LET THESE BE OVER SOON....

examz and examz. i tink i'm going mad soon. least is depression ( and i got a feeling i've ady had a gist of it T__T)

better not pressure myself. wouldn't wanna enter asylum b4 i could get my degree. but wargh.. i reli cant stand it anymore!!!!!

spent my pityful valentine's day with books and notes and headaches. but i was grateful. had frenz who greeted me. thanks guyz, for remembering me ^^ mom got me this lovely wallet, as a small token for v-day. u know mom, i've alwayz wanted to say tis and i've been repeating for like zillionth time, u are a darling to me!! i cant imagine life without u. dun need to imagine, i'll take my life if u left me. mom, i love u alot. the way u support me, guide me throughout my ups and downs, the love and time and care u poured on me, itz undefined and not even all the money in the world can pay for this. u were there when i'm dealing with depression and misery, u were the angel that i worshipped since i was born, u were everything God has blessed me with. gosh, i shud keep this for mother's day i think. XD

proceed.

anyway, a good fren came to my coll to watch the sukmum basketball competition. gosh, so unexpected, but nevertheless i was glad to see him and the rest of the KMJ-ians that i missed so so so very much. they're like the coolest frenz that i ever had the fortune to meet. no matter how many palz i earned in UM, it's juz never the same with all of u ppl. hopefully we can go out yamcha one day la, if pharmacy hasnt turned me into a mad woman yet.

received a valentine's msg from someone. my gawd, i cant blif he did. ya lar i admit, i got a crush on him la. like him for his fun-loving character. ok stop. aint exposing too much in bloggie.

ciaoz... 2 hours of freaking on9 and acting like tests are ages away. benkyou!!!!

ERRMMMMM........

started the week feeling bored and perhaps not in the mood at all.

aikx dunno watz wrong with me

feels like i cant reli feel
as happy and carefree as last time
izit the aura here tatz not suitable
or the prob is with me
still undefined...

anywayz,
physical pharmacy test today
it was erm... haizz did some silly mistakes
and even forgot smth that i juz memorized
damn sad
tis subject
i could only hope to score from these tests
coz it seemz tat this lecturer
he was very very stingy in markz
seniors said u'll die kao kao in finalz
worries me like hell
and now i go put myself in tis situation
kanasai big time....

ppl were happy with the test ended
a fren even sounded grateful
tat i told her to memo a part
that actually came out in test today
but fuck it, that was also the smth that i forgotten
i hate mental blocks

T__T

and heterocyclic test results was out
3 more to full marks
but dunno watz wrong
i was disappointed with it too
y cant i learn
the meaning of gratitude??
upset coz i was a lil bit lower than the rest
but y cant i stop myself
from comparing
and juz judge myself????
damn stupid, since sem1 also laidat
keep telling myself
i duwan compare i duwan compare
but y still laidat??
make myself miserable for ntg nia~
u muz learn to let loose, suyuen!!!!!
asyik like tis,
u gonna kisiao b4 u graduate!!

chatted with mom,
spilled out all the bu shuang-ness
feeling much better now
still got more tests to go!
stop thinking wat has passed,
focus on the upcoming ones!!!


valentine's day coming
adui..... so wat...
itz juz anthr day for me
celebrate myself lorr!!

FAMILY DAY 2009-HAPPY PHARMILY

ystdy was full rehearsal for performance family day till 7.30pm. and suddenly they decided to add two more characters in the drama.. and of them was held by me.... try guess wat it is b4 u scroll down...whakakakakakakka

as early as 7.30am, medic fac was never that cheerful with loud music blasting away and 3rd years arranging the game stations and registration going on etc. after we got our badges, we did some last practice, laughing at each other's extreme SS-ness and great expressions.

started off with some aerobic
den it was time for the outdoor games
there were 10 stations
and they have all sorts of games
it reminded us of the fun fair type
u know
throwing coins into the boxes to get points and stuff
it was quite fun act
but the mood is spoilt with the increasing hot weather
and we din wanna get ourselves sweaty
coz later wanna make up and look nice
for drama ma....... XDXD


due to some technical error we couldn't take part in the indoor games
so we rushed to the bathroom
roomie was a great make-up artist
i couldn't blif she could act make me
looking juz exactly the role i'm holding

she's marvellous, i can't ask for more
drama crew were amazed with it too
plus with my glare and evil squint
gawd.... i'm purr-fect XD
now juz gotta depend on my acting
which i was feeling good with it
coz i actually offered myself for it
was excited with such cool character
i wanted to bring out
the nastiness in me
not juz remain sweet and simple
all the time
i know i can do it, coz i have
high confidence in myself.
yeah~ bring it on!!

letz check this out......

wat will u do if this thing sneaks behind u when u're looking at urself in the mirror..?

yup, i'm the evilish, scary Devil!!!!! grrrargh!!!

