED.....

2008-09-12T01:16:00.002+08:00

itz 1.15am when i blogged this. listening to koda kumi's 'ai no uta'. been staying up tis late to finish the hubungan etnik project (it wouldn't have taken this long if i kept the internet and msn off XD) anyway, finally i've done it! hopefully everything will be acceptable to the lecturer.if not i'll reli cry my eyes out for one whole nite of complete waste of time.

feeling so exhausted..... din slept well last nite... was accompanied by disturbing images saw in one of my emailz ( dun feel like mentioning it. itz playing in my head rite now. been haunting me since ystdy yikiessss T__T) and also restless mind. and when i woke up at 6am, i realised the earphones were still plucked in my ears, yui's 'tomorrow's way' played in my phone.. gawd... meanz i slept the whole nite while 'listening' to music....which contributed to me falling asleep a few times in class today damn it.. ever since orientation over, this was the 1st time i felt sleepy again. so frustrated with myself (for looking at the mail) and the sender (for sending me such f*cking emailz).

omg... feel like throwing up now.... i hate that mail....... *screamz*

oh gosh..... stop thinking bout it plz.... class tmr starting at 9am thank god.... guess i better go brush my teeth and zzz now.... if only i can get some peaceful mind.....

going home tmr.....

ok, bed is waiting for me. nitezz... i mean morningzz......

and....

i reli hope to be juz myself......

NO TEST RECENTLY.... BUT CANT RELAX MUCH EITHER!!

2008-09-10T19:33:00.002+08:00

blogged this while in group discussion, trying to finish that hubungan etnik project. seriously, i wouldnt give a damn to this thing if itz not included into our grades lol.. hate all these time-wasting subjectz.. watz the point on telling ppl who're adultz to eratkan perpaduan antara kaum??? i mean, we've been hearing that since primary school dayz and the info sorta like immune in us ady, it doesnt give us any effect whatsoever. haiz.... suan liao....

anyway, today was juz another plain day.. looking forward to go home this week ( basically i do everyday haha) coz i wanna watch 'money not enough 2'!!!! yeah yeah yeah!!

ahhh... the feeling of finishing a test = finalz over lol.... been onlining and relaxing since yesterday... juz dun have the mood to study ler.... but this shud not be happening!!!!! i muz keep fighting!!! finalz muz gambatte!!!!!

juz let me relax till i'm satisfied 1st lar..... kakakakaka

talking crap again.... lolxxx... nothing much to say.. drizzling here... later got meeting for kempen derma darah aikxxx........

ciaozzzzzz.... zzz............

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN....?

2008-09-09T22:16:00.002+08:00

tis might be one of the most emotional posts in this blog.. feeling so down now. the tears juz wouldnt come down, leaving me to feel even worse. is that y ppl said once u're feeling too miserable, u couldnt afford to cry at all? perhaps itz true....

sitting comfortably at my room, blogging tis (finally i found the connection)

have u ever been feeling so close to someone

to have wonderful thoughts that u share so many similarities with them

leads to pure admiration, and that u're thankful

u get to know tis person in ur life, and they're there in ur heart?

but...

when they utter wordz that hurt

to the deepest of ur feelingz

it was merely juz their wayz to have fun

but imagine

if u receive it from someone

who u care and admire alot

it brought pain in ur heart

and yet, at the moment

when u felt like

running away and juz wanna cry out

u're forced to remain where u are

putting up a poker face

laughing along with them

and taking it as lightly as others

it tortures u more

de misery u felt

u juz wanna be somewhere, unheard and unseen

to relieve the knot in ur heart

thatz exactly how i felt now..

no one here will und me..

it was den added

when u have someone close to you

and yet somehow they're better than u,

they're liked by others, u're unnoticed beside them

u're shielded

itz not appropriate to compare

u are who u are

love yourself, love being who i am

but sometimes, the dilemma struck u

i wish i'm not alwayz landed in this situation

it pains me

get a grip, and be strong

nothing's more important than

to treasure what u have in life

life is short, there's alwayz wayz

to improve on urself

but staying happy

is what i need in being me

i juz hope

there's enough in me

for u to be proud of me

to ensure that ur decision is right

i shud not take too seriously with wat u have said

i respect u alot

AUDITION FOR VOCALIST????

