am i going to be trapped in that 'web' again?
am i falling into the wrong hole once more?
how come this feeling is coming to me again?
*emo-ing*
when it happened some weeks ago
i cant accept it
it wasn't me
running away and avoiding is painful
facing it will make me
confused with
who i am
the true me
i blamed on stress
caused me to lose control
and my sanity
i denied the abnormality in me
but the more i did
the more pain i felt
i hate the fact that the person is sad
over someone special who has hurt itz feelingz
juz 1 reason
i knw i care so much for that person
and that it goes the wrong way
and making thingz worse
by confusing me
after that
i was normal again
the monster in me is dead
but now itz coming out again
i couldnt imagine this
plz plz plz!!
if i'm very sure with
this from start
it shudnt have happen again
i cant stay away from it
itz following me sometimes
it wasn't addictive
but i dont want it to
affect me
control me
possessed me
all over again!!
ppl are telling me
how lucky i am
the care that i received
and this brought
alot of admiration in me
for that person
but there was no way
that this feeling
shud be found out
by anyone
nobody will accept this
especially that person
it shud be juz
me and my best pal
know bout it
only she understands me
so juz let me
continue to care
and admire
this person
who has a place in my heart
plz get this feeling away
as fast as possible....
part two:
i'm still missing someone till now. everytime i sat by myself, the thought drifted in me. if only i could push aside the ego in me and juz ask how is everything going on.. but the guilt is still dere.. and only time will heal it..
Saturday, August 30, 2008
ANATOMY TEST AND MERDEKA PARADE IN UM
Last week was i guess, one of the most tiring weeks for me, besides orientation dayz. after watching formallin-soaked human organz(brains, intestines, legs, anyone?) and horrified by the fact that many of my course mates were darn good in memorizing anatomy notes, i hit the panic button. wtf, based on my knowledge tat subject, i would have probably flunk the paper cukup-cukup. so i set myself to work till early mornings to re-read my notes again, trying to stuff in as much as i could till my brain was saturated with scientific names and functions. and life was made more miserable for me as i was chosen to represent pharmacy dept for UM's merdeka parade.
and gawd, we pharmacy students had to dance boria. wtf, i dun even knw wat tat was. when i found it out, i went
Wat.
The.
*censored*
can anything be worse than this?
thank god physiology paper is postponed till next two weeks. if not, i would have die kao kao there, right in front of u.
anyway, i skipped some rehearsals due to the fact that it was a complete waste of time. i have got to finish reading for my test!! nothing is more important compared to my disastrous anatomy progress. reli tension momentz. and watching my roommate is no help either, she made me felt more stress. plus the thought tat she didnt need to waste time going for that parade thingie was painful enaf to bring tears to my eyes..
few hours before the test, had lunch with my next room neighbour during matric times, ying wei. gosh, i missed her alotz!!!! though i met her a few times in the cafe, i din get to chat with her and ystdy we did. and we chatted like how we used to. i reli missed all the memories we had in KMJ, she was such great neighbour and pal. when i told her i gotta go prepare for exam and to wish me luck, she said, "aiya, no need wish u the best, u're already the best." awwww..... wat sweet and meaningful things to say. love u! *hugz*
well.. i guessed the paper was ok anyway......
night: went to dtc at 8.15pm. it was drizzling a bit, but it stopped quite few minz later (good thing..). pharmacy studentz were supposed to perform in labcoats, so here we were in the beautifully decorated outfitz..
The pretty, professional ones: shinyi, siok hui, mun yin, sei ling, shy kee and me ^^
and gawd, we pharmacy students had to dance boria. wtf, i dun even knw wat tat was. when i found it out, i went
Wat.
The.
*censored*
can anything be worse than this?
thank god physiology paper is postponed till next two weeks. if not, i would have die kao kao there, right in front of u.
anyway, i skipped some rehearsals due to the fact that it was a complete waste of time. i have got to finish reading for my test!! nothing is more important compared to my disastrous anatomy progress. reli tension momentz. and watching my roommate is no help either, she made me felt more stress. plus the thought tat she didnt need to waste time going for that parade thingie was painful enaf to bring tears to my eyes..
few hours before the test, had lunch with my next room neighbour during matric times, ying wei. gosh, i missed her alotz!!!! though i met her a few times in the cafe, i din get to chat with her and ystdy we did. and we chatted like how we used to. i reli missed all the memories we had in KMJ, she was such great neighbour and pal. when i told her i gotta go prepare for exam and to wish me luck, she said, "aiya, no need wish u the best, u're already the best." awwww..... wat sweet and meaningful things to say. love u! *hugz*
well.. i guessed the paper was ok anyway......
night: went to dtc at 8.15pm. it was drizzling a bit, but it stopped quite few minz later (good thing..). pharmacy studentz were supposed to perform in labcoats, so here we were in the beautifully decorated outfitz..