i knew i was half successful

when a kid passed in front of me

and he shouted, "HANTU!"

ok i think i sorta scare him too

coz i was making all those scary looks at him

baring my teeth and looking at him fiercely

the playfulness in me is boiling up again

it has alwayz been my favourite to

get playful with kidz

and then, he started to show those stunt moves

of Ultraman-like

and me also followed the same

but i did a wong fei hung version

meihui: "u also gila with him ah!"

and then that boy,

he ran to abang najib, our dept.'s assistant,

and tried to hide behind him

pointing at me

abang najib laughed

and said "itu orang lah!!"

whakakakakakakakaka~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!

drama was about to start *heart thumping*

we went in, stood beside the stage

waited for own's turn

and then this same boy

he came in with a balloon

and then he spotted me

laughed and called me hantu again

gave him my best cruel evil smile

this time he was braver

came to me and stood beside me

patted him on the head

kidz are so adorable!! gosh~

juz simply love friendly kidz

hmmmmm..............

told him to sit with the audience

so that he can see me clearer later

he did XD

finally it was my turn

went up the stage

hunching and extended my hands

glanced at every1 evilly

and then

A HIGH PITCHED SHRILL LAUGH

and

A DEEP SCARY VOICE( like i'm about to swallow u)

did my role so well

i was even surprised with myself and my acting skills XD

ahhh... love every moment of it!

frenz were congratulating

"my god, u're so scary!"

"i can never do tat. it looks so real!"

lolxxx.... see? knew i can make ppl say tat ^o^

too bad i forgotten to ask sum1 to record it for me

aikxxx

anywayz,everyone was fantabulous

in their parts contributing in this drama

they're all great actors and actresses

with creative storyline and cool music

it was a booming success

considering we hardly rehearsed

and my role was juz only included

the day before ^^

i'm sure if there's an award

for best performance

it'll be the first years (tatz us!)

FIRST YEAR POWER!!

more pix. enjoy, peeps!!

the best drama crew pharmacy ever had ^^

third years were great too. theyt were the ones who organised tis family day.all the backdrops and decorations and the flow of the whole event and the MOST important, their hard work and spirit. i juz have smth to say: CONGRATULATIONS!! u guyz rocks!!!

gotta get some good rest b4 starting intensive revision soon..... ciaozzz

in computer lab now. waiting for the drama rehearsal to start.

ntg reli happen recently,

family day's tmr

going to watch my fren's basketball match today

mpa1's starting work soon ==""

and i realise, i reli miss them alot

T__T

peeps been caring towards me

advise me and stuff

thx guyz

things might not be as easy as it is

but i appreciate the words u gave me

tat family is alwayz the one for us

i know

i felt the pain when i'm typing this out

the pain of being far from them

and tat i shud learn to accept them for who they are

the pain of listening to their voices

of comfort

gosh gotta stop it b4 my tears rolled down for the whole lab to laugh at me

anyway will be back home tmr, and tis time

i'll seal all unhappy feelings

try to make up with dad (if tatz possible)

get on with some family meals

bore them with rants on how stress pharmacy is (lol..)

spend more time with them

and appreciate every single moment we have together ^^


ok shifting to life in UM..

things have been under control so far
but pharmacy aint looking good
tests and more tests are coming soon
and omfg, the topics covered are huge!!!
physio, physical pharmacy, ppku and biochem
they're all coming like tsunami
and they're juz exactly like tsunami
destructive, dangerous, massive
heavy subjects
i wonder whether i have enaf time and brains
to even pass the paper, put aside scoring it
aikxxxx..... terrible
y do i land up with this course anyway
ystdy was debating with frenz bout
how life shud be carried out
enjoy and experience wat the world's gotta offer us
or bury in thick books and endless formulas
and hair-tearing theories
i mean its reli a waste of time going thru all these
going for exams(which is the only thing tat drives us to study)
and then *poof* we forget wat we learn
try throwing me a q on wat the structures of stomach is
and i'll stare at u blankly

see? see wat i mean by meaningless learning?
we dun reli apply wat we learn now in future
when i graduate(which i still doubt whether i can or not)
i wont be telling patients wat carbohydrates are
or wat is renal system
i'll juz prescribe them the medicine they want
for their headaches or severe skin allegies wat
reli reli dun und......

am gonna stop ranting.

rehearsal's starting. byezzzz

WOW.... ENJOYING LIFE RECENTLY....

whalala~~ juz came back from penang. oh btw.... happy chinese Niu (moooo~) year!!!! with cash coming in now.... i juz wanna splurge it in shopping again!!!! woooohaaa! but aikx.... holz meanz study to me, coz my dear lecturers will never let me forget tat i still have mid-sem tests after cny ends. aduiiiii~~~

anyway, itz a week full of (^o^) to me so letz not spoil the mood! last monday and tuesday(20th-21st jan) :