2008-09-07T17:22:00.002+08:00

hoho physio test is coming tis tue, and i'm still onlining here like nobody's business.. juz hope i survived throughout the paper..

anyway, went audition for Festival Seni under acoustic music last week

was at the doorway and the first thing i saw was guitars and unfamiliar faces

ohmygod... shud i quit? i mean i dun even knw wat those strings on guitars mean..

decided to have a look in there

gosh coll's music room was nice. with sound-proff walls and shelfs of music intrumentz, drumz and air-conditioned

ok... tatz good..

so when they asked me wat i would love to auditioned for~

piano? sorry, i stopped tat long time ago so basically my knowledge in it is like.. telur goreng

so i guess i'll go for vocalist audition on 15th sept and perhaps join them in the band..

hung out at the place for almost 2 hrz to watch those guyz playing electric guitars and drumz and making good music outta them.

gosh, it was such great feeling, being so close to these sounds for the 1st time.

it reminded me of NANA the movie and gawd, i want to get into band!!

and if i did, the 1st song i'll sing with them is 'Glamorous Sky'.!

Argh! *squealz and hide under blanket*

XD

ok gtg now... will be back to uni later.... ciaoz...

btw.. my frenster profile got hacked for the 2nd time again.. haizzzzzzzz........................

CONFESSIONS OF A CONFUSED HEART

2008-08-30T17:38:00.002+08:00

am i going to be trapped in that 'web' again?

am i falling into the wrong hole once more?

how come this feeling is coming to me again?

*emo-ing*

when it happened some weeks ago
i cant accept it
it wasn't me

running away and avoiding is painful
facing it will make me
confused with
who i am
the true me

i blamed on stress
caused me to lose control
and my sanity

i denied the abnormality in me
but the more i did
the more pain i felt
i hate the fact that the person is sad
over someone special who has hurt itz feelingz
juz 1 reason
i knw i care so much for that person
and that it goes the wrong way
and making thingz worse
by confusing me

after that
i was normal again
the monster in me is dead

but now itz coming out again
i couldnt imagine this
plz plz plz!!
if i'm very sure with
this from start
it shudnt have happen again

i cant stay away from it
itz following me sometimes
it wasn't addictive
but i dont want it to
affect me
control me
possessed me
all over again!!

ppl are telling me
how lucky i am
the care that i received
and this brought
alot of admiration in me
for that person

but there was no way
that this feeling
shud be found out
by anyone
nobody will accept this
especially that person
it shud be juz
me and my best pal
know bout it

only she understands me

so juz let me
continue to care
and admire
this person
who has a place in my heart
plz get this feeling away
as fast as possible....

part two:

i'm still missing someone till now. everytime i sat by myself, the thought drifted in me. if only i could push aside the ego in me and juz ask how is everything going on.. but the guilt is still dere.. and only time will heal it..

ANATOMY TEST AND MERDEKA PARADE IN UM

2008-08-30T16:54:00.003+08:00

Last week was i guess, one of the most tiring weeks for me, besides orientation dayz. after watching formallin-soaked human organz(brains, intestines, legs, anyone?) and horrified by the fact that many of my course mates were darn good in memorizing anatomy notes, i hit the panic button. wtf, based on my knowledge tat subject, i would have probably flunk the paper cukup-cukup. so i set myself to work till early mornings to re-read my notes again, trying to stuff in as much as i could till my brain was saturated with scientific names and functions. and life was made more miserable for me as i was chosen to represent pharmacy dept for UM's merdeka parade.

and gawd, we pharmacy students had to dance boria. wtf, i dun even knw wat tat was. when i found it out, i went

Wat.
The.
*censored*

can anything be worse than this?

thank god physiology paper is postponed till next two weeks. if not, i would have die kao kao there, right in front of u.

anyway, i skipped some rehearsals due to the fact that it was a complete waste of time. i have got to finish reading for my test!! nothing is more important compared to my disastrous anatomy progress. reli tension momentz. and watching my roommate is no help either, she made me felt more stress. plus the thought tat she didnt need to waste time going for that parade thingie was painful enaf to bring tears to my eyes..