The pretty, professional ones: shinyi, siok hui, mun yin, sei ling, shy kee and me ^^we waited for 3 hours juz to perform a 4minz dance. walao.... but the whole event was so lively and colourful. i din get the chance to watch at all (was standing on tiptoes to peep wat was happening on the dataran), but from those sounds and cheerz from audience, it must have been a great show. yet, suddenly a feeling came to me:
there was not much regret that i din get to be one of the audiences, coz being able to be a part of this event, when they announced, 'persembahan seterusnya adalah daripada kontinjen Kolej Pertama dan Jabatan Farmasi!' it brought pride to my heart lolxx~ (@^o^@)
labcoats helped alot.. kaka!
very disappointed with somebody after that.. her words were not true to her actionz.. letz not mention anymore.. the pain shud be juz buried deep in me, coz we were not destined to hate each other. there was too much to risk if we were not talking..
no one understands.. only my panda mommy does..
haizz
Saturday, August 23, 2008
SAYONARA TO HOLIDAYZ ==""
omg there goes my one week holidayz. itz gonna end soon lerr and the point is, i havent been enjoying at all!!
walaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!...........!!!!!!
watching taekwondo olympicz now. malaysia vs norway. norway leading with 3-0. hope for anthr medal is gone with the winds.....
summerlive concert starting tonight!!!! yatta~!!!
dunno wat to say. i'm practically crapping. my holidayzzzz........................................
bored...
walaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!...........!!!!!!
watching taekwondo olympicz now. malaysia vs norway. norway leading with 3-0. hope for anthr medal is gone with the winds.....
summerlive concert starting tonight!!!! yatta~!!!
dunno wat to say. i'm practically crapping. my holidayzzzz........................................
bored...
Monday, August 18, 2008
MOVIES AND ANATOMY
woke up early this morning to study anatomy. skeletal system. memorizing a bunch of complicated bone names and the even more difficult structures and functionz of them were reli giving me the headache. and after the test next thursday, it would be buried in ground, waiting to be digged out and stuffed into my brain again. aikxxx~ wat a complete waste of time..
anyway, went out to 1U with dear. she wanted to watch wall-e, and i juz wanted some break after a rough start of holz and also to stay away from the hateful anatomy. itz quite a nice movie la, with good animation and erm, cute robotz. but i fell asleep half an hour before it ended =="""" (dear: walao u reli geng leh. laidat also can zzz) wanna watch 'meet dave' soon. who's interested? XD
this's for dear, if u're reading this: thankx for being there for me whenever i need someone by my side. nothing's more comfortable than having u as my close fren, my ears to listen to my probz, my shoulders to cry on (though i never did that keke). u're almost equal to my mom, and i'm grateful with that. hope to learn from u more in the future on how to deal with my own affairs better. u're a great person, who has grown alot all these years. that is why i can cope with wat i'm going through now, only bcoz u're with me.thankx. muahx~ lol
anyway, went out to 1U with dear. she wanted to watch wall-e, and i juz wanted some break after a rough start of holz and also to stay away from the hateful anatomy. itz quite a nice movie la, with good animation and erm, cute robotz. but i fell asleep half an hour before it ended =="""" (dear: walao u reli geng leh. laidat also can zzz) wanna watch 'meet dave' soon. who's interested? XD
this's for dear, if u're reading this: thankx for being there for me whenever i need someone by my side. nothing's more comfortable than having u as my close fren, my ears to listen to my probz, my shoulders to cry on (though i never did that keke). u're almost equal to my mom, and i'm grateful with that. hope to learn from u more in the future on how to deal with my own affairs better. u're a great person, who has grown alot all these years. that is why i can cope with wat i'm going through now, only bcoz u're with me.thankx. muahx~ lol
Friday, August 15, 2008
ANNUAL GATHERING OF PHARMACY DEPARTMENT 2008/2009
BY FIRST YEAR STUDENTS
Together Forever. Without unity, there is no strength in a community. With one determination and one voice, we stand strong above others. With an all-round approval from all the first year students, this is the theme for our annual gathering 08/09 : “Together Forever”. This event is held successfully every year and the most important thing is, it is organized by the first year pharmacy students, who then were still being acknowledged as freshies, for the lecturers and seniors. The objective of this event is to build strong team spirit among the juniors and also with others. It was indeed our big day throughout our 3 weeks of the department orientation. The hard work we put in, the frustration we felt, the tiredness we endured, the sleepless nights we had, were all for this gathering. Success is definitely what we had hoped for in this event.