SWIMMING COMPETITION, SUKMUM 2008/2009

well... on monday morning, i woke up with a lump in my throat. i was sick. diu... but tatz not gonna affect my spirit for the competition tat night!! aza aza fighting!! so we went to the sports centre where UM had tis large swimming pool. honestly i was very nervous, coz i've never taken part in such competitions b4.. and i dunno how good other competitors are.. and i got a feeling i shouldn't be there on that day. (a senior tricked me by saying "aiya... UM galz not many can swim 1. u sure can win de!")

ok cut short the crap. so, with juz three times of training after 2 yrs of quitting the swimming arena, there i was with my teammates, feeling all clammy inside. and then it rained alot, but luckily it stopped juz for the competition (phewwwww~). it started a bit late but splash splash and cheers, it was my turn. 5om freestyle was my 1st event. few of my frenz came to watch the event, and while i was on top of my lane nikku arrived and called out on me. i could only smiled back weakly ^^

Get set....... PHEEEETTTT!!!!

and the next moment, i realised my sprint has given me 1st place in my own hit. i was like.... ecstatic!!! i was 5secs behind to get the bronze thoughhh... so i juz settled with 4th den. but hey, i lost to ppl who represented the country and also those who took part in competitions b4. i was satisfied enaf, yet i was shuddering when i saw my teammates up there receiving medals. i'm gonna get 1 of those the next day!!!!!!!!!

2nd day: my back hurt alot. ystdy sprained it while i dived.(the cause: i've never dived b4 and i never knew how to and it was only ystdy i decided to. ==""). and i got a flu. caught a cold during the rain. warghhh!!!! competition was still on, muz continue aza!

anywayz, today was 100m, 4x50m and 4x100m for me. very heavy events. but it was also my last chance to win a medal!

it was a great day. for 100m, i actually competed against my buddy, MY! she was juz at the lane next to mine. whakaka. one of the rarest thing ever happened i think. XD

and...........................

yeah!!!! i'm proud and prouder to announce that i'm the gold and bronze medallist for 4x100m and 100m respectively!!!!!! whakakakaka. let the pictures do the talking~

Daniel and the galz. he was like, the superhero. 8 medalz in his possession! ><

1st college POWER!!!


ok, tatz me for 100m. haha. the gal in blue: she was the national swimmer! aww man... i'm so lucky to be standing beside her!!

4x100m powergalz! (i'm beside HJ again XD)

ME!!!!

My babies~


oh gawd, i've so much to talk bout the competition but i'm juz too lazy to blog it up. i lurve my teammates, and the bond we've formed was like so strong nobody will believe that we only knew each other within two dayz. (well, maybe only between me and the seniors XD). i lurve from meeting new ppl, to having ppl cheering on me when i was competing, the tiger souvenirs, the medals, the rain, the flu i caught, the backache tat was worth it, the competitors, the referees, the this and the that. ahhhh!!!! cant wait for the next SUKMUM (if i'm still staying in coll then) gonna train harder ady. yesh!!!

anywayz, let proceed. tat was me during last week's kempen derma darah (saturday, 17th jan). i was one of the AJKs but look at wat i did when i was too bored during my shift.....

Yupz, i donated blood!!! whakaka. again, it was my 1st time. i cant blif i was available to donate anyway, i alwayz tot i have a bit of anemia.... but doctor said my blood pressure was low so... wat shud i do then? hmm.... anyway, it sorta hurt a bit ( i felt tat probably coz i dislike needles ><) but imagining those sick ppl out there who need this 300ml blood of mine to save them from death, the pain was bearable. (as a medic-line student, thatz how i tink lolx). but surprising;y, the blood came out fast (the gal beside me: "wow, blood pressure low but y so fast the packet ady full?" me: "dunno la, weh..") and i didn't feel dizzy at all. in fact, i was practically turning around and wondering when can i get off the bed. (the nurse was fusing over so much. "sakit tak? pening tak?" waduhh....)

great experience..... ^^

and then on the same day, i had my pharmnite. it was at grand seasons hotel. ntg much to blog la act... kinda boring punye event... the best bit was able to dress up and looking like a princess. one time i was sitting at the lobby with my frenz to get some drinks, and there was this group of japanese tourists. one of the old ladies came over to our side and looking pleasantly surprised, and uttering smth in nihon at the same time. probably saying "wow, wat gorgeous ladies..!" XD

some ss picz...