few hours before the test, had lunch with my next room neighbour during matric times, ying wei. gosh, i missed her alotz!!!! though i met her a few times in the cafe, i din get to chat with her and ystdy we did. and we chatted like how we used to. i reli missed all the memories we had in KMJ, she was such great neighbour and pal. when i told her i gotta go prepare for exam and to wish me luck, she said, "aiya, no need wish u the best, u're already the best." awwww..... wat sweet and meaningful things to say. love u! *hugz*

well.. i guessed the paper was ok anyway......

night: went to dtc at 8.15pm. it was drizzling a bit, but it stopped quite few minz later (good thing..). pharmacy studentz were supposed to perform in labcoats, so here we were in the beautifully decorated outfitz..

The pretty, professional ones: shinyi, siok hui, mun yin, sei ling, shy kee and me ^^

we waited for 3 hours juz to perform a 4minz dance. walao.... but the whole event was so lively and colourful. i din get the chance to watch at all (was standing on tiptoes to peep wat was happening on the dataran), but from those sounds and cheerz from audience, it must have been a great show. yet, suddenly a feeling came to me:

there was not much regret that i din get to be one of the audiences, coz being able to be a part of this event, when they announced, 'persembahan seterusnya adalah daripada kontinjen Kolej Pertama dan Jabatan Farmasi!' it brought pride to my heart lolxx~ (@^o^@)

labcoats helped alot.. kaka!

very disappointed with somebody after that.. her words were not true to her actionz.. letz not mention anymore.. the pain shud be juz buried deep in me, coz we were not destined to hate each other. there was too much to risk if we were not talking..

no one understands.. only my panda mommy does..

haizz

SAYONARA TO HOLIDAYZ ==""

2008-08-23T15:04:00.002+08:00

omg there goes my one week holidayz. itz gonna end soon lerr and the point is, i havent been enjoying at all!!

walaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!...........!!!!!!

watching taekwondo olympicz now. malaysia vs norway. norway leading with 3-0. hope for anthr medal is gone with the winds.....

summerlive concert starting tonight!!!! yatta~!!!

dunno wat to say. i'm practically crapping. my holidayzzzz........................................

bored...

MOVIES AND ANATOMY

2008-08-18T15:47:00.002+08:00

woke up early this morning to study anatomy. skeletal system. memorizing a bunch of complicated bone names and the even more difficult structures and functionz of them were reli giving me the headache. and after the test next thursday, it would be buried in ground, waiting to be digged out and stuffed into my brain again. aikxxx~ wat a complete waste of time..

anyway, went out to 1U with dear. she wanted to watch wall-e, and i juz wanted some break after a rough start of holz and also to stay away from the hateful anatomy. itz quite a nice movie la, with good animation and erm, cute robotz. but i fell asleep half an hour before it ended =="""" (dear: walao u reli geng leh. laidat also can zzz) wanna watch 'meet dave' soon. who's interested? XD

this's for dear, if u're reading this: thankx for being there for me whenever i need someone by my side. nothing's more comfortable than having u as my close fren, my ears to listen to my probz, my shoulders to cry on (though i never did that keke). u're almost equal to my mom, and i'm grateful with that. hope to learn from u more in the future on how to deal with my own affairs better. u're a great person, who has grown alot all these years. that is why i can cope with wat i'm going through now, only bcoz u're with me.thankx. muahx~ lol

2008-08-15T16:55:00.000+08:00

ANNUAL GATHERING OF PHARMACY DEPARTMENT 2008/2009
BY FIRST YEAR STUDENTS

Together Forever. Without unity, there is no strength in a community. With one determination and one voice, we stand strong above others. With an all-round approval from all the first year students, this is the theme for our annual gathering 08/09 : “Together Forever”. This event is held successfully every year and the most important thing is, it is organized by the first year pharmacy students, who then were still being acknowledged as freshies, for the lecturers and seniors. The objective of this event is to build strong team spirit among the juniors and also with others. It was indeed our big day throughout our 3 weeks of the department orientation. The hard work we put in, the frustration we felt, the tiredness we endured, the sleepless nights we had, were all for this gathering. Success is definitely what we had hoped for in this event.

