Random random

got jammed a while thinking of my password. problems with ppl who abandoned their blogs and not even bother to look in sometimes. anyway back again. life is pretty simple recently. Pharmily Day's just ended. seriously speaking i can only feel half a joy throughout the event. i guess i'll feel more satisfied if i get to contribute more than juz collecting funds and waiting for ppl to claim money from me. (yep, i was the treasurer. High committee sounds good, but i would prefer work than name. anyway it was a great success.

attended kimi's 21st birthday last friday. Happy birthday babe i lub u so so much =) it was a simple yet meaningful gathering among us ex-st. marians at pastry chef (somewhere near desa park with lots of cakes and desserts as their main course). Although motly attended are kimi's former classmates and her former collegemates who i am not close with, i get to meet anthr of my bestie, Taufu!! really missed chatting and catching up with them. i felt the happiest when i'm with people like them, always. my old pals. looking at them and also the rest of the noisy fun-loving play 18SX-games gals there, it really reflects to me how different having them and the frenz i have in uni. they are like the opposite in so many aspects. no wonder ppl always said, appreciate frenz from ur secondary skul life coz that is the period where u enjoyed the most. positively true. u can really be urself when u're with them. they are the ones who u can show ur most childish and idiotic sides where they are forbidden in the eyes of others. coz we knew each other when we were all young and still growing. we can make ourselves silly, coz we are silly people back then in skul. which makes me think of my other bestie kki, who mentioned Hukum Nikyuen few weeks ago. i almost died from missing those moments we created that stupid law (which involve very difficult formulas to calculate the velocity of urine) and started bragging with each other that it will be made the compulsory subject in skul and kids will dread learning it, complaining how crazily difficult it is to their brains. yes, i dun think so i have the confidence in finding anyone to create such nonsense with me now anymore.

still, it is part and parcel of life. the past is to be cherished, not to be looked back. i have to grow. everyone has to grow.

now for something more trivial, i've been making some plans for my future. i ought to really start improving myself in my course. it burdens me if ppl told me i can cope in my studies no matter how much i complain about it. i mean, it's not like spm or pmr or watever exams we have in skul. it is not addmaths where u can juz use ur calculator and do alot of exercises. It is not like biology where u can juz memorize and understand things like photosynthesis. Or BM where u can juz learn ur tatabahasa or answer some prosa tradisional questions. pharmacy is a challenge for me. it has never been my choice to be in pharmacy. *hits self for not having an ambition* 3rd year is the clinical year, the key that i have to gain in order to serve others in future. but it is not helping me when i couldnt remember what i have been learning for the past 2 years. like it or not, i shud buck up. not being kiasu, but i seriously need to improve. i dont wish to be like those doctors (i am not gonna be one, juz taking it as an example) who diagnose patients wrongly and later being laughed at by the society. (who in my opinion are so smart nowadays they might even correct u ppl if u made slight mistakes). once i had these rashes all over my skin and the doctor said i have psoriasis. swt die me. summor ask me whether i have backbone pain anot fhl. so erm ya, i really duwan to be like him. i duwan to give out the wrong prescriptions and having other pharmacists or worse, aunties uncles to shout at me "bodoh punye pharmacist bagi ubat salah! u dari mana datang!?"

so this is what i have been thinking recently. i am scared. u see? and there are some messy dirty people who get on my nerves lately. for one thing i really cannot stand seeing a place where i stay to be not in order. it depresses me a few months already, having to come back to a place which is so crazily messed up. it is bad enough to see such condition, but having my own place made dirty and messy by these certain kind of people is taking a great toll on my patience ftl. it's really sickening having to clean up their mess for them. i am not complaining, coz i do the cleaning up all the time. it's juz that i hope from my actions, these people will learn that there are some disgustingly unhealthy habits they really need to change. but a person's character is not to be changed in a day's time.

these kinda things are bothering me alot it drives me mad. sighs. but there is one person who i can depend on whenever i have things to confide into. on the way back home today, mom saw how miserable i was with my week having to tolerate these things and also other matters plus my mood swings, she stopped by at the roadside to buy us cendols. what would i do without her? i think i have the answer. i'd juz die.