Appreciation.....

Juz read someone's blog post about her memories of her deceased dad and how much she missed him. it simply sent my tears flowing. her guilt of not visiting her ill dad coz of her exams, how her dad showered his undefined love to her and the family, his deep thoughts in protecting and keeping his family safe while he's no longer with them. It made me think of how i've been treating my family this whole 19years of living. am i a filial daughter so far? have i done things that made them proud so far, or am i just a parasite at home and in this society?



Humans only appreciate something when it's no longer with us. we tend to make mistake, hurt other ppl without realising, being stupid with ourselves. people always said i'm too dependent of my family, whenever i told them that my troubles and sadness and thoughts are only shared with my family, they told me that i'm such a mommy gal, daddy gal, family gal, etc. i can go to the extend to cancel all my plans and go home juz to be with them, celebrating each other's birthdays, anniversaries, sis's success in her projects and exams, dad's employment, mom's payment increase etc. there's ntg fucking wrong with it. my family is more important than myself. loving them means my whole life. the comfort i feel in it cannot be compared to anything or anywhere else in this world.



i have my way of appreciating these ppl, and i dont want to regret in the future for the times when i could have be with them and i din, when i could have hold my mom's hands but i din, when i could have listened to my sis complaining about her lousy teachers and bitchy frenz but i din, when i could have help my dad to make his cup of tea for him but i din.

i reli dont want to regret.

for the gal who misses her dad, stay strong. whenever u're crying under ur blanket at night, whenever u're looking back at the photos of u and ur dad sharing moments together, rmbr that he's not gone. he lives in u and ur family. he's alive wherever u are. close ur eyes and u'll feel his presence, keeping u safe and warm with his tender heart and spirit