The annual gathering was held at 25th July 2008 in Dewan Jemerlang. There were 5 bureaus; performance, technical, decorations, publicity & protocol and refreshments. With good teamwork, we managed to come out with a few good ideas for the performances. We had choir, combination of dances (comprising malay, indian, modern and boys dance), dikir barat, and drama. At the end of the performances, we would dance accompanied by our theme song, High School's Musical “We're All In This Together”.

The event kicked off with the superbly interesting candle performance. Next, it was the multimedia presentation, then followed up by choir, which comprised 16 girls. We sang along to the song “Voice of Tomorrow”. It was definitely a good start for this gathering as we not only managed to entertain the crowd, the ever enthusiastic Dr. Zoriah also joined us onstage. Dikir barat was next and they performed to the song 'Dikir Puteri'.

Then, it was time for the much awaited combination of dances. Students clad in beautiful outfits that matched with the type of dances they were involved in displayed their skills and brought up the high spirits among the crowd. The boys dance got the most cheers from everybody. Staff and seniors couldn't hold back to their seats due to belly-tickling laughs. After the marvellous performance from the dancers, it was the drama’s turn. The story was about a poor boy with big ambition who, despite facing many complications like having not enough money to fund his education, strived hard for success. He then graduated as a pharmacist. It was definitely a very entertaining and inspiring story, with great actors and props.

The finale was the best, where all the first year students rushed in from both entrances, with the theme song blasted merrily in the hall. We took turns to go upstage and danced energetically. Some seniors were even spotted joining us in the dance. It was undoubtedly a good way to end the annual gathering. After that, refreshments were served to the guests. Everyone was satisfied and contented during the whole duration. But, the happiest were still the 1st years, because we were finally approved as juniors!

In short, annual gathering 08/09 was a great success, and it was a good experience for all of us. It proves to us that unity is very essential in determining one's future, and that includes academic as well as developing our soft-skills in this pharmacy department. Let’s hope for the best together, forever.

(this report is done by me keke ^^)

UNI LIFE: I WASTE TOO MUCH OF TIME!

2008-08-15T15:42:00.002+08:00

finally another new update after a long long absence.

y? coz everyday busy.

busy wasting time.

today's first day of sem break. skipped tat lousy hubungan etnik to come home early. had four hrz of class today (normally only 1 hour. suddenly add a tutorial class and replacement for physio. sobz lecturers are big bullies....)

anywayz, will meet up with my good palz soon. but there's not much time for me to waste anymore. at uni is ady a nightmare. took part in coll's activities, hang out with frenz, shopping, pbsm, yamcha bla bla bla. ended up today when the pharmaceutical chem test results was out, i did..

badly.

T_________________T

it wasnt tat bad also act coz i'm among the average, but honestly, i know i've been lagging in my studies lately. i muz reli work hard!!!!! coz after holidayz, there'll b three papers and 2 of them are killer subjects for me.

physiology and anatomy. kill kill

my vow to myself:

no more pasar malams
no more yamcha
study whenever i have time
go back to kmj lifestyle

and

reduce pbsm is possible. if....

got chosen accidentally for perarakan kemerdekaan. walao eh all of a sudden!! din even get my permission yet and i saw my big name on that damn piece of paper. and they make the whole event sounded so worthful to join.

"u'll get two certs. one from pharmacy HEP and anthr 1 from 1st coll. maybe after this, ur chance to stay in coll next yr is much higher. 7pm to 9pm at dtc(no excuses for not able to stay under hot sun). still can go back home during weekends for merdeka holz. only need to practise a few times. join la. itz compulsory."

can i say no?

haizzzzzzzzzzzzz. thank god physio test is postponed till sept. if not, i'll reli kill myself coz of this.

dun feel like talking much.

will upload some photos on my orientation, annual gathering and the latest of myself soon. feel free to visit my frenster for picz as well ^^

HECTIC 3 WEEKZ!!!!