lolxxxx~~~

oh yeah... i was chosen as MPA1's emcee! gosh.. anthr great news for me! ^^ i mean, i never tot i'll get thru tat. being emcee is smth i wanted for some time now, and then i wasn't very confident with it (many ppl auditioned for it, and some were emcees b4. me: nil experience) . but yeah, i got the role. i'm gonna give my best. i'm partnering a malay guy who was like so good, he's been emcee in several occasions b4. gonna take him as my sifu liao kakazz.... i juz knew i din wanna be sum1 unknown for this big event... *smiled sheepishly*

after term starts, there'll b Pharmacy's Family Day and also coll's CC dinner. surprised i join smth cc organised? haha yeah tis's my 1st ever activity i'm involved lerrrr..... i'm juz gonna enjoy, have fun and b myself. coz i knew.. i've achieved so much so far and it has done me proud of myself. needless to say, i'm still trying to gain the self-esteem back in me and i knw i can do it.... to seal any unnecessary feelings tat can upset me, to be sum1 happier, and to take things step by step. one day.. i'll make ppl c who the real me is and to discover tat i'm not juz a nobody. i may not prove it today, maybe not tomorrow but i'll b 1 one day. i will not bother bout those narrow-minded ppl who only getz around friendly with the hoohaa ones, and hardly smiled when the quieter ones waved at them with a hello. tatz hurting man... but look at me, wat i've gotta tell u. i dun care.

do i sound cocky? no no no... i'm juz expressing wat i feel. lolx

wat long post. *tired* enaf laaaaa......

A BITTERSWEET WEEK =)

blogging this while in the comp lab for kemahiran maklumat. one of the most sien subjects i've ever seen in uni, besides titas and h.etnik. ==''''



this week passed faster than last week, and i can consider it as a very roller-coaster type of week. started off din reli feel happy with everything, with my old 'disease' attacking me again and needed 45minz of counselling from mom. plus with some bad news here and there had upset me real alot.



exhausted and fed-up



T.T good thing i left my stuff at home and needed mom to take it for me. she gave me a hug which almost made me burst out crying again in less than 24hrs but hey, i felt so much better and optimistic after that.



ok stop blogging so emo-ly. proceed.





it was wednesday when my mood finally improved. had english on that day (oh gosh, i love miss steffi alot. she reminded me of miss sheeda, my english lecturer when i was in matric. how come they alwayz managed to gain my admiration? XD) and we had this lil role play regarding different types of communication, and my group was supposed to act out downward communication, which was about a senior speaking to the junior.



MF came out with this fantastic idea on "eh, let's do orientation week. we're orientators, then we get the others to b the freshies." we agreed on that instantly.



it was hilarious and quirky, i'm telling you. MF and i were like yelling at our teammates (they were the so-called freshies) and threatening them with the same pattern as wat we hav gone thru last time. the prob is, we were stealing silent laughters all the time bcoz it juz din feel right to be doing that on our peers. one of our frenz recorded the whole play and i still laughed at it till today



=D



anyway it was definitely enjoyable. and miss steffi was amazed at the way our orientation is carried out. lol....



too bad my sore throat gotten a bit worse on that day and i couldn't eat properly. that night, after i finished my coll project, a fren of mine gave me his medicine for my throat. much better now. ^^

will blog bout my swimming competition soon.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, PEEPS!!!!!!!!

rite i'm not gonna repeat that.


HAPPY NEW YEAR AGAIN!!

well today's 3rd jan ady and i din get to update it right after 12midnite on 1st and all i did was laze around and going to the bookshop and pouring over lilian too's 2009 feng shui book and oh come on, itz still new year guyz!

anyway, with 2008's gone now meanz i'm having new resolution(s?) for this yr:

a) i want to be slimmer and 45kg. possibly wearing S-sized shorts. yeah yeah, it's alwayz de same ever and i'm still saying this for anthr yr *threw dirty looks at the potruding tummy*

b) i'm not gonna procrastinate in watever i do. esp in my studies. (22 credit hrs, omg!)

c) i'm gonna b more ladylike, and that meanz HEELS! dear was juz telling me ystdy how she was addicted to heels and (with capital letters) told me to get a pair too.

and tis's wat i said: "ok. i'll b getting it on my 19th bday." lollxxx


talking bout heels, i lurrrrrve Prada! wait till i got ka-ching 1st.


and also their totes.

and that LV! *dreamy*

anyway moving on. has anyone mentioned to u a story about a girl with two plasters on her foot and whining on aching arms for some bad incidents the day b4?

u c, wat reli happened is ystdy i went to the library after class to borrow some reference books. (resolution (b) in progress keke). so i found two which i wanted and goddamn, they were like all 7 harry potter series stacked up together. plus with my file, i had to look sideways for me to walk without tripping on rocks or stairs.

and then to make things worse, my shoes were biting off my skin. (can my feet have grown over the holz? ToT). so i walked from faculty back to my college by taking exactly 20minz, with two books and a file in my arms and shoes that were killing me. raindrops can b felt on my forehead and i was like, "oh no, not now. i dun have 3rd arm!"

so tatz it. gonna wear sneakers to cover that ugly plaster-ed foot next time