CONFESSIONS OF A CONFUSED HEART

am i going to be trapped in that 'web' again?

am i falling into the wrong hole once more?

how come this feeling is coming to me again?

*emo-ing*

when it happened some weeks ago
i cant accept it
it wasn't me

running away and avoiding is painful
facing it will make me
confused with
who i am
the true me

i blamed on stress
caused me to lose control
and my sanity

i denied the abnormality in me
but the more i did
the more pain i felt
i hate the fact that the person is sad
over someone special who has hurt itz feelingz
juz 1 reason
i knw i care so much for that person
and that it goes the wrong way
and making thingz worse
by confusing me

after that
i was normal again
the monster in me is dead

but now itz coming out again
i couldnt imagine this
plz plz plz!!
if i'm very sure with
this from start
it shudnt have happen again

i cant stay away from it
itz following me sometimes
it wasn't addictive
but i dont want it to
affect me
control me
possessed me
all over again!!

ppl are telling me
how lucky i am
the care that i received
and this brought
alot of admiration in me
for that person

but there was no way
that this feeling
shud be found out
by anyone
nobody will accept this
especially that person
it shud be juz
me and my best pal
know bout it

only she understands me

so juz let me
continue to care
and admire
this person
who has a place in my heart
plz get this feeling away
as fast as possible....



part two:

i'm still missing someone till now. everytime i sat by myself, the thought drifted in me. if only i could push aside the ego in me and juz ask how is everything going on.. but the guilt is still dere.. and only time will heal it..