2008-07-22T13:06:00.002+08:00

Blogged this post in my classroom keke. and i juz found out that they did not blocked friendster webpage. woohoo!! so next time i know wat i can do if i'm bored in class XDXD

anyway, i knw it has been some time since i last blogged. according to my fren, this blog is soooo dusty. made me have to update it for the sake of updating. ok here i go again. crap is my number 1 talent.

orientation is still going on. and i mean faculty orientation. 3 weeks of climbing stairs, chasing seniors desperately for signatures (beware! they wont let u off so easily. let me c........ i've so far done singing, acting, making cards, cheering, etc juz to have them sign my paper. teehee), and having to "LOOK DOWN!!" when being orientated by them.

swttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but i aint no complaining, coz all these are nothing compared to wat we have to do during these 3 weeks. we have to organise some kind of stuff called Annual Gathering, and everyone is involved in it. i was the secretary and also in the choir. honestly, tis group faced the most problems among others. having to change the song at last minute kinda shook me up a bit. i mean..

nvm, forget bout it.

letz continue then. we finally found this song from last yr biomed's gathering, so now everyone is working hard to practise it perfectly. and i'm bound to train them properly before the real day. i'm reli reli RELI worried bout them (fell sick bcoz of this sobz). not that they're not working hard but juz tat itz not up to my expectation. nvm, juz have to give our best shots then.

anywayz, ystdy was the CC dinner and i cosplayed as michael jackson. kinda successsful actually haha and that's the only thg i'm proud of. tat i sorta looked like him bwahaha. but other than that, we have to perform and it sucks big time. tummy wasnt feeling so well and i was sick in the same time, so kinda affected my mood a bit. sighzz.......

PLZ GET WELL BY TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

will upload photos on me in MJ soon. here sgt tak fong bin. ciaozzzz

and i'm missing him. alot. though only saw him a few dayz ago.

haih........................................................................................................................

BUSY LIFE STARTING SOON..... REAL SOON.......

2008-06-27T10:23:00.002+08:00

huhu uni's gonna start tis sunday.... act i'm kinda excited but nervous in the same time.... and mygod, two months of holidayz ended so fast!!! been very very bz these few dayz ( gomene if i din or late reply msg and frenster's commentz k!). finished my medical check-ups (took 3 dayz to complete everything swt"""""" and the nurses din seem to be happy with the sudden increase of their workload.. = =""), went to the Bank Islam to pay for my orientation fees, shopping frantically for new clothes (urgh, no need for formal attires anymore, that meanz new wardrobe all over again. waste $__$!!)

so watz left now is: P.A.C.K.I.N.G.

aikxxxx....... i'm soooo lazy for this..... "evon ah, u can come help me anot??" XD

anyway, gonna collect my specs today. den evening will only start to kemas barang. procrastinate procrastinate.

not much time for me to online soon... so this blog might be abandoned for quite some time... unless i manage to get my handz on internet there kekeke....

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GALZ OUTING IN MIDVALLEY AND GARDENS!!

2008-06-23T09:10:00.002+08:00

went out with nikki to midvalley and the Gardens last friday...

Us!!

halfway thru lunch in Flying Chillies, May called up and asked where I am. so i told them and they came over to join both of us..

mygod i reli missed them alotzz, esp KMJ galz (kelly and May!! muaxxx!)

camwhoring in front of mirror again.... whakakaka

nice pose+pretty galz= best pic!! XD

the pretty four: suyuen, kelly, nikki and may

again and again XD

us in Flying Chillies. dunno y so far apart haha~

dunno wat else to blog.... anyway... uni starting soon (6 more dayz)

and i hardly prepared anything yet... swt"""""

PHARMACY IN UM??? OMG!!!!

2008-06-19T09:07:00.002+08:00

well, the title sayz everything.

wednesday
12.05am: pikachu and son msg- eh can check upu resultz online ady!

nervous-nyer!! dun care. sleep 1st. zzz...