The annual gathering was held at 25th July 2008 in Dewan Jemerlang. There were 5 bureaus; performance, technical, decorations, publicity & protocol and refreshments. With good teamwork, we managed to come out with a few good ideas for the performances. We had choir, combination of dances (comprising malay, indian, modern and boys dance), dikir barat, and drama. At the end of the performances, we would dance accompanied by our theme song, High School's Musical “We're All In This Together”.
The event kicked off with the superbly interesting candle performance. Next, it was the multimedia presentation, then followed up by choir, which comprised 16 girls. We sang along to the song “Voice of Tomorrow”. It was definitely a good start for this gathering as we not only managed to entertain the crowd, the ever enthusiastic Dr. Zoriah also joined us onstage. Dikir barat was next and they performed to the song 'Dikir Puteri'.
Then, it was time for the much awaited combination of dances. Students clad in beautiful outfits that matched with the type of dances they were involved in displayed their skills and brought up the high spirits among the crowd. The boys dance got the most cheers from everybody. Staff and seniors couldn't hold back to their seats due to belly-tickling laughs. After the marvellous performance from the dancers, it was the drama’s turn. The story was about a poor boy with big ambition who, despite facing many complications like having not enough money to fund his education, strived hard for success. He then graduated as a pharmacist. It was definitely a very entertaining and inspiring story, with great actors and props.
The finale was the best, where all the first year students rushed in from both entrances, with the theme song blasted merrily in the hall. We took turns to go upstage and danced energetically. Some seniors were even spotted joining us in the dance. It was undoubtedly a good way to end the annual gathering. After that, refreshments were served to the guests. Everyone was satisfied and contented during the whole duration. But, the happiest were still the 1st years, because we were finally approved as juniors!
In short, annual gathering 08/09 was a great success, and it was a good experience for all of us. It proves to us that unity is very essential in determining one's future, and that includes academic as well as developing our soft-skills in this pharmacy department. Let’s hope for the best together, forever.
BY FIRST YEAR STUDENTS
Together Forever. Without unity, there is no strength in a community. With one determination and one voice, we stand strong above others. With an all-round approval from all the first year students, this is the theme for our annual gathering 08/09 : “Together Forever”. This event is held successfully every year and the most important thing is, it is organized by the first year pharmacy students, who then were still being acknowledged as freshies, for the lecturers and seniors. The objective of this event is to build strong team spirit among the juniors and also with others. It was indeed our big day throughout our 3 weeks of the department orientation. The hard work we put in, the frustration we felt, the tiredness we endured, the sleepless nights we had, were all for this gathering. Success is definitely what we had hoped for in this event.
The annual gathering was held at 25th July 2008 in Dewan Jemerlang. There were 5 bureaus; performance, technical, decorations, publicity & protocol and refreshments. With good teamwork, we managed to come out with a few good ideas for the performances. We had choir, combination of dances (comprising malay, indian, modern and boys dance), dikir barat, and drama. At the end of the performances, we would dance accompanied by our theme song, High School's Musical “We're All In This Together”.
The event kicked off with the superbly interesting candle performance. Next, it was the multimedia presentation, then followed up by choir, which comprised 16 girls. We sang along to the song “Voice of Tomorrow”. It was definitely a good start for this gathering as we not only managed to entertain the crowd, the ever enthusiastic Dr. Zoriah also joined us onstage. Dikir barat was next and they performed to the song 'Dikir Puteri'.
Then, it was time for the much awaited combination of dances. Students clad in beautiful outfits that matched with the type of dances they were involved in displayed their skills and brought up the high spirits among the crowd. The boys dance got the most cheers from everybody. Staff and seniors couldn't hold back to their seats due to belly-tickling laughs. After the marvellous performance from the dancers, it was the drama’s turn. The story was about a poor boy with big ambition who, despite facing many complications like having not enough money to fund his education, strived hard for success. He then graduated as a pharmacist. It was definitely a very entertaining and inspiring story, with great actors and props.