6.30am: woke up juz to check the time. fon almost exploded with frenz asking, "what u get ah?"

no mood zzz ady. = =""

6.50am: saw - wong suyuen. farmasi. Universiti Malaya

omg

omg

OMG!!!!!!!

oh.my.gawd.

replied messages after that, telling mom and otherz bout it. dad called a short while later, sounding like he juz won lottery. and started to lecture me on how good that course was and that i shud not be so stressed out with it. okayyy.................................

mom came back from work *good mood* went to watch movie in kepong. KUNGFU PANDA!!!!! wanted to watch it since before it was released in cinemas. and omg (again), WAT A FANTASTIC MOVIE!!!! highly recommended!! i was like laughing throughout the whole movie, practically because of the hilarious scenes and also the influence of loud guffaw from the audience in my row. XDXD there was a character named Master Oogway (pronounced: oo-guay) and guess wat, it was an ancient tortoise. one of the boyz behind sniggered, "wu gui keke! XD" i couldn't help laughing at wat i heard too kakakaka....

anywayz, this is 1 movie that's worth ur time watching. no regretz. but dun enter in there with full stomach. i did and i had ache laughing so hard XDXD if given a chance, i would want to watch again though, this time with the chinese version ^^

aikx.... need to help mom to proof-read her bookz ady (check for spelling mistakes and stuff = =) ciaoz!!!

29th June coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-19T08:46:00.004+08:00

Finally i was able to post those picturez for 'Chocolatez, Orphans and Hacker'!! ^^

In Sunbeamz Foster Home:

kidz playing with bubbles

" " I'm the best guitarist herre. Watch me!!" XD

aww.....

THE CHOCOLATEZ, ORPHANS AND HACKER

2008-06-17T08:55:00.002+08:00

(listening to ayumi's together when... while blogging this) one week, one post. i cant believe how lazy i am. and to think june is gonna over soon, i hardly have at least 5 postz this month swt"""' but the fact is, there is reli NOTHING at all to blog. so i rather spend my time:

WATCHING DRAMA

XDXD

currently addicted to LAST FRIENDS also itz theme song, PRISONER OF LOVE. in love in love!!!!!!! heard that song earlier on but wasnt so excited with it. and when the 1st episode of Last Friends started itz intro, i have been repeating this song like about 10times a day XD

2 actorz were from NODAME CANTABILE, also a very nice drama. omg!! Nodame (Juri Ueno) herself is in Last Friends too ^^ love her soooo much in nodame, with her weird hair and clothes and even weirder attitude. so u can guess how confused i become when i watched the serious side of her in Last Friends. cant get used to it yet XD anyway will continue to watch it (still in episode 7. 4 more ep to go XD)

anyway, y am i talking bout drama XD

last saturday, went to cocoa boutique near MTC. (with mom's skul's interact club memberz)

oh wait a minute..

DUE TO SOME TECHNICAL ERRORZ IN BLOGGER, I CANT UPLOAD PHOTOS. WILL BE DOING THAT SOON AFTER EVERYTHING IS FIXED

ok continue... we watched the presentation but i wasn't paying attention ( never changed since secondary skul. but come on, who will???? and that guy was speaking like as if he wanna catch the last train home) . watched how they made chocolatez and the machines and gadgetz as well. ntg much there. but the displayed chocolates were cool, and the chocz they sold were even cooler. according to them, u cant get those anywhere in msia but here. so v bought some of them ( i got smth called Espresso. itz dark choc with coffee bean in it. syok-nyer~~!!!!! huhu in the midst of enjoying it, i'm gaining excessive weight sobz)

next, we went to SUNBEAMZ ORPHANAGE to pay a visit. 900 kidz live there, though we only saw 40 that day. we blew bubbles, had colouring contest and pizza with them. i wasnt there to accompany them though, coz i went to Domino's to pick-up those pizzas with a teacher and my sis. bless them, they're nice kidz and i wish that they'll be successful one day ^^

now, my friendster profile got hacked a few dayz ago!!!! itz by a 23 year old Philipino guy named Bantotan. wat he did was, he added some kind of weird html in ur add media file. so that when u opened ur profile, it would straight link to his profile without displaying urz and can u believe this, it would automatically add him as friend! wtf! i was like devastated with the whole thing. could it be bcoz i din log out ( i nvr did) so this hacker got his chance? but shouldn't be that, coz a fren of mine did log out too and her profile was still ok. anyway, many ppl's profiles got hacked as well and that hacker's was bombarded with many commentz scolding and cursing him. they even post buletin on how to solve the problem. so thank god now it is fixed ady ( hope so, coz sometimes when i open profiles i still have the html appearing in my add media) but juz now checked again, and i think itz finally gone for good. now i dun have to open new acc ( i was about to do so). i was thinking, if that person can hack frenster accountz, watz the point of opening anthr 1?

so, to all the ntg-to-do weirdos out there, instead of creating troubles and have ppl hating u for ntg, y dun u join me in watching Last Friends? XDXD to think that i still can talk rubbish here when i got so pissed off with tat hacker last few dayz. haha k gtg ady. long post to make up with my lack of interest in blogging.

btw....

UNI RESULTZ WILL BE OUT TMR!!!!!!!!!!!

(i'm keeping my fingerz crossed! ^^)

ciaoz~~

NOTHING MUCH...

2008-06-09T09:44:00.007+08:00

Been ages since i blogged. quite busy nowadayz and plus, nothing much to blog so i juz waited till i have lotza stuff to put in here XD went to Thean How Temple near mid valley tat day. ( it was actually a trip to visit my aunt at the condo, and next to it was this very beautiful temple ^^)

had some quick poses with the 12 chinese horoscopes :

went to the temple to pray later but din manage to take photos coz, i thought itz kinda disrespectful.

anywayz, tingyi aka takeshi (self-proclaimed lengzai whahaha) came to kl tat day. went to midvalley to meet him up with huiyee. since there was not much time for movies, so we juz hung around in shopz ( i was the one dragging them to those places coz i was looking for something XD) we bought him a necklace (no photos available) as a souvenir from KL. hope u like it ^^

Us!!

this's an extremely cute photo taken by me, featuring my superbly adorable lil frenz XD

went to cameron highlandz last week : 29th may- 2nd july. dun feel like talking much. *lazy* so i'll juz include some picz here.... wat laa... a pic representz a thousand wordz mar... check out my frenster profile for more picz anyway ( i took 318photoz in total. siao!! @___@)

keke.. mostly are my zhilian photoz. *yawnnnn* go watch drama 1st. tata!!

FROM KL TO KUKUP.... SO FUN!!!

2008-05-29T16:21:00.003+08:00

WAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

long time din blog in here. tatz bcoz i was busy with vacation nowadayz haha.

26th MAY 2008

Meihui, kelvin and jinhao arrived at kl. went to fetch them from pudu station. so HAPPY to meet u guyz again!!!! all of us were from the same lecture (kuliah hayat 3) so can consider very close coz we sat together during lessonz lolxx. anywayz, letz cut the crap shorter. went to times square for lunch. after tat, itz SHOPPING TIME for meihui and I!! though my legz were still numb coz went shopping at 1utama th day before, i still manage to walk non-stop for 4hrz, accompanying meihui to shop for clothes ( she's a true shopaholic!! in the end, she bought 2 pairz of shortz, a bag and a T-shirt. me: empty-handed) the guyz: stood at 1 corner and ate ice-creamz. whahaha i wonder if next time they still wanna follow galz out for shopping anot XD

walked over to sg.wang later to take 'da tou tie' ( not uploaded in here. ) basically i was having fun decorating the picz ( can spot the difference. those with alot of decor were done by me. kaka ) and the rest were struggling to do theirz haha. nevertheless, we enjoyed it ( though a bit tired ). took LRT and ktm back. mygod.. so many ppl during tat time!! we're sandwiched in the train ( luckily i was standing beside jinhao, someone i know. dun reli fancy being surrounded by strangerz, esp if they emit nice smellz >< ) by the time we got out from the train, i was quite wobbly and sesak nafas ( lucky jinhao. u so tall ) XD

went for dinner and then back to my home. guyz in a room, meihui and i in my bedroom. later, jinhao went onlining for hours ( summor sent me frenster commentz. swt u..) while the rest of us chatted. but it wasnt long coz kelvin the pig was sleepy. so meihui and i continue chatting till 3am...... den zzzZZZzzzzZZzz...

27th MAY 2008

woke up at 7.30am (sleepy!!!). ate breakfast in pudu then boarded the bus to kukup. the sight of kukup is great!! it was a fishing village with those kinda houses built on stiltz. de sea water was juzt right below the houses. nice!! after lunch at a seafood restaurant with meihui's daddy, we went for boat-riding. luckily it was good weather and a slight drizzle only. this's the view:

there were alot of 'kelong' in the middle of the sea, so we stopped by one of them and there was this boy introducing to us the various sea creatures:

horse-shoe crab

sting-ray

i dunno wat this is. but the brown thing in there is quite slimy. XD

later, we went jalan-jalan at the village ( do u knw, some of the ppl there are so rich they renovate their houses till they look like mansionz!! my god!!!!!) after tat, we went to meihui's house. which is also a nice sight:

from the backview of her house.

that night, we went for dinner of 'tongkang bihun', which is famous in kukup. den, we walked around the village again ( oh yea, forgot to mention, chia yi also joined us ) and gaze starz ( though not many, coz it was cloudy whole day )

11pm: sleepy.. but suddenly meihui, mei wei and jin hao wanted to play cardz, so i joined them. my god, it was one of the noisiest sessionz. we were practically screaming and laughing ( esp ahwei, she's so cute and funny!! ^^). till 1am, after ahwei went to bed, we continue chatting till 3am again... ( at the verandah, while watching the high tide and starz )

28th MAY 2008

going back kl today. after breakfast, we took some photos before leaving..

with my good friend in KMJ (same practicum, same hostel!!), meihui!! muax!

with meihui's super cute sis, mei wei

jin hao (so tall!!) and i. like father, like son XD

DO, RE, MI!! XD

yay!!! us in kukup!! friendship forever!! ^^

will miss all of u lerr.. hope to c u guyz again soon!! best is to get the same uni XD

wow.. i used the longest time to blog this. gotta go now ciaoz!!

YAY...............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-05-25T11:25:00.002+08:00

I'M GOING TO KUKUP AT LAST............!!!!!!!!

mom suddenly changed her mind and let me go... woohoo..... anywayz, tomorrow meihui, kelvin and jinhao are coming to kl. and i'll be their tourguide whahaha. welcome to KL, guyz!! XD

ntg much to say. going out for shopping later. gonna buy some stuff (keke..). btw, i've finished learning my driving lessonz. worst 1 was the last lesson. drove to cheras. coach said he wanted me to overcome my fear for cars, so we went there and the traffic-jam were quite bad. i was practically inching and using gear 1 or 2 all the time. plus itz manual. and there was tis one time i was trailing behind a super large construction lorry, i alwayz had the kinda feeling it would slide backwardz (we were at the highway, the road was slant) and hit on me. argh!!!! wat kind of stupid car phobia is this????

but now i'm getting better in it ler... so juz need to practise and practise!! go go go!!

blog soon.. byeee..

A HARD TEST......

2008-05-22T09:19:00.003+08:00

Checked my resultz yesterday. it was not disappointing, so i was pretty happy for that while until mom told me, 'hey.. u cant go johor ler, i'm afraid. ur daddy doesnt allow it. coz at johor..........." i din bother to listen. coz the main point is:

I CAN'T GO TO KUKUP!!!!!!!!!

owhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.................. heartbroken!!!!!!! to think tat the plan is almost successful and then u're double happy coz of ur good resultz, and then suddenly someone told u stuff that u'll consider tragic. so there's no point for me to finish folding those starz in time (since i've been so hardworking on them, with big hopes summor. aikxxx...... learnt my lesson ady)

wat a big big and torturing test!!!

ADUIIIIIIIII............................................................................

REACTION AFTER THE NEWS

i guess i should not be so upset over it lerr...... i've already waited for 1 month for someone whom i can't confirm the existence in my life, so watz this compared to that?? there's only one hope that is to be able to be in the same university together. that'z the most i can ask for.

MMS from someone thatz so precious to me ^^ (btw my com screen kept jerking, i dunno y. made my eyes going up and down =.='''')

a black heart??? lolx...... wonder what was the thing that formed the heart..? hmm..

wanna watch 'i not stupid' now. borrowed from vonz ages ago but haven't touch it yet kaka.....

ciaoz..