The finale was the best, where all the first year students rushed in from both entrances, with the theme song blasted merrily in the hall. We took turns to go upstage and danced energetically. Some seniors were even spotted joining us in the dance. It was undoubtedly a good way to end the annual gathering. After that, refreshments were served to the guests. Everyone was satisfied and contented during the whole duration. But, the happiest were still the 1st years, because we were finally approved as juniors!
In short, annual gathering 08/09 was a great success, and it was a good experience for all of us. It proves to us that unity is very essential in determining one's future, and that includes academic as well as developing our soft-skills in this pharmacy department. Let’s hope for the best together, forever.
(this report is done by me keke ^^)
UNI LIFE: I WASTE TOO MUCH OF TIME!
finally another new update after a long long absence.
y? coz everyday busy.
busy wasting time.
today's first day of sem break. skipped tat lousy hubungan etnik to come home early. had four hrz of class today (normally only 1 hour. suddenly add a tutorial class and replacement for physio. sobz lecturers are big bullies....)
anywayz, will meet up with my good palz soon. but there's not much time for me to waste anymore. at uni is ady a nightmare. took part in coll's activities, hang out with frenz, shopping, pbsm, yamcha bla bla bla. ended up today when the pharmaceutical chem test results was out, i did..
badly.
T_________________T
it wasnt tat bad also act coz i'm among the average, but honestly, i know i've been lagging in my studies lately. i muz reli work hard!!!!! coz after holidayz, there'll b three papers and 2 of them are killer subjects for me.
physiology and anatomy. kill kill
my vow to myself:
no more pasar malams
no more yamcha
study whenever i have time
go back to kmj lifestyle
and
reduce pbsm is possible. if....
got chosen accidentally for perarakan kemerdekaan. walao eh all of a sudden!! din even get my permission yet and i saw my big name on that damn piece of paper. and they make the whole event sounded so worthful to join.
"u'll get two certs. one from pharmacy HEP and anthr 1 from 1st coll. maybe after this, ur chance to stay in coll next yr is much higher. 7pm to 9pm at dtc(no excuses for not able to stay under hot sun). still can go back home during weekends for merdeka holz. only need to practise a few times. join la. itz compulsory."
can i say no?
haizzzzzzzzzzzzz. thank god physio test is postponed till sept. if not, i'll reli kill myself coz of this.
dun feel like talking much.
will upload some photos on my orientation, annual gathering and the latest of myself soon. feel free to visit my frenster for picz as well ^^
y? coz everyday busy.
busy wasting time.
today's first day of sem break. skipped tat lousy hubungan etnik to come home early. had four hrz of class today (normally only 1 hour. suddenly add a tutorial class and replacement for physio. sobz lecturers are big bullies....)
anywayz, will meet up with my good palz soon. but there's not much time for me to waste anymore. at uni is ady a nightmare. took part in coll's activities, hang out with frenz, shopping, pbsm, yamcha bla bla bla. ended up today when the pharmaceutical chem test results was out, i did..
badly.
T_________________T
it wasnt tat bad also act coz i'm among the average, but honestly, i know i've been lagging in my studies lately. i muz reli work hard!!!!! coz after holidayz, there'll b three papers and 2 of them are killer subjects for me.
physiology and anatomy. kill kill
my vow to myself:
no more pasar malams
no more yamcha
study whenever i have time
go back to kmj lifestyle
and
reduce pbsm is possible. if....
got chosen accidentally for perarakan kemerdekaan. walao eh all of a sudden!! din even get my permission yet and i saw my big name on that damn piece of paper. and they make the whole event sounded so worthful to join.
"u'll get two certs. one from pharmacy HEP and anthr 1 from 1st coll. maybe after this, ur chance to stay in coll next yr is much higher. 7pm to 9pm at dtc(no excuses for not able to stay under hot sun). still can go back home during weekends for merdeka holz. only need to practise a few times. join la. itz compulsory."
can i say no?
haizzzzzzzzzzzzz. thank god physio test is postponed till sept. if not, i'll reli kill myself coz of this.
dun feel like talking much.
will upload some photos on my orientation, annual gathering and the latest of myself soon. feel free to visit my frenster for picz as well ^